Stupid Cupid

Chapter 1: Tongue-Tied

Neil loved Valentine's Day. He loved the chocolates, and he loved the way he could like himself and nobody would care. Every year, friends giggled and whispered about who they were going to present flowers to, or who was going to kiss whom. This year was no different. As he stood putting his books into his locker, he heard Jay snickering at Archie's pathetic attempt to ask Atlanta to dinner.

"Hey, Atlanta…" he began. The redheaded huntress smiled patiently. This was the tenth time he had tried to talk to her, and the tenth time he had blushed and become tongue-tied. Her hazel eyes probed him intently, and he had to look away. "Never mind."

Atlanta rolled her eyes, frustrated. "You kept me here for ten minutes for a never mind?" she snapped. "Now I'm going to be late for class."

Theresa walked up behind her, smirking. "Yeah right. Not with how fast you can run."

Atlanta glared at her. "That wasn't the point," she stressed. "I have a test today." She ran a hand through her short red hair anxiously, and then sped off down the halls.

Theresa grinned at Archie, who was staring after her forlornly. "Arch, if you're going to ask her out, you need some pointers. I'd be glad to help."

"I don't need help," Archie muttered, but Jay and Herry's suppressed snorts stated otherwise. "Fine," he mumbled, and then started off for class.

"Are you really going to give him pointers on how to ask a girl out?" Odie asked, laughing. Theresa nodded. "You guys can come to, if you want," she said, glancing slyly at Jay, who rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably and grinned sheepishly.

The others could feel the sparks, and thought it was the best time to leave. "Well, see ya," Neil announced. "Got a session with Ms. Aphrodite and you know I hate being late for class…"

He marched away, and Herry ambled along after him, Odie in tow. Theresa and Jay quickly collected their books and hurried off to their next classes.

Cronus hated Valentine's Day. For him, it was a time of love and peace. But as usual, it was also a time when he could spoil the fun time with a little chaos. This year, he didn't need Eros to do his dirty work for him. He would simply get one of Eris' golden apples. He grinned. She had always been his favourite niece. He chuckled; once the girls saw this golden apple, they would be fighting amongst themselves for it, leaving the boys helpless!"

Archie stood at Theresa's door, unsure whether or not to knock or just go in. Suddenly the door opened, and Theresa stood there in a tank top and cut off jeans. "You could have come in," she said, smiling. "You've been standing there for ten minutes."

Archie shrugged and entered her room, noting the peaceful light green walls and the dream catcher in her window. She leaped gracefully onto her bed, sitting atop it cross-legged. She motioned him to take a seat. He sat down opposite her, clambering to sit comfortably. "Now," she began. "If you want to ask her out, you can't stammer like a drunk! You need to be poised, focused, and in charge of your actions! You need to slick, calm, and hot." She stared at his purple hair disapprovingly. "That hair is so not hot, Arch."

"Says you," he muttered hotly. "I don't even know why I agreed to this in the first place."

Theresa gritted her teeth in annoyance. "You agreed because you want to ask Atlanta out without blushing, biting your tongue, or looking like a total dork, right?"

"That just about sums it up," he said sarcastically.

"Okay, stop arguing! I could be doing something fun, like shopping, or going to the movies with Jay, Herry, Odie, and Neil, but no! I decided to help you!" her eyes flashed. She leaned towards him, eyes sparkling dangerously. "So you'd better be happy!"

At that moment Atlanta walked by, peeking in Theresa's open doorway. What she saw made her heart jump into her throat. Theresa was leaning towards Archie, and it looked as though they were about to kiss! She turned away and quickly rushed down the hall to her room, hardly believing what her eyes had seen. But then her jealousy and anger took over her, and she was determined not to let Theresa get her Archie, ever!

That night Archie fell into bed, exhausted. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and tried to fall asleep. Theresa had given him a headache from all the information she had told him. "You have to find your inner calm," she had said, and encouraged him to meditate.

"What does this have to do with anything?" he asked. She had rolled her eyes exasperatingly.

"You have to find your calm if you're going to practice asking Atlanta out without getting flustered," she had explained.

Archie groaned and rolled over, trying not to forget everything, but trying to fall asleep.

Jay sat at the kitchen table, drinking a glass of orange juice before retiring to bed when Theresa came and collapsed into a chair, pouring herself a glass of water. She drank thirstily, then sat back and sighed.

"Busy night?" Jay asked. "How'd it go with Archie?"

Theresa moaned. "Don't mention that name! He was such a pain! I don't know how much actually sank in, so I'm continuing my 'tutoring' of him tomorrow."

Jay shook his head, grinning. "That's our Archie, always messing things up."

"That's an understatement. So… what do you have planned for us, I mean, the gang of course on Valentine's Day? Are we all going to go to a movie or what?"

"I'm not sure yet, but if you have any ideas, I'm open for them."

Theresa furrowed her brow. "I'll think of something," she promised. "I don't want a dance. They're a bit too boring. I want to go somewhere romantic, just the team. Anyway, I'll get back to you on it." She got up to leave, placing her glass in the sink. "Oh, and Jay, are you sure you don't want any of my advice?" she asked sweetly, winking mischievously. Jay gulped and blushed.

"Uhhh…"

Theresa grinned. "Guys, you're all the same." Then she turned and strode out of the kitchen to bed.