40 Ways to Annoy Carlisle
Have every nurse at the hospital hit on him
Take away his Mercedes
Go to Esme Island to find the house in pieces
Freeze all of his accounts
Subscribe him to a Voyeuristic magazine
Don't let him have sex
Make Jasper make him feel hornier than ever before
Have Esme flaunt herself
Take Esme away
Send him to a fake Doctor's convention...in Texas
Make him watch Legally Blonde over and over again
Send him three porn movies in the mail...all about men...
Have the flight attendants initiate him into the Mile High Club
Make the tending nurses call him Dr. McSteamy
Cut the butt out of all of his pants
Tear up and burn his medical books
Melt down his ring
Have Emmett give him pointers on how to have "good" sex
Have Emmett chant demonic chants in his room
Burn a replica of his father's cross
Make him think it was the actual cross
Hold a baseball game while he's at work, but forget to tell him about it
Have Bella hurt herself
Make her hit on him
Have Alice and Rose pretend to have crushes on him
Have Emmett and Jasper leave him creepy love notes in his coat
Make Esme pretend to be mad at him...for no reason
Dye his hair purple
Have Alice replace his clothes with Monk robes
Have him spend an entire week with only Emmett to talk to
Introduce him to World of Warcraft...on the computer
Lock him in a room with insane people...in straight jackets
See what heroine does to vampires by testing it on him
Give him a whole bottle of Viagra (does it really enhance?)
Make him eat Chitins
Put him in the center of a redneck bar...after Alice dressed him up as a drag queen
Make him go crowd surfing
Make him jump off of the Empire State Building when nobody's looking
Make the family go on vacation
Make him stay home to work