A/N: Attention Readers! This is intended to follow chapter 40 in my story Royal Squire. If you are reading this and have not yet read the story, I cannot guarantee you'll understand it completely. This story has explicit content which is why it is rated M. If you are worried you are missing information by not reading this part, you are simply missing some fluff. No worries. You can return to the story without worries. As always, recognizable character Faleron belongs to Tamora Pierce, Gwen is a creation of my own imagination.
Faleron wasn't tipsy as he brought Gwen back to her rooms, but she could tell he was feeling the effects of the wine that he had drunk for both of them. His hand that had been wrapped around her waist wandered down over her hip and thigh as they walked and once inside of the sitting room with the door closed he pinned her to the wall for the passionate kisses he clearly had been wanting to give her. His hands were on her hips pulling her body against his and pushing her back into the wall at the same time. Then a hand was in her hair pulling at the pins that she had so meticulously placed that afternoon. The first one fell to the floor and she pushed him back a little, meaning to retrieve it.
"Don't," he caught her and pushed her back to the wall. He offered no explanation as his lips moved to the skin that stretched under her ear and jawline. He had never kissed her there before and she was surprised to feel a tingling sensation travel through her body with each time his lips and tongue pressed against the sensitive flesh. Then he was pushing her head back, exposing more of the skin along her neck for his lips to explore. She gasped as his lips found her throat. The tingling sensation turned to a pleasurable burn that was growing in her stomach. Then they were moving and she was down on the couch with him still pressing his lips over her skin. More pins were falling from her hair to the couch under her head and the floor below. She knew it was silly to think that she'd be searching for them in the morning when his hands were tugging at the ties on her bodice.
"Gwen," he breathed out her name. "Tell me to stop," he whispered. It seemed like an odd request. It wasn't that he asked her to tell him when to stop, when she would no longer be comfortable, when she no longer felt ready, or when she was scared. It was simply to tell him to stop, and she didn't want him to stop. She guessed where this was going. Yes, she was nervous but no, she wasn't going to stop him. "I need to hear you say it," he whispered again as his lips moved from her throat down to the more exposed part of her chest.
"No," she gasped. "I w—want, oh Goddess," his hands finished unlacing the bodice, exposing her chest and his lips moved to her breast. Then Faleron shifted and she felt his body slip sideways. His hand caught her hip, she guessed he meant to try and catch himself using her body, but instead he pulled her down on top of him as he fell to the floor.
"I suppose the couch isn't the best place for this," Faleron grinned up at her as she tried to push herself up off of him while still wedged between the low table that sat in the middle of the seating area for drinks and the couch. His eyes drifted down to the laces pulled free of her gown and the large V that exposed her breast to him. His hands went to her waist and then her whole body lifted until she was set on the couch. "Are you sure you want this?" Faleron asked as he sat up.
"I didn't tell you to stop," she blushed as she said it, not sure why she felt shy suddenly.
"No, the couch sort of helped that along," Faleron sighed as he looked her over. "Let's go back to the bedroom and move slower. If you find you aren't comfortable with what I'm doing, all you have to say is 'stop'." He stood and offered a hand down to her. The moment she let him lift her, he gave her a dashing smile and scooped her up to carry her.
In the bedroom she caught sight of her hair in the mirror half tumbling down her head with pins missing in random places. She broke away from Faleron when he set her down and went to the vanity to start removing the pins properly. He sighed when he saw what she was doing. "If you want me to get stabbed in the head by random pins all night, I'll stop," she told him.
"No, I don't want that. I just don't want to wait either," he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled off his tunic, boots, and stockings.
When the last pin was out she went to join him on the bed, leaving her shoes behind at the vanity. Now that the fall to the floor had sobered Faleron up a little, Gwen wasn't exactly sure how to start whatever had happened in the sitting room back up again. Faleron seemed to be staring at the chair of the vanity lost in thought. Clearly she had to do something to bring him back from his thoughts. She stood and pulled the top of the dress down, meaning to step out of the gown completely but before she could loosen the skirt, Faleron's hands found hers and pulled them back.
