A Minecraft Carol
Shandiin Begaye and Rhyanna Fleming
STAVE ONE
MARLEY'S GHOST
Marley, with his Gnome Child skin and butter helmet, never played well to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. When he deleted his Minecraft account, Scrooge put a burial behind his diamond mansion. It consisted of two stone slabs, surrounded by poppies on all sides except the end, which had a sign that read 'RIP, Marley's MC account'.
Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is that makes a dead bush1 particularly dead. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a dead bush as the deadest item in the game. But the wisdom of MLG2 gamers is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it or the servers done for. Your will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a dead bush.
The mention of Marley's funeral brings me back to the point I started from. There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that GlaDOS had blown up at the end of the first game, there would have been nothing remarkable about her showing back up in the sequel.
Oh! but Scrooge was a troll3 that wasted his life ruining the virtual lives of n00by4 gamers. With his troll skin, he would grief5 their houses, trap them in obsidian, and push them into lava without a moment's hesitation- for he cared not for their items; he only wanted to make them miserable.
Nobody ever sent him private messages on the server, saying happily, "lol nice cape bruh, wanna come to meh drop party6?". No n00bs ever asked him for a few spare diamonds, no squeakers7 ever bothered to show him their dirt houses, no players would ever ask him how he managed to grief so well. Even tamed wolves would automatically attack him, although he had never triggered them.
But what did Scrooge care? It was the very thing he wanted. To gain reactions from the rage of n00by gamers was what Scrooge craved.
"ScroogesNephew123: uncleuncleuncle wanna come 2 meh drop party :D" a message suddenly appeared in the chat. It was from his n00by nephew who had only gotten an account to bother Scrooge.
"Git", typed Scrooge, "Rekt8!"
"lol wut does dat mean", replied the nephew.
Scrooge was tired of his nephews' ignorance, so he got off and joined a private server where he could troll people in peace.
After joining the server, he saw a message reading "HopelessN00b: does any1 have any extra dirt 4 meh house?"
"ScroogeWillHelp: /tpa HopelessN00b9" he typed and his request was quickly granted.
"HopelessN00b: can u give me some dirt plz?" said the poor, unknowing n00b.
"ScroogeWillHelp: k", he responded, as he took out a bucket of lava.
Before the n00b could say 'wat r u doing', Scrooge poured the bucket of lava all over the n00b, killing him almost instantly. Scrooge chuckled to himself, and took a sip of his Mountain Dew. He then proceeded to replacing every block of n00bs half-finished house with a creeper spawner. Satisfied with his work, he warped to his diamond mansion.
When it loaded, he noticed something sticking out of his jungle-wood-door. As he sprinted towards it, it appeared to be the face of Gnome child; Marley's skin. He couldn't believe what he was seeing- he was sure that Marley had deleted his account. Then, all of a sudden, the face disappeared. Scrooge told himself that it was probably just a glitch- Notch had updated recently, after all. Perhaps this was a new bug of some sort. Scrooge ignored it and walked into his mansion. Yet, as soon as he walked in, endermen sounds began to play in the background- it wasn't the sound of just one endermen- it sounded like there were hundreds. But when he looked outside his window, he saw nothing but the empty lawns of the neighbors he scared away.
As he turned around from the window, Marley appeared suddenly. But it wasn't the same as the normal Marley; he wasn't wearing his butter helmet, and he seemed transparent.
"ScroogeWillHelp: dood wat r u doing here", Scrooge typed, "i though u deleted ur account"
"MarleyWillHelp: i did", he replied, "now im a ghost"
"ScroogeWillHelp: lol wut", was all Scrooge could think to type, "r u serious bruh"
"MarleyWillHelp: ya ded serious- as ded as meh account haha lol"
"ScroogeWillHelp: not funny bruh, how r u doing this, r u hacking or something"
"MarleyWillHelp: no the MLG ghosts r, tho"
"ScroogeWillHelp: the wat"
"MarleyWillHelp: teh MLG ghosts. They hacked me and dey want me 2 make u stahp trolling. Dey just sent me as a messenger; there gonna come c u soon"
"ScroogeWillHelp: *they're"
"MarleyWillHelp: srsly bruh, I tell u ur gonna git visited by MLG ghosts and u correct my grammar"
"ScroogeWillHelp: wutever"
"MarleyWillHelp: anyways I gotta go now, but teh ghosts will c u soon kthxbai"
Scrooge admitted to himself that he was a little frightened- what would these hackers do to him? Would they troll him? Ban him? What if they can delete his Minecraft account?! He could do nothing but anxiously eat his Doritos until the MLG ghosts arrived.
STAVE TWO
THE FIRST OF THE MLG GHOSTS
Scrooge sat for hours eating Doritos wondering when the first MLG was going to arrive. After a while, he thought that it was all just nonsense and the gaming was just hit by a virus. When something- actually, a someone- appeared. He heard a crash followed by grumbling.
