A/N: I was not sure if I should put this in the Scrubs section or leave it here. Tell me if you I should put it somewhere else. Kthxbai. (Takes place pre-Keith)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight OR Scrubs! Surprising, ain't it?

JD's POV

Dr Kelso had paged me, Elliot, Dr Cox, Turk, and Carla, into meeting us at CoffeeBucks to tell us some important news about some new doctor joining our staff. Dr Cox, of course, never really cared about this sort of thing, and this occasion was not different. He brooded in his seat, taking casual sips of a latte while Turk and I tried to start a game of 'Find the Saltine'. Dr Kelso waited patiently for Turk and I to stop playing.

"Okay… I'm going to make this short, but I want to tell you that we are getting a new doctor on the staff today. He was supposed to meet us here, but I guess he was a little late, or he forgot. Anyway, I want you guys to make him as welcome as possible. Please, oh please, don't do anything stupid. He is said to be a very good doctor, and I don't want to lose him!" Kelso glared at his watch and murmured to himself, almost inaudibly, "Where is Carlisle…?"

"Carlisle?! That's such an old people name! Totally about to give up all hope of flirti—" Elliot started, but then her attention turned toward the opening door.

Carla and Elliot's jaws dropped, and I felt my hands grab the edge of the table.

"He's lovely…" Carla mumbled, causing Turk to whisper "Baby!"

Tall, blond, extremely pale, soft golden eyes. Looked to be in his 20s.

Movie star gorgeous.

"Hello, everyone. Sorry, I'm late," the new doctor smiled, showing off his perfect teeth.

And he was British.

"Would you like some caramel macchiato? They're really good here," Dr Kelso began to stand up.

"No, thanks. I just ate," the blond doctor smiled again.

I was beginning to go into a reverie starring caramel macchiatoes as movie stars when I smelled a familiar salty scent. Turk had found the saltine.

"I FOUND THE SALTINE!" Turk announced to everyone, getting up from his chair and beginning to dance.

"JD told me that you guys stopped playing that game a long time ago," Elliot smirked turning toward me for an explanation.

Turk and I glanced at each other nervously while I slipped the cracker in my pocket, "Yeah… well, that's what we wanted you to think so we started playing again 'cause…" I could feel Dr Kelso staring at me, not wanting to make a bad impression on the new doctor.

Kelso cleared his throat, "Ladies and gentlemen… and JD… I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of the Sacred Heart staff. Dr Carlisle Cullen."

Elliot waved flirtatiously and smiled. I wanted to, too.

"Carlisle this Dr Perry Cox, Dr Christopher Turkelton—"

"My last name is Turk—!"

"Dr Elliot Reid, Nurse Carla Espinosa Turkelton—"

"Doc! I'm tellin' you…"

"And Dr John 'JD' Dorian."

Dr Cullen greeted us all politely. I could tell that Dr Cox really hated him. Carla and Elliot were probably going to have a fight over him soon. And I had a really strong feeling that the Todd will also try to wear a banana hammock.

Turk and I will probably hunt for more saltines. It'll all work out good in the end.

After a short routine welcome speech, interrupted by Dr Cox several times with unnecessary remarks, Dr Kelso dismissed us from the meeting.

Dr Cullen gentlemanly brushed off an extremely eager Elliot to come over to talk to Turk and me. We were talking about tonight's rerun of 'Sanford & Son' on Nick at Nite.

"Quiet, Chocolate Bear, we have an intruder in our midst," I tried to sound important.

"Oh, I'm sorry. JD, is it?" smiled Dr Cullen.

"Yes, also known as Vanilla Bear," I returned smartly.

"And you're Christopher? Most people call you 'Chris', though, I'm sure."

"No, they call me Turk," Turk extended his hand to wards Carlisle, "I think I'm going to call you… 'Snow Bear'."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. SNOW BEAR?!?!?! Seriously, Turk… I thought.

"Well, can you think of another food, JD? One that's white?"

"How did you—Edward?" Carlisle, stepped back a little.

"Oh, I can just tell what JD's thinking sometimes. 'Cause we're best friends, of course," Turk explained nonchalantly, "Whose Edward?"

"Edward is my…son. He has a…best friend, too," Carlisle said cautiously.

Turk and I looked at each other, silently questioning Carlisle's comment.

"Whipped Cream Bear!" I exclaimed, flailing my arms at my sides.

Carlisle grinned, and from that moment on I accepted him as part of the 'Bear' club.

"Drs. Turkleton and Dorian, I expect that you are helping Dr Cullen familiarizing himself with the hospital and its facilities," snickered Dr Kelso as he walked by us.

"Of course!" I shouted after him.

The three of us walked to the front desk. Laverne handed me a patient file. Turk went off to go hang out with the Todd or go to the OR. Carlisle followed me to the room of my new patient, a boy by the name of Bobby Lee.

"'ey Bobmeister! What's up?" I slid into the room, making a grand entrance.

Carlisle and Bobby looked at me at the same time. Carlisle placed a hand over his mouth in an attempt to suppress a laugh.

"Hi," Bobby squeaked.

"I'm Dr. Dorian, and this is my coworker, Dr. Cullen."

"Hello, Robert," Carlisle nodded.

"Bobby. It's Bobby," Bobby corrected politely.

"So, it seems that you have a sore throat that has taken a turn for the worse, eh?" I smiled at Bobby.

He nodded.

"I was going to take a throat culture, but I'll let my assistant do that," I winked at Dr Cullen, who took the hint.

He reached for one of those poke-y Popsicle sticks of joy, when Bobby started to have a violent cough, causing him to spit up some blood.

Carlisle dropped the stick and backed up toward the door, turned around, and left.

I could have sworn his eyes were black.

A/N: Yeah, I'm not good at writing first chapters, but I finally finished it. This is supposed to be a humor fic, and I promise it will get funnier. The end of this chapter was not how I expected it to be, but, with my copies of The Taming of the Shrew, Romeo & Juliet, As You Like It, and A Midsummer Night's Dream on my desk as my witnesses, this shall be an amazing humor fic!