He opened the door to their apartment, tossing his keys onto the counter as he took a deep breath at the silence that's been there for the last couple of months. It wasn't always like that. For as long as he could remember, they've been happy. Their almost-one-year marriage had been filled with the most beautiful memories up until a few months back when suddenly everything went downhill. He couldn't remember the last time they sat down and had an actual conversation, let alone the last time he's actually seen her. Just as he was lost in his thoughts, he heard her fumble with her keys from the other side of the door cursing slightly when she struggled to get it right.
"Hey", he told her faintly as she appeared in front of him.
"H-hey", she stuttered as if she was surprised to see him home. She looked beautiful. He always thought she did even when she was extremely tired and had spent the entire day at work, she managed to look her usual beautiful self.
"Late surgery?", he asked her softly not wanting to seem as if he was interrogating her. That's what things have gotten to. He felt like he was walking on eggshells whenever he talked to her.
"Yeah", she said immediately. "I'm.. going to bed".
"Do you want me to fix you something to eat?", he asked her hoping she'd say yes.
"I had dinner at the hospital. Thanks anyway". He heard her say nervously as she avoided making eye contact with him at all costs.
"Can we.. talk, Mer?".
At that she turned to face him with an unpleased face letting out a soft sigh of annoyance. "Can it wait till tomorrow? I'm - uh - really tired, Derek".
"It actually can't", he replied bluntly gathering up all the courage he's been shoving away for the past months. "I think it's time we talk about this. Us. What's been going on with us lately?".
"What has been going on?", she asked pretending she didn't notice that their marriage has fallen apart.
"Seriously, Mer?", he told her, his anger starting to show. "Have you not noticed we haven't been meeting for the past three months? This is the first time we talked in weeks! We're never home at the same time, we don't sleep in the same bed, dammit I can't even remember the last time we had sex!", he shouted.
"We've been busy. Shit happens, Derek. Calm down", she replied calmly as if she didn't give a fuck.
"What the hell has gotten into you?", he asked almost disgustingly. "What is wrong with you?".
He stared at her waiting for an answer but failed to receive one. She looked at the floor emotionlessly as she fumbled with her watch trying to come up with something to say.
"I think we should get a divorce", he heard her say with not a single hint of regret in her voice. She still didn't look him in the eyes or even bother to give him an explanation.
"W-what?", he asked her shockingly calmness restoring in his voice. "Mer.. What are you talking about?".
"I think it's best if we just.. end this", she replied finally looking him in the eyes but immediately looking away. "Let's just end this misery".
"N-no.. no", he stuttered. "We don't give up. Not without trying at least".
"What's there to try, Derek?", she snapped. "You said it yourself we don't see each other, we don't talk, we don't- this is not what a marriage looks like! Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe we got ourselves into this commitment way too fast. It doesn't mean we should stay in it".
"So you want go get a divorce as soon as we have our first problem?", he asked her sarcastically. "Marriages are not supposed to be perfect, Meredith! You're supposed to fight to make them work!".
"Well maybe I don't have it in me to fight", she shrugged leaving him speechless behind.
He had to be dreaming. This couldn't possibly be happening. He was pretty sure he was having a nightmare and he hated every second of it.
"You don't get to do that!", she heard him say from the other room.
He came into her sight as she put out one of her bags and started filling
it with her clothes. "What the hell are you doing?", he asked angrily.
"I'm packing some stuff for the night", she sighed. "I'll pass by tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff".
"No", he insisted furiously, putting out the clothes out of her suitcase.
"Derek just let me be!".
"No!", he shouted. "You're my wife. You don't get to spend the night out. Not like this!".
"Since when do you care where I spend the night?", she said, anger becoming very apparent in her voice. "I've spent half of the past month in the hospital or at Alex's, you didn't care back then!".
"You didn't ask me for a divorce back then dammit!", he snapped back his voice choking at the thought of the divorce.
She could hear his voice starting to shake and his body starting to shudder. She hated every second of it. She hated making him suffer but for a while is better than forever, she thought. Her heart ached so bad at the sight of him staring helplessly at her hoping she would stay with him. After all he was the love of her life. She loved him with every bit of her heart but apparently that was not enough to make them happy together.
"I'm sorry, Der", she said breaking down into tears herself as she came closer to him resting her hand on his wet cheek. "I don't wanna hurt you".
He held both her hands resting his forehead on hers. "Then don't leave. Give us another chance", he managed to say with a shaking voice. "Give us another chance".
She shook her head to his request before she freed her hand from his grip. "I can't. I'm sorry".
He watched her as she grabbed her purse and went out the door. He had to get out of there. It was getting hard to breath as her words started echoing in his brain. I think we should get a divorce. He felt sick to his stomach as he grabbed his keys and exited the apartment not wanting to be anywhere near it.
She sat up from the bed she didn't get any sleep in as the conversation from the night before kept rewinding in her head. She didn't know what had gotten into her. Derek was the love if her life, there was no denying that. But the last months of their marriage were some of the toughest periods of her life. For some reason she felt suffocated. She didn't know why or how but she couldn't handle seeing the love of her life get hurt by her unexplainable damaged feelings. He deserved better than her. That's what she believed at least