He looked around the room and saw something that looked like a blue hedgehog. It wasn't even animated in the way the game is supposed to look. Minecraft is 3D, 16 Bit with voxels, but this hedgehog was 2D and looked as if it had been drawn by a two year old with crayons. It wore a high-polygon, white tunic, and looked very out of place in the pixel-y world of Minecraft.
"ScroogeWillHelp: Who r u?! r u the MLG Marley told me about?"
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Yes. Yes I am."
"ScroogeWillHelp: Who and wut are u?"
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Im teh Ghost of Gaming Past"
"ScroogeWillHelp: The long gaming past?"
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: No, ur gaming past. Come, we don't have much tiem"
"ScroogeWillHelp: Wut r we gonna do?"
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: We're going 2 take a peek into your past"
"ScroogeWillHelp: Wut do you mean?"
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: We are going to look at your past"
Hearing this Scrooge was confused but took the MLG's arm. When he saw the MLG heading for the window.
"ScroogeWillHelp: Um… I don't think this will work"
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: It will. You are now a ghost but only temporarily while I'm here."
After this, Scrooge was still unsure but hung to the MLG anyways. When they got out the window Scrooges diamond house and neighborhood vanished and turned into a landscape of a plain with few houses several miles apart. They came closer to the houses and saw gamers coming together. Scrooge was familiar with all these gamers. Scrooge was able to name them all for he began his gaming in that biome.
They kept traveling until they came across a half-finished house farther apart from all the other houses. There they saw an n00by looking discouraged. Scrooge sighed and shook his head.
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Wut is wrong?"
"ScroogeWillHelp: I met this n00b who needed some dirt to finish his house and asked for some. But instead I poured a bucket of lava on him."
They went closer to the n00b. When Scrooge saw him, he gasped.
"ScroogeWillHelp: That's me! I was such a lonely gamer. Until Marley joined, I was also such a bad player. It took me a while to get a hang of playing."
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: It must have had been hard or something. For it took you 25 months to become a better gamer."
"ScroogeWillHelp: I admit I was very bad, but have improved though."
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Let's go to a different time."
The landscape disappeared and an instead they saw a swamp with several houses all together into one big neighborhood. They saw a couple gamers hanging around the biggest house as if they were waiting for something to happen.
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Does this look familiar Scrooge? Ring any memories?"
"ScroogeWillHelp: Ya. Ya! I remember the first drop party I went to. It was very large and fun. I got several supplies I needed and met a few nice gamers. I wish I still talked to them."
All of a sudden, they saw a gamer approaching.
"RandomBoss15: Let the party begin!"
Then the boss dropped a bunch of items making the n00bs start fighting over the items.
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Ahh. N00bs always try and get as much as they can and sometimes end up with lots or nothing. Let's go 2 a different time."
The disappeared and instead they saw a diamond house with some close neighbors. Here they saw an older looking Scrooge sitting and looking as if he was expecting someone to show up. Younger Scrooge tried teleported after a couple minutes. Instead of teleporting young Scrooge got a reply of *Player Not Found*.
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Younger you has gone to find Marley if you don't remember you guys planned on going to a drop party together, but instead you found one of the biggest surprises of your gaming life. Marley deleted his account."
"ScroogeWillHelp: Yes, I remember it as if it was yesterday. I tried to teleport to him, but instead I get a reply of *Player Not Found*."
"(Younger) ScroogeWillHelp: Wut! He said he was improving. He never said he was going to delete his account. I should have had known he wasn't getting better. I should have had helped him. I am such a terrible friend."
"ScroogeWillHelp: I should have known. He didn't seem interested in playing at all. He didn't visit he ignored me. He just wasn't himself."
"MLGGhostofGamingPast: Our time is up. You will get a visit from another ghost later."
The ghost then disappeared into a portal. Scrooge then waited and eventually fell asleep.
STAVE THREE
THE SECOND OF THE MLG GHOSTS
Scrooge crouched on his bed, waiting anxiously for the second of the MLG ghosts to arrive. One day, two days, a Minecraft week passed, yet nothing came. All of a sudden, a beacon appeared underneath his bed, coating him in its beam.
Although he had not even touched his keyboard, Scrooge's avatar began to move on its own. It sprinted off the bed, out of his room, into the hall, and into the entrance room. It stopped right before the front door. Scrooge took back control of his keyboard and mouse, and apprehensively opened the door. When he opened it, he found himself, somehow, back in his bedroom. When he entered, he found a strange creature awaiting him.
Like the first ghost, it was animated unusually. Yet, instead of being animated better it was only in 8-bit. It was a golden fish that sparkled in the light of the glowstone. It had two long whiskers on its chin, and its mouth seemed to be permanently shaped in a surprised expression.
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: hai"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: imma ghost… boo"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: come in plz"
"ScroogeWillHelp: ur the second MLG ghost?" Scrooge typed as he walked hesitantly into his room.
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: ya I just said dat"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: follow me"
The spirit began to float awkwardly out the door, as Scrooge followed close behind. He went into the basement and approached Scrooge's nether portal.
