Waking up without her was waking up into a nightmare
Waking up without her was waking up into a nightmare. I rather not wake up at all than wake up to the pain of my reality. My reality, that she is gone. She was my world. She left my life the same way she entered it, by surprise. The day she left was the day I lost my innocence, and I found out the world is not so nice after all. The dreamer, the innocent, and the hopeful girl have grown up to a stronger woman with just one call in the middle of the night, and Ashley was gone.
7 years later
I went to hit the alarm as it went it off at five in the morning. "ugh… damn, I was dreaming" Now, it's time to face reality. Waking up from dreams is the hardest thing to do, but my mornings always begin with a nightmare longing for someone to fill the right side of the bed. I long for her smell, taste, and beauty, but all I smell, feel, and see is the empty cold right side of my bed. I miss her so much every night that I lay there during the time I wait until sleep takes me way, and the minutes before I have enough energy to get off my bed. She is my world, and my world is not here with me. The pain is almost impossible to deal with, but every day I am reminded that she will be here with me again. Then, I begin to get up to start my day to just waiting.
As I began my run, I am reminded of her yet again. I love her music because she's the most talented person I've ever met. I cannot believe that I can live without her being near me everyday. She's probably asleep right now just right after her concert last night. She was unbelievably incredible last night, and that last song they played was incredible. She is incredible, and unbelievably beautiful. I miss her so much.
I finished my run right in front of our front door, and the moment I open the door I could smell breakfast.
"Good morning, Aunt Gloria" I said, as I gave her a kiss on the cheek. Gloria is my cook since I could afford a cook, but she's more like a second mother. "Good morning hija."
"This looks great…", I said, "ouch!" She slapped my hands as I try to get a piece of bacon off the plate without washing my hands.
"Wash your hands first! And go wake up Rain." I said. God, she's like my mother sometimes just without the bigot part. Sometimes, I think I'm living in her house instead of the other way around. I love her for being such a great person.
"yes, ma'am.." I said as I grab a piece of bacon. She sees me and said. "Spencer!!" I'm already half way up stairs.
It took me ten minutes before I got to Rain's room, and I'm thinking this house is way too big for us. She's my brother, Clay's sixteen year old daughter. She lives with me here in LA, while her mom and my brother Glen, now her father, are in Africa being the good humanitarian they are. She used to hate the idea of being away from her parents, but she grew to love me almost like a second mom. Considering that I am not her mom, we act more like friends.
Instead of knocking, I screamed "FIRE!! RAIN GET OUT!! NOW!! NOW!" before I know it she came running out of her room with only a towel on and her head soaked with shampoo and water.
"Fire!!" she screamed, and then she found me laughing my head off.
"Aunt Spencer!! Argh!!" she stomped her way back into her room and her bathroom. I followed her to the door of her bathroom, and tried to apologize.
"come on Rain, you know I'm just messing with you.." giggling a little as I said it.
" you always do this.. I hate that..", she said.
" no you don't…" I said laughing, " come on breakfast is ready… I'm really sorry," hoping that I did not push it too far this time around.
She opened the door… " got you!!" I was really concerned. "hahahaha.. very funny you know my weakness I never want you to be mad at me…" I said.
Before I left, she asked. " Can I borrow your Porsche today? I want to use it so I can give my gir…best friend, Jane a ride to end of the season party for the team after the game tonight."
I wonder what this girl is hiding now. "okay, just be very careful, ok," I said, "Make sure to tell John where you are going tonight. I do not want what happen last year to happen again. You almost…"
"I know, and don't worry to much. I'll tell John. Thanks you're my best aunt.." she said. I replied, " I'm the only one, and do not try to lose him. He is your bodyguard, and its for your own safety. You know people would do anything to get money out of me."
"okay.. I know Aunt Spencer. You worry too much. You're getting to old that's why." She teased. "hahah.. very funny." I said.
With us looking like goof balls, I left the room to the kitchen. I made sure Aunt Gloria saw me washing my hands… and she just nods. I join her at the table. A few minutes later Rain joined in, along with Alex my gardener.