"Wait," he told her.
"You don't want to do this anymore?" She asked feeling a bit confused.
"No. Just, let's ease into this. I want you to be completely ready." He pulled her down onto the bed and pressed her back against the pillows and began to kiss her lips sweetly. His hands found hers and his fingers twined between hers. His lips left hers again and slowly they trailed back along her cheekbone, up to her ear where he kept them for a few moments, and then down to the flesh he had assaulted earlier. Now that the heat and surprise was gone, Gwen could focus in on how his lips, tongue, and sometimes his teeth created the tingling sensation that rolled through her body to rest in her lower abdomen. He moved across her neck and jawline to her throat, across to her shoulders, and back across her collarbones. His slow methodical exploration of such a small portion of her body had her silently gasping.
One of his hands left hers and she felt it move down to start to hike her skirt up higher. There was a thrill in the slow moment of the cloth up her legs while his lips continued to move down to her chest. She was surprised that her free hand was moving to the hem of his shirt, not being nearly as slow and gentle as he was as she pulled it up. He stopped kissing her and shifted to remove the shirt for her before he lay down next to her on his side. He pulled her to him and wrapped an arm around her waist to lift her up higher. His lips moved to her breast again, sliding over her nipple with his tongue. She threw her head back involuntarily and gasped.
She felt her skirt moving up again and the anticipation of his touch was driving her crazy. His fingers brushed against her knee and then slowly it began to glide up the inside of her leg. She fought not to squirm. It tickled and yet it felt good but still elicited a flight response from her body. Faleron seemed to become aware that she was battling something and stopped. His hand settled half way up her thigh and he pulled back. When had she been laid flat again?
"Talk to me," he told her when met his eyes.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," she whispered feeling ashamed. "I want this. Really and truly. It feels amazing," she assured him.
"But," he pressed.
"But some instinct is making me want to get away," she bit her lip.
"Then let's slow down a little more," Faleron told her, extracting his hand from under her skirt. She was disappointed to feel it go but knew he was trying to figure out how to make it easier on her. His lips returned to hers and it was just kissing and nothing more. After a while he moved to her breast again and she welcomed the return of the sensation that felt like electricity building in her abdomen. She bit back her moans. Then his hand went to her knee again and the anticipation started again along with the sudden urge to get away.
"Gwen, we can stop if you aren't ready," Faleron pulled back.
"No!" She didn't mean for it to come out so forceful.
"But you clearly aren't ready," he sighed and rolled away from her.
"Fal," she begged. "I want this, please." She had wanted this when they were in the sitting room and Faleron was pinning her back and not completely in control. She half wished that he hadn't fallen off of the couch or that they had gone straight back to the bedroom. If he hadn't had time to think, he might not be this worried about her. It was wonderful that he was worried but the slowness was giving some subconscious worry time to surface and it was ruining things. "Don't go slow."
"What?" Faleron was sitting on the edge of the bed and he looked over at her.
"Don't treat me like some skittish virgin," she was frustrated. Somewhere in the sitting room there had been an ignition of some sort of fire in her and it promised something that she desperately wanted and now he was threatening to withhold it. If she wasn't so frustrated, she would have found a way to be nicer about reasoning with him.
"Gwen, you are a virgin," Faleron informed her. "You may not have your maidenhood but you're as much of a virgin as you were before. And you were raped. I can't forget that. And when you shy away from me when I'm touching you, I can't…" he trailed off and she could hear the frustration in his voice.
"I want this. This is me telling you I want this. I wasn't shying away when you were out there practically mauling me. That happens when you move slow, and…" she found herself pinned back onto the bed with Faleron's tongue in her mouth. There was little sweetness in his kissing as it breathed fire back into her. She wasn't aware he had been working at loosening her skirt until he lifted her hips to pull it down and then off. Her loincloth went next. His fingers moved down over her stomach in a quick decisive movement, over her pelvic bone, and then they were at the intimate area between her legs. She gasped against his lips as he stroked the outside of her private area and then pressed his fingers inside of her.
"What are you thinking?" Faleron whispered pulling back from her.
"What do I do for you? I don't know what to do, it's not something anyone ever taught me," she felt the words rush from her mouth.
"Shh," Faleron stopped her with a kiss, his fingers still working inside of her. Her breathing was erratic and she was sure her heart rate wasn't far behind. There was a strange, wonderful sensation building inside of her. "You'll learn," she felt his grin though her eyes would barely stay open for her to see it. Then suddenly she felt him touch something that made her cry out uncontrollably. "Good?" He asked. She managed to nod. It was not pain that she was feeling that made her lose control. He pressed the spot inside of her again and locked his other arm around her to pull her close. She wasn't sure what sounds were escaping her mouth but the wonderful sensation that had filled her abdomen was bubbling over and spreading through her body to her extremities leaving her feeling warm and tingly all over. It abated and slowly she realized Faleron was no longer touching her down there but was kissing her again. She was shaking and she knew he could feel it. "Better?" She heard him ask and she couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"It certainly wasn't slow," she managed between panting for air.
"Now," he shifted and pulled her closer to him. In the scant moonlight now coming through the window she saw him start to loosen the ties on his breeches. "I know the Convent certainly doesn't teach this," he told her with a quiet chuckle. "Has anyone explained the mechanics to you? I should have asked before but you're so informed on everything else usually I just assumed you knew." She was trying to focus and here he was asking questions that seemed so out of place.
"I know the mechanics of sex," she assured him. "But how to give you pleasure like that…"
"Knowing that I give you pleasure helps a lot there," he informed her. "It certainly arouses me to hear you moaning so," he took her hand and dragged it to him. "I'd tell you to explore but we'll leave that to a time when you aren't so adverse to slow." He guided her hand to pull his breeches down with his loincloth and then over his member which was already stiff. He guided her hand up and down over it for a few strokes and then stopped helping her along. "This is the equivalent for me of what I did for you," he told her, nuzzling her as she took over the movement. "But I'm going to stop you." His hand moved to stop hers and removed it from his member.
"But," she stopped when he shifted on top of her and kneed her legs apart. There was no worry about the pain of losing her maidenhood or the pauses required to help the stretching of muscles she wasn't aware she had. Instead there was only pleasure as Faleron pressed against her entrance and very slowly inched inside of her. She felt the trembling start as his hips met hers.
"Shh, it's okay," he whispered to her. She didn't know why she was trembling. There was nothing but Faleron in her mind. He started the slow rocking motion bringing him to move inside of her. Each stroke was starting to build that fire in her stomach again. He started to pick up the pace and somewhere she realized she was rocking her hips to meet his. The more he picked up the pace the more the sensation grew. She started to moan and wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him down to her. His lips pressed against her for a moment and then he was gone again. Then the sensation was bubbling over again and felt the strength in her body melt away. She became aware of a warmth that was separate from her, inside of her and Faleron's member pulsating inside of her. Then he collapsed on top of her and his lips crashed down onto hers and then over the rest of her face.
She felt her eyes getting heavy as Faleron shifted off of her and pulled the blankets over them. He pulled her to rest against his chest and she could feel his heart racing and hear his breathing struggling to return to normal. Somewhere in her mind, Gwen questioned if she had robbed Faleron of some sort of plan that he had when she had told him not to go slow.
"Stop it," she heard Faleron breathe out.
"Stop what," she shifted to look up at him.
"I can feel you worrying. Cuddling and sleeping. Those are appropriate things to do after making love. Not worrying," he shifted under her and his arms tightened. "Luckily we can do both of those things at the same time."
"What if I'm not tired enough to sleep?" She wondered. She was tired and she could sleep, but he seemed to be in a teaching mood and she could learn for future reference.
"Then," his fingers trailed down over her stomach and to her intimate area again. He began touch her again. "I just have to wear you out more."