Sasuke was a dumb bitch.
He should've known going with Orochimaru was a bad idea. Since his dumbass didn't listen to his ex boyfriend Naruto, Sasuke has to deal with the consequences. He gets groped on a daily basis. He cries himself to sleep every night. Kabuto sees this and laughs his ass off every time.
Everybody calls Sasuke a whore. A filthy filthy whore. They don't know the whole story though. Sasuke doesn't want to get molested by that decrepit old bastard. He couldn't take it anymore.
So he decides to leave.
On his way back to Konoha, he runs into Shino.
Shino stares at him for a second.
"... Sasuke?"
The Uchiha looks down at the ground and says nothing. Shino starts to get pissed off at his silence.
"Motherfucker, when I talk to you, you better answer." he tells Sasuke.
"Shutup, I'm going back to Konoha, okay?"
Shino blinked.
"The fuck did you say? Shutup?"
And that was it. Shino proceeded to whoop his ass. He beat the shit out of Sasuke until he was unconscious.
Orochimaru was pissed. He left his hideout to look for his boy toy.
"I know your out here sexy bitch!"
Ten minutes later, he found Sasuke's body face down on the ground. He carried Sasuke back to his hideout and waited for him to wake up.
"Nnggh..." Sasuke groans.
Orochimaru frowns. "It's nice to see you decided to wake up. Now where were you going?"
Sasuke hesitated. Orochimaru raged and slapped Sasuke in the face so hard, he went blind.
"If you're not going so answer me then why don't you just pull your pants down!"
Sasuke wanted nothing more then to be away from this crazy old pervert. He was not going to let this happen again. He kicked Orochimaru in the mouth so hard that he swallowed his tongue and all his teeth. Crazy snake man flailed on the floor until he died. Sasuke would've laughed but he couldn't see shit.
Naruto then busted through the door. "Sasuke, my love!"
"N-Naruto...? Is that you?"
The blond ran up to Sasuke and hugged him. "I missed you so much! When I heard that you were getting molested, I just had to rescue you as soon as possible! I love you damnit!"
Sasuke was at a loss for words. "... R-Really... ?"
Naruto squeezed harder. "Yes! Let's go home and screw!"
"Naruto, wa-"
But it was too late. Naruto had squeezed Sasuke so hard, that he exploded. His innards were flying everywhere.
Naruto couldn't believe that actually happened.
"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!"
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