Title: Sugar-Noodles
Part: 1/1
Author: LumCheng
Fandom: Death Note
Pairing: Matt/Mello (Near/Matt?)
Rating: Work Safe
Warnings: yaoi, silly, crack, cursing, blah
Note: Uhm, I wrote this in 30 minutes, while talking to Cat on ICQ and it was so funny XD. Shunya translated it and yeah, hope you have some fun reading it? o.o'
Beta: Billie! Thanks, dear, you're the best:)

xXxXxXxXxXx

Annoyed, Matt massaged his temples with his gloved fingers when he heard steps coming towards the bedroom for the third time that afternoon.
He just wanted to chat calmly at his computer, play around a little bit, watch some porn, maybe satisfy himself later... but first of all, he needed to be alone.

But Mello didn't leave him alone.
He kept attacking the bedroom, bursting in to tell him the newest 'awesome thing.'
The door opened and coming in was... Mello.

"Hey, Matt..."

"Hey, WHAT?!"

The blonde didn't notice his friend's pissed tone. He bubbled along animatedly.

"Well, I wanted to show you something right now. I'm watching this one series... and this one trick... I just HAVE to show it to you!"

Impatiently, he waved his hands around and came near him.
Matt closed all the windows in his computer and turned his head to the side.

"No."

"No? What do you mean‚ 'no'? Erm, maybe later?"

"No!"

"Tomorrow?"

"NO!"

"..."

Irritated, the older one stood still and looked at Matt with big eyes.

"Don't get so mean. Pff, you'll see, one of these days you'll be attacked and robbed, even though the guy was acting so nice and courteous to you earlier..."

Mello's words gradually faded as he went back to the living room, drowned out by the noise on the television.
Carefully, Matt leaned to the side with his chair and then back, making sure that his friend really had gone back to the couch.

But the moment he leaned back to go surf the net again, the phone, sitting in a loading unit beneath the tower, rang.
The redhead fell out of his chair, surprised, and tumbled to the ground.
Swearing, he pulled himself together and crawled back to his desk to get the phone.

"Yes? What is it?", he mumbled moodily into the mouthpiece.

He heard Mello's voice from the living room, just as another all-too-familiar voice spoke on the phone.

"Maaaatt? What happened?"

"Matt, is that you? This is Near..."

Matt grimaced, his face looking as though he just bit into a lemon. He moved a little bit to the left to see if Mello was on his way over to him again.
But Mello just sat on the sofa with his legs crossed, yawning as he scratched his ass and called again, "Maaaaaatt?" without turning away from the television "Phooooone..."

"Is that Mello in the background? Matt, are you still there?"

Matt sank back on his ass and then lied down on his backside, slamming the bedroom door shut with his feet.

"Yeah, I'm here..." he sighed in the phone. "What's up?"

The line clicked twice. Matt waited. Then...

"Near?"

"Yes, I... I just wanted to hear, how you are...?"

Frowning, he lolled his head to the side and looked at the dusty chair leg.

"Fine," Matt said slowly. "Why do you ask? And where did you get this number?"

"From your advertisement," Near answered honestly. "I didn't think that you two would sink that low..."

Matt closed his eyes, counted to ten mentally, and forced himself to breath calmly.

"You called to have phone sex?"

"I—No! Of course not... but your 'names' were written in there, so I thought that I would call you... Hm, do have enough to eat?"

"What the fuck, Near? Of course we have enough here!", Matt said angrily. "The advertisement isn't from us, you brainless little—"

"Yes, I thought so, too", the younger one interrupted, not noticing his irritation. "And... well, what are you eating for lunch?"

Groaning, Matt rolled on his side and began to paw at the chair leg.

"Not that I have to answer, but noodles, for your information. Now—"

"Oh, noodles. I also like to eat them," Near interrupted again. "I always put butter and sugar on them, that's delicious. Do you have butter and sugar? ... Matt? Did you hear? ... Matt?"

Matt held the phone away from him and stared at it with disbelief, before pushing the red button and fishing the batteries out of the phone.

He finally stood up clumsily and scuffled to the door, opening it and going into the living room to Mello, where he sat himself next him on the couch and leaned his head against his shoulder.
Almost immediately, the blonde began to play with wisps of his red hair, without turning his view away from the television.
Matt closed his eyes and stifled a yawn.

"If you want, you can show me that trick you were talking about..."

Mello looked down and smiled.

-end-

Mjah... still alive? -lol-
Another piece of crack, hope you're not braindead now. Thanks for reading!
Lum-