When Morning Comes by: Jessica
I can hear his breath. Steady and relaxed. I only wish I could fell the same. Is he not worried like I am? Does he know what is at stake here? Does he even care? Does he know how scared I am? So scared that our friendship will be over as soon as that morning sun rises and we are faced with the realty of what happened here tonight. Does he know how confused I am over all of this? How my head is spinning with thoughts and words that we're shared between us. How each time I think about the first time our lips met I get tingles all down my spine. Does he know how much that night meant to me? What did it mean to him, if anything? Does he know how scared I am to ask him that question? So scared that he'll tell me it was nothing more then a one-night stand. And be done with me before he even got started. And what it would be like to here him say it meant nothing? Could I take it? Could I just simply discard every feeling I feel for him, even though they are so strong?
Believe it or not. Those are the last things on my mind as I lay here, in the arms of my best friend. What scares me the absolute most is that we'll never be the same again. That we won't be able to talk like we use to. That he'll stop coming to me for advice. That I'll be too afraid or feel to awkward to come to him. That we won't hang out anymore. Both thinking it's to hard to deal with our feelings for each other. Even though I know they are there. I could tell by the way he looked at me, held me, kissed me, and the way he would softly whisper words of love into my ear as me made love. I can't even think what my life would be like if he weren't there with me. Even if it was just as friends, and not as lovers. That I could handle, though it would be extremely hard not to want to kiss or touch him every time I saw him. But I know I can't live without him. So if that's what it comes down to. That we are to scared what a relationship would do to our friendship that things would never be the same. I'd be willing to brush all my feelings aside for him; I would do it in a heartbeat. As long as I still had him as my best friend. There isn't anything I wouldn't give up for him. Not one thing in this world do I value more then his friendship.
My thoughts are interrupted as I feel him stir in his sleep, and then feel his arms wrapped around me tighten as he pulls me closer to him. I feel his gentle hand caress my bare back and it send chills down my spine. Then his lips on my cheek then my mouth. I try to hide my smile but know I am failing miserably. As I feel his soft lips against my mouth again I can't do anything but respond back to his loving kiss. He smiles when realizes that I am awake and says, " I can't believe this is happening." I smile as I caress his cheek and say," Me neither" I lean into kiss him but his face suddenly turns serious. "Mon…" he begins but stops as he looks down then up again. I see the uncertainty in his eyes as I meet his gaze. "I'm scared." I smile back at him somewhat relieved that I'm not the only one scared what this night of lovemaking will do to our friendship. "I know" I reply back. "I am too." I notice a smile suddenly form on his lips as he lets out a sigh of relief. "You don't know how good it feel s to hear you say that." I smile and reply "No, you don't know how good it feels to hear your scared too, I haven't been able to sleep at all night because I'm so scared what will happen when morning comes." "Oh. Mon." he says as I feel his soft and gentle touch upon my cheek. I close my eyes and soak in his touch, fearing that this may be the last time I feel it. "I don't really know what is going to happen with this, but what I do know is that you never ever have to worry about what is going to happen to us if this doesn't work out. Because no matter what I'll always be there for you, no matter what you are going through you can always come to me for anything. Honey you're my best friend, and I can't imagine what I would do without you, and I don't want to." I smile widely at his words of need for me to be in his life, and lean up and kiss him tenderly on the mouth. "You know what?" I say as I pull him closer to me. "Why don't we forget about all that stuff for now. We can deal with it when the time comes, tomorrow morning. All I want is to be with you now, nothing else." I spot a smile from his mouth appear and his kisses my cheek loving." "There is nothing else I'd rather do." I smile as he leans in a kisses my mouth, so sweet and lovingly. We made love into the early hours of the morning and fell asleep tightly encircled in each other's arms. This time I had no problem getting to sleep. Because I knew that no matter what became of our relationship, I'd always have him by my side as my best friend. And any problems we would go through, we'd be going through them together. And I know that us being together we could conquer anything.