What bothered Chloe the most was the fact that the gang, her friends, clearly liked Rae more than they liked her. Scratch that. What bothered her most was the fact that it made sense that the gang clearly liked Rae more than they liked her.
But it hurt. It really fucking hurt. It hurt that Izzy wouldn't have batted an eye if Chloe had declared she couldn't go to the rave, it hurt that Chop hasn't given her some stupid nickname, it hurt that she couldn't just pull Archie aside to talk about god knows what, and it hurt that Finn didn't look at her the way he always seemed to look at Rae.
"It isn't fair," she muttered to herself knowing exactly how bratty she sounded. But why wasn't she allowed to be a brat? Why wasn't she allowed to be selfish? Why could she not be a complete and utter bitch all the time? It seemed people thought she was. Rae certainly did.
No. That was a lie. Rae didn't think that about her, for some reason. Even though Chloe had been a shit friend. A really shit friend. Yet Rae didn't think that about her. Somehow.
She knew she should be a better friend to Rae, to the girl who put up with, well, everything. But Rae could be just as shitty a friend at times. Hell, she could be a shittier friend. She didn't care about half of what Chloe had to say, she was judgemental, she was rude and sometimes she plain shut Chloe out of her life without rhyme or reason.
Maybe they deserved each other, her and Rae, two shit friends up against the world. Except it wasn't just them anymore, it was Chop and Izzy and Archie and Finn. As much as she loved her friends sometimes she longed for the old days, for the days when her and Rae did everything together and it was only ever the two of them. But she was the one who decided to change that, not Rae.
She was the one who decided to give in to what was expected of her, just like always. She meant what she said when she told Rae she didn't know what it was like to walk into a room and have everyone stare. Because, yes, people stared at Rae, of course they did. But not in the same way. People didn't analyze Rae's every move like they did Chloe's. It may sound awful but people didn't care what Rae did. That is, no one really knows her name, do they? No one actually knows who she is. It's just that Rae doesn't understand what it's like to have all these expectations forced upon you all of the time.
Even now she has to go to the pub and plaster on a smile, laugh at Chop's antics and gossip with Izzy because that's what people expect isn't it? And she has to do what people expect. She always has and she wouldn't want to break the habit now would she? 'Course not. She's Chloe fucking Gammell always doing what's expected of her.
Except people don't expect much of her, do they? Not really. What do they expect? That she's stupid, slutty, not going anywhere, a future trophy wife, incapable of thought. Well, that's really encouraging, isn't it?
Still, she goes along with it, she does exactly what people think she will. That's why she walks into the bar, plops down next to Izzy, twirls a strand of hair in her fingers and asks what she's missed.
Because that's what's fucking expected.