"A Toss Up"
Post 7.21. This is my attempt to fix the mess DR made of our favorite couple.
She said no, but she loves him and doesn't want to be without him. He's sacrificed so much for her, now it's her turn.
I don't own Gilmore Girls. If I did she would have said yes.
Walking back up the stairs for what seemed like the umpteenth time you declare, "Okay. Just one more trip."
You can hear your mother behind you.
"NO! I can't. This is why we don't exercise. It's too exhausting."
"Well it wouldn't be so exhausting if we exercised."
"Oh darn your college graduate logic."
Laughing at your mother you let your mind wander. Of course that wouldn't seem like the umpteenth trip if you didn't have Lorelai Victoria Gilmore helping. Self proclaimed "Mrs. Get-Luke-to-Do-it." You now wish you hadn't turned down Paris' offer to help you move. But quickly take it back. Who knows how much time you two have left before you start your real world job. You didn't know that today would be the last day you'd see Logan Huntzberger. If you did you would have made last night count more, so you're determined to not do it again. And in letting your mind wander just those 10 seconds you come back to him. The proposal. The ring. The look on his face as he walked away, and the feeling deep down inside that you just can't shake.
"How you doing hon?"
After a long sigh and your thoughts gathered you finally reply, "I'm definitely not good. I feel awful. I miss him already."
"Aw I know kid."
You manage a weak smile towards your mother as you realize how much she can relate, and how you so wish that thing will work out for her and Luke.
"And it just sucks ya know because I graduated today. This was supposed to be a happy day in my life, and now when I look back on it I'm just going to thing about this horrible thing that happened."
She motions for you to sit down, maybe seeing that you're losing your ground and can't stand much longer.
Legs crossed on the floor she tells you what she thinks.
"I'm sorry, but I think you made the right decision, and I think you'll come to see it's not that horrible."
"You really think so," you ask hopefully. But thinking about it, your last bit of resolve crumbles and you finally let out what you've been holding in all day. The fear that you made the wrong choice, "Because I don't. I think horrible is still coming. Right now I think it's worse. I can't help but think I just made the worst decision of my entire life."
As you sit there crying in your mother's lap, you begin to feel her move. Moving as in sobbing with you. You know she hates to see you hurting, and that's when she admits defeat.
"Well then maybe this is on of the few times Lorelai Victoria Gilmore has been wrong."
"What do I do mom? Can I fix it?" you ask secretly hoping she can fix it for you.
"Oh babe I always told you, you can do anything you set your mind to."
You both share a small smile and as you sit there on the floor with your mother, the day of your graduation, and rejected marriage proposal, you realize exactly what you have to do.
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The next morning you prepare yourself for the week to come. First thing you do is buy your plane ticket to San Francisco, and then you send your resume to the newspapers there. Luckily the Chronicle was hiring and mentions that someone called asking about a job position for you about two weeks ago. You realize he REALLY did his research this time and it breaks your heart a little more. They offer you an interview immediately and you let them know when you'll be getting into town.
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Bright and sunny, beautiful California seemed so Logan you realize on your way to the interview. He always was just a beach bum…without the beach.
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Walking out of the building you think how well that interview went. You grab a piece of paper out of your pocket. It's the address to Logan's new office. He emailed it to you asking that you send anything extra of his back to him. The Email. It was like a hard blow to the stomach, but you realized that his words weren't bitter or meant to be hurtful. But he knew you. He knew you had his leather jacket, because he forgot it in Stars Hollow, and he probably knew that you felt tears come to your eyes every time you looked at it, which is why Lorelai put it in her closet. He hated to make you cry. That's all he wanted. For you to not cry, to be happy.
You glance down at your watch to check the time.
6 o'clock!
Time really got away from you in that meeting. You rush to his office to catch him before he leaves.
Arriving on the third floor of his building, you can see his office door as the elevator doors open. Walking up to his secretary, an older woman probably about 50 or so, you take a deep breath. When you speak you notice how shaky your voice sounds. The woman offers a smile and politely tells you how Mr.Huntzberger just left for the day, and you so wished you would have called to check. The tears burn your cheeks as they fall and you can't help but wonder if this is a sign of fate. Maybe he's not here because you're not supposed to see him and make up. You're supposed to stay broken up.
