"Come on! Why can't we play with you guys?" a five year old girl with light strawberry colored hair complained.
"Cause you're a girl and girls have cooties," a boy with wild brown hair explained as if it was the simplest concept in the world. A small brown and white puppy to his right barked in agreement.
Ino Yamanaka, the blue eyed blonde girl standing next to Sakura, used all of her cunning wit and knowledge to create a comeback that would stop the ever infuriating Kiba Inuzuka right in his flea bitten tracks.
"Nuh-uh!" she shouted.
"Yuh-huh!" Kiba fired back almost immediately.
"Nuh-uh!"
"Yuh-huh!"
Shikamaru and Choji, who were sitting with their backs against some nearby tree trunks, watched the exchange between the two hot heads like it was an engaging tennis match. Honestly, Choji hoped that Ino would win because he had the hugest crush on her. Sure, she called him fat and ate all of his cookies, but her eyes were the exact color of cotton candy and her hair was a shimmering waterfall of lemon drops.
"May I?" Shikamaru asked Choji, shouts of 'Nuh-uh' and 'Yuh-huh' heard in the background.
Choji thought it over for a moment. He shrugged and tilted his King Size bag of animal crackers in Shikamaru's direction. Shikamaru dug around until he pulled out a rhinoceros, a camel with a missing hump, and half of a lion. He shoved all three in his mouth and began munching.
The two friends turned their attention back to the bickering idiots. Correction: Bickering red faced idiots. Ino's face was the exact shade of the tomatoes Sasuke Uchiha was always eating during lunch and Kiba's nearly blended in with the triangular tattoos on his cheeks.
"Nuh-uh!"
"Yuh-huh!"
"NUH-UH!" Ino and Sakura screamed at the top of their lungs, hands on hips and eyes flickering with barely contained rage.
Kiba flinched under their unwavering glares, but straightened up and tried to recover what was left of his dignity. "You DO! Go on, tell 'em what you told me Shikamaru!"
Shikamaru opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it when Ino and Sakura's blood curdling stares shifted to him. He sighed audibly. "I'm not getting in that."
"Traitor," Kiba spat. Shikamaru just shrugged and muttered something about troublesome girls. "How about you Choji?"
With one glance at the stunning Ino, Choji made up his mind. He shook his head, light brown locks bobbing to and fro, and shoved another handful of animal crackers into his already stuffed mouth.
"Akamaru?" he asked hesitantly. The dog was crouched behind his legs, shaking slightly. Kiba pouted, but quickly converted it into a grimace.
Realizing that she had won, Ino smirked. "So, what are we playing?" she asked cockily, one eye brow raised, a technique learned from watching her mother deal with difficult customers in their flower shop.
"This isn't over yet," Kiba growled as he stomped past the snickering duo, Akamaru hot on his heels.
Iruka Umino was the smartest person at Leaf Elementary that Kiba knew. Granted, everyone else was between the ages of five and eight, but still.
"IRUKA SENSEI, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!" Kiba yelled as he pounded on the white door that separated him from his teacher's office. "IRUKA SENSEI, OPEN UP!"
A not so subtle groan was heard from the other side of the door followed by the sound of shuffling feet on tile. The door opened a crack. Kiba stopped knocking.
"Make it quick," Iruka mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His brown hair, which was usually up in a high ponytail, had come lose and was sticking up all around his face.
"Iruka Sensei," Kiba panted. "This is VERY important!"
Iruka, being the concerned teacher he is, focused immediately and rushed Kiba inside, flipping on the lights in the process.
"What? Is someone hurt? Did Gaara bury someone in the sandbox again?" He asked frantically.
"No, worse," Kiba answered. Iruka bit his lip, mentally kissing his teaching job goodbye.
Kiba took a deep breath. "Sakura and Ino want to play with me, Akamaru, Choji and Shikamaru, but I told them no because yah know, girls have cooties. I don't want cooties. Then they were like 'Waaah we don't have cooties' and I was like 'Yes you do!' and they were like 'Nuh-uuuh' and I was like 'Yuh-huh' and they were like 'Nuh-uh' and I was like 'Yuh-huh'… anyway, can you tell them that girls do have cooties?"
Iruka sweat dropped. His wondrous, relaxing, kid-free nap was ruined because of… of… cooties! He did not get paid enough for this.
Iruka knelt down and placed a hand on Kiba's shoulder, which was kind of hard to do considering the fact that Kiba was hopping up and down in place impatiently.
"Kiba, girls do not have… cooties," he said.
"B-but my cousin said…" Kiba stammered.
"Girls do not have cooties," Iruka repeated. "They are just like you and I… with a few minor differences."
Kiba stopped hopping and cocked his head to the side. "Like what?"
Iruka flushed. The conversation was not going the way he thought it would. "U-uh… like stuff," he squeaked.
"What kind of stuff?" Kiba pressed on.
"Um… important stuff… but that's not the point. You should let the girls play with you," he smiled.
Kiba crossed his arms and planted his sandaled feet firmly on the ground. "What kind of stuff?"
Iruka blanched. He was getting bullied by a five year old. This was high school all over again.
Ten minutes and several gags later, Iruka was sitting on the ground with a bird puppet on one hand and a bee puppet on the other. Kiba was gaping open mouthed, horrified at his latest lesson in life.
"A-and that is how girls and b-boys are d-d-different," Iruka stuttered. "D-do you g-get it now?"
Kiba nodded.
"W-well run along ch-champ!" he attempted to sound cheerful.
Dazedly, Kiba stumbled out of the room.
Back in the meadow, Ino and Sakura were lying down, watching the clouds drift by with Shikamaru and Choji.
"What do you think happened with Kiba?" Ino asked no one in particular.
Surprisingly, Shikamaru answered. "He probably got distracted." The other three kindergarteners murmured in agreement.
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