Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters.
A/N: I had a little thought rolling around in my mind and felt like writing it so... here it is. Based after 3x15 and before the Prom episode. I know there's a few episodes after Prom, but this is as if Prom comes after school is over for them.
Artie had visited you once after your accident. It wasn't until Brittany told him about your spine that he started visiