This little piece is just something I've written for ChocoMG2112. She sends me yummy Davey Havok pics, and treats me with even yummier pics of Tom Hiddleston. We both have a crazy love for the band AFI. I wrote this while listening to The Embrace. So yeah, this is for her. I am so glad to call her a friend. I do hope she likes.

And to my readers, I am slowly getting back into writing. I have new chapters I am working on for AHB. One I am hoping to have posted soon. I also have 3 more stories in the works. I'm slowly getting my writing mojo back. Thanks for being patient. I do hope you like this as well.

~.~

Epov

I often wondered from the moment you slipped out the door if your heart shattered like mine did after your words? Your last words to me still float around in my head and stab my heart each time I remember. And trust me, love, I remember.

Did you notice when your words cut me and stabbed my heart as I fell to floor? Do you feel regret? Do you hurt like I do?

I hope you do. I hope you suffer as I do, day in and day out.

Do you dream? If you do, is it of me? Are they haunted, like mine?

I wish you'd walk back through that door and see this creation of yours. You placed this black filled abyss inside me. I want you to feel what I feel and drown in it just as I much as I do

It follows me day in and day out.

Through my waking hours.

Even in my sleep, if I do sleep, its there. It's always there.

Those words inflicted so much hurt. How could just a few words make me crumble and fall apart?

They came from you, that is why.

You blindsided me, but to be honest I should have seen it coming.

I saw our world disintegrating before me, and I could have stopped it had I tried. I thought if I knew it was falling apart that maybe that would help the hurt not be so bad. But never once did I think it would ever be like this.

It's been days, maybe weeks since you've left, and all I want to do is take all the ribbons and strings that once bound us together and pull them tight, as tight as I can, and hope that I can mend this, fix what we were.

But those words.

You can't take them back, and I can't forget them. And so the hurt lingers and festers inside me.

I am not okay, I know that. And yet I want you to suffer, suffer as I do. Hurt and feel as I do. I want you to be just as miserable, maybe even more miserable than I am.

Is that wrong of me? Does that make me a bad person? I don't think it does. What you said, what you did, makes you the bad person in all of this.

But then I wonder again. I wonder if it was something I said or did to make you leave, hurling those words at me as you walked out the door.

Is this blackness of my own making?

But then I get pissed off all over again and hate you even more. You caused this. It was all you.

I should take some of the blame in our demise. Or at least that is what something deep down is telling me.

I want to stay mad at you and wallow in my hurt, the hurt you caused. But I know I need to move on somehow, someway.

Is it bad I hope you haven't moved on either?

I roll over, surveying my room, noticing all the holes in the wall due to my punching them shortly after you left. I thought it would make my anger dissipate and make me feel better, but I think it made a new emotion rise to the surface.

Shame.

Shame for how acted. Shame for taking it out on my walls, and shame for letting you get to me as you did all those days. Months even.

It's been a year, Bella.

A whole year, and I can finally say your name.

A whole year and the hurt still grows inside of me.

Its been a year and it feels as if it had happened yesterday.

A year.

I've lost a year.

A whole fucking year in this blackness.

Somehow I managed to go through my days like a zombie, doing what I had to do get through. But the hurt and blackness overtook me.

I'm still here, and yet, you are nowhere.

I need you here. I always needed you here.

I get up, take a shower, and get dressed.

I grab my keys, making a rare escape from my house.

I go to the corner coffee shop, one that we used to frequent.

And I hope, I hope that I will see you.

And then I wish, I wish you will see me, too.

But as I walk in and breathe in the smell of freshly brewed coffee, I close my eyes, afraid to look and see if my hopes and wishes came true.

But you're not there.

You are nowhere.

I order and sit down, my back facing the door and window. I sit there, slowly sipping my coffee and reading the paper as I hope and wish some more. For you. For me. For everything.

And as I send the last of my hopes and wishes while I finish my coffee, I go over you walking out the door again, me falling to the floor, punching it in agony, and me laying there for days. And while I think of the memories, I sense a change, a good change.

I stand to throw away my cup and turn to walk out.

And then I see you, and we embrace.

~.~

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. I may expand it. Please let me know If you want more. Like I said, I am slowly getting back into working on all of my stories. Real life and my creative mojo has been making it hard to get the words out. Thank you for being understanding.

If you would like the lyrics to the song The Embrace by AFI: .

And if you would love to listen to this song, you can find it here: watch?v=trgR8_ARPcw