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: c'mon, we gotta go in here"
"ScroogeWillHelp: k"
Scrooge walked through the portal and found himself in a completely different server. Standing in front of a small-but-nice-looking cobblestone house, was the n00b Scrooge had trolled earlier.
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: luk at dis, scrooge."
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: dat n00b u trolled earlier left 2 join a different server"
"ScroogeWillHelp: so? Wut kinda lesson is this suppose 2 teach?"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: scrooge, u must realize dat when u troll n00bs, u aren't actually doing anything. Dey can always join another server and git gud there."
"ScroogeWillHelp: so wut ur saying is that I should try HARDER to troll ppl?"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: no, im saying dat ur actions are never permanent. All ur doing is temporarily annoying dem. It's just a waste of ur tiem."
"ScroogeWillHelp: ..."
Scrooge had never thought of it this way before. No matter how hard he tried, he would never truly bother anyone. He would always be thought of as a lifeless jerk that wastes his time temporarily messing up peoples buildings.
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: well, anyway, I gotta go now"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: kthxbai"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: and remember, don't troll"
"GhostOfChristmasPresent: … craft"
As he typed that last message, the strange ghost was sucked up into a swirling black cloud and disappeared.
STAVE FOUR
THE THIRD MLG GHOST
Scrooge waited several Minecraft weeks and still no ghost showed up. He was starting to wonder if the MLG was going to ever show up he heard a loud thump followed by some groans.
Scrooge peeked in the room there he saw It was the infamous Herobrine that all minecrafters knew of. It looked exactly like the 'Steve' skin, but with glowing white eyes.
"MLGGhostOfTheFuture: Come. We must go NOW. No time for questions let's just go."
Scrooge afraid of Herobrine grabbed his arm and hung on for he knew what they were going to do. They flew out the window and the landscape changed to a n00bs house fully complete. They came closer to the house and saw n00bs talking and laughing.
"ScroogeWillHelp: Why did you bring me hear? What is the purpose of this?"
"MLGGhostOfTheFuture: Listen."
They came closer so they can hear what the n00bs were saying and laughing about.
"HopefullN00bLives: I wonder if he even existed he would show up. Like he even exists."
"N00bIsInTrouble: Playing to make people miserable what is the fun in that? I rather not play."
"ScroogeWillHelp: Who are they talking about?"
"MLGGhostOfTheFuture: You."
"ScroogeWillHelp: That is not possible. I have an account in the future right! Right?!"
The MLG changed the setting instead they stood in a cemetery of deleted accounts. The MLG pointed to a lone grave it read "ScroogeWillHelp"
"ScroogeWillHelp: No im not the gamer I once was. It is not possible. I don't want to grief any more. I want to help!"
The setting changed and they were back to Scrooges house. The MLG was gone leaving Scrooge alone.
STAVE FIVE
THE END OF IT
Scrooge awoke once again in his giant mansion. It was morning in Minecraft and the chat was filled with rp-ers, sqeakers, n00bs, and bosses alike.
"N00byN00b123: hai does any1 have any extra wood"
Yesterday, Scrooge would have offered to help the n00b, only to set his unfinished wooden house on fire. But, today was different. Scrooge was a kinder person that would live his virtual life using lessons learned from the past, present, and future.
"ScroogeWillHelp: /TPA N00byN00b123"
"ScroogeWillHelp: what kind of wood do u need?"
"N00byN00b123: omg thx 4 halping, i liek the red colored wood, plz"
"ScroogeWillHelp: k", he typed as he handed the n00b 4 piles of acacia wood.
"N00byN00b123: thank u so much! :3"
"ScroogeWillHelp: np bruh"
It was an odd feeling to receive thanks for his work, but a good one nonetheless. Scrooge decided to show everyone how nice he could become.
"ScroogeWillHelp: every1 tpa for epic drop party!"
Everyone on the server knew how powerful Scrooge was on the server, so many were tempted to go to the drop party. At first they hesitated, fearing it was a trap. One brave squeaker emptied its inventory and tp'd to Scrooge. After confirming it was safe, many showed up and were given emeralds, diamonds, and enough butter to fill their inventory's to the top.
From that day on, Scrooge lived up to his username. He would never turn down the chance to help a n00b. He quickly went from infamous to famous and all the players would celebrate when he was on. Not only did the n00bs (including his nephew) become happier, but so did Scrooge, whom began to really enjoy helping others.
1- a dead bush is an item commonly found in deserts
2- MLG stands for Major League Gamer; professionals usually wear this title
3- 'troll' is a nickname for someone that purposefully causes mayhem on the internet
4- a 'n00b' is someone that is either new at a game or extremely bad at it. The reason it is spelled with zeros instead of 'o's is unknown
5- griefing is the destruction of someone's property in games. Trolls are known for griefing
6- a drop party is a public party where boss's give free items to n00bs
7- squeakers are young children playing games that they shouldn't be allowed to play. They have earned this title from the sound their voices make when using their mics.
8- 'Git rekt' is a saying commonly used by MLG players. No one knows what it actually means.
9- /tpa players name is a command used in Minecraft to send a request to teleport.