As I finish the last drop of my orange juice, I heard the phone ringing. I jumped out of my seat like a child on Christmas day. Its her, my love, my everything… Everyone just smiled like they are reminded of how lovesick I am. They think its so cute that we are still act like teenagers even though we've been married for three years now. They tease me about it all the time, but I just ignore it all of it. I just ran into the huge living room away from the kitchen, so I can have some privacy.
I hit the button on the remote, and she the screen come out black, but I hear her say. " hello?"
"hey, baby. What happen to your cam phone?" I asked.
" I don't know babe, its been acting weird. But I sure am glad to hear your voice. How as your run?" she asked as put on the Bluetooth headset.
" It was great, I miss you so much though…. I wish you were here with me." I said with my sadness in my voice. "How is the Australian tour so far? Did you visit your mom and your dad?"
"I know babe, I miss you too. The tour is going great. I know you saw the show yesterday, it was sold out. They love us here. Mum and Dad are asking for you. They miss their daughter-in-law. Hahha. Sometimes, I think they love you more." She said playfully.
"hahha.. I love your parents too. I'll see them during our Christmas vacation there in Perth. I love Australia, and I cannot wait until we get our house finished there." I wished she was here, so I can see her brown eyes, smell her beautiful dark brown hair, and feel her incredible lips. I wish I can feel her body against mine. I wish she was here with me.
"I know.." she knew I miss her. She's been gone for almost nine months, and I cannot believe how much I miss her. I wish I went with her, but I have my own career here in LA. Our life is here, but she her band, to fill her life. She's living her dream, even though she sacrifice being with me everyday.
" I love you Spencer, you know that right. I'll be back in your arms soon. I promise." She comes back next week. I cannot wait.
" I love you too babe. I just miss you so much." for another ten minutes we talked about everything we missed out on the day.
"babe, I have to go its already 6:30 am. I have to be at the office at 8am. I love you, and I miss you so much." I said. " okay, Spence, I have to get some sleep too."
"and I have to get in the shower." I can feel her devilish smile as her minds wonder about my body. "too bad your not here to take it with me." I tease. I was too lost in my world, that I did not hear the doors open to the living room.
"you have no Idea how much I wish I am right next to you…click" I frown. Did she just hang up on me? What the hell?! That's when I felt her hands around my waist. My body went into complete dream state. My god, her touch is heavenly. As I turn around to face my beautiful wife. I could not help but smile, and I know she feels the same way because she has the goofy smile. In a second, I can feel her lips on mine, and her tongue urging to be let in my mouth. As the world fades away from our minds, then we hear.
"Eeww… get a room you two!" Rain teased. "I can live with the baby talks across the glove everyday, but you too making out in the middle of the living room is a bit too much." she laughs.
With her interruption, I remembered I do have to be at the office to finish some stuff up for a case my partner and I have been working on. I hate going to the office, and leaving my wife behind like this.
"Its nice to finally see you in one piece coming from Australia. She's (me) has gone crazy just without… She became unbearable..." Rain smiling, came up to us to give my wife a hug and kiss on the cheek. " I got to go school, but you're still coming to my basketball game tonight?" she asked.
"Wait, you knew about her coming home tonight?" I asked a bit surprised. She nods with her usually devilish smile.
"Of course, Rain, I wouldn't miss it for the world." I looked at my wife with a smile on my face. It's amazing how the two manage to keep this a secret from me, even though they like to tease me or team up against me. I love them both.
"good, okay I'm going to go, so make-out all you want now" she said as I threw a pillow at her. My wife just smiles at me with love that I am too lucky to be mine.
" I love you" she said. My knees feel like jelly now. God, its unbelievable how much she still affects me after years of marriage or being together.
"I love you too babe, but I have to get in the shower to go to the office. We have finish this huge case, and Mark have been freaking out lately." Mark is my partner in our law firm we created.
"well, how about that shower, I can use one too." With that said, we ran up stairs to our huge bathroom. Not, before I called Mark that I will be late today.
As our legs, arms, hand, lips, and body tangle up in the showers. She said, almost breathless, " I love you Spencer."
"aahh.. I… Love… you too… Hailey." I said becoming consumed by her touch.