'Twas the twilight before Christmas, when all through the home
Not a creature was stirring, not even our cell phones.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Alice soon would be there.
Nessie was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Jacob danced in her head.
And Bella in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just opened her brain for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of midday to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should expire,
But a big yellow porshe and eight giant vampires.
With a little cute driver, so small and petite,
I knew in a moment it must be Jasper's sweet.
More rapid than lions, her buddies they came,
And she whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Emmett! Now Jasper!
Now, Carlisle and Esme!
On, Tanya! On, Irina!
On, Carmen and Kate!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now run away! Run away!
Run away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the by
So up to the garage the coursers they ran,
With the porshe full of clothing, and St. Alice's band.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the barn
The yelling and arguing each of Emmett's darns.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Though the door St. Alice came with a bound.
She was dressed in dress, from her chest to her feet,
And her clothing was all clearly made for the heat.
A bundle of bags she held in her hand,
And looked like she had easily spent a few grand.
Her eyes--how they sparkled! Filled with delight!
She looked at me and smiled, trying to be polite!
Her cute little smile was wide on her face,
And then her eyes quickly scanned the place.
A look of great disappoint came into her eye,
"Where is Bella?" she said with a sigh.
For up the stairs we both heard a groan,
"Come on Bella, please. It's only a phone."
Alice was begging, the sweet little elf.
And I laughed when I heard her, in spite of myself.
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
Soon let me know I had everything to dread.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
Up the stairs she ran, and then with a jerk.
She pulled Bella from our room, and out to the car,
I heard Bella yell, "Not the mall by the bar!"
She revved up the porshe, to her team gave a whistle,
And then away they ran like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, 'ere she drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas Edward, and have a good night!"