"Don't cry honey. You have a beautiful smile." She says as she hands you a tissue. And suddenly you're confused because you don't think your mouth has even threatened to let out a smile since you stepped foot into this office. So you ask, "Pictures? What Pictures?"
"Mr. Huntzberger has two pictures of you on his desk."
"If you don't mind me asking, what are they of?"
"Well when I asked about them he said one was taken at Martha's Vineyard, and the other is from his graduation."
And for the first time a small smile does play at your lips and you think out loud, "Those were his favorites."
The older woman offers you a smile and let's you know he'll be back in the morning at 8, and as you slowly turn around you realize fate isn't keeping you apart. Slowing you down perhaps but not keeping you apart.
"Rory?"
Then again. Maybe fate thinks you work a little too slow.
"What are you doing here?" You realize how quickly the words left your mouth. It seems angry but really you're just shocked. He's here. In the same State, same city, same building, less than 10 feet away from you and when he's near you have trouble thinking. Your mind becomes hazy.
"Um, well I kind of work here."
"Oh that right."
"And I forgot my briefcase."
Briefcase. In one swift moment you can see how far he's come. 3 years ago that was almost a four letter word to Logan Huntzberger, but now it's just part of his everyday life.
It's him that breaks the silence first.
"You were right."
For a second you're not sure what he means. I was right? About breaking up? Just when I think fates on my side again.
"About what?"
"Those are still my favorite pictures."
You smile for the second time in his office as you begin to hint at why you're really here.
"You know what would be a better picture?"
He doesn't say anything. Maybe he's afraid of what will come next.
"Me in a beautiful white dress with my mom, Lane, and Honor next to me as bridesmaids, and you on the other side with Colin, Finn, and Josh as Groomsmen. Although I'm not sure how you'll pick your best man. Colin seems like the safer bet. Less likely to lose the ring and he'll actually get you to the ceremony."
As you go on about what can be your future with him you try to read him. His eyes. They always gave him away. He was wearing his poker face, and Logan was VERY good at poker.
Finally he speaks, "What are you saying Rory?"
That was as far as you'd gotten before when you dreamt this conversation. You didn't know how he'd react so now you quickly search for the right words, and then you realize he's already said them.
"I'm saying that you amaze me Logan Huntzberger, everyday- everything that you do, everything that you are. I don't know a lot, but I know that I love you and I want to be with you…forever."
Well there's an expression now at least. Shock. He doesn't know what to say. You think because he doesn't want to say the wrong thing.
"I want to believe you Rory, but what if you wake up next week thinking you're not ready again? What if you run? I can't take this Rory. I love you, but I won't be thrown around."
If you had time you would have smiled when he said I love you, but you start speaking right as he finishes.
"And I don't want to throw you around. You have fought for me for almost three years. Now it's my turn to fight. I love you. I want you. I need you. You said you wanted it to be like when we jumped together. I wanna jump. You jump, I jump Jack. I'm not saying I'm ready to fly to Vegas right this very moment Logan, but when I see myself walking down an aisle, I see you at the end waiting for me."
"It's a coin toss." He says it so quiet, you almost didn't hear it, and you're wishing you didn't. How can he leave the future up to a coin?
"A coin toss?! I'm pouring my heart out here trying to save our relationship and you're going to leave our future to heads or tails?"
He smiles. You wonder if today is his first time to smile here too.
"That's how we choose the first best man. A coin toss. And then we'll take turns."
Suddenly you feel silly as you say almost as quietly as he did, "A coin toss."
"I want you to be happy here Ace. I want you to get a job you love, I-"
"I already had an interview at the Chronicle. Thanks for putting in a good word by the way. I'm think the interview went really well. They're supposed to call me tomorrow."
"Wow, so this is really serious?"
"Yeah this is serious."
He walks towards you now. Closing the distance, he opens his hand to you and says, "Then I guess you should have this back." You didn't even see him get it out and you wonder when he did. Was it before the I love you? Was it when he saw you?
"I wasn't joking before about the house and everything. I still have it if you want it."
You smile again. It seems like you just can't stop today.
"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's go make some guacamole."
Oh I hope you liked it! I don't know if I did but this idea has been in my head since I watched the episode!
Oh yeah and if you can name where I got this quote I'll give you a million dollars. Ok well not really. BUT I will say good job!
"I think horrible is still coming. Right now it's worse."
If you figure it out, you're AMAZING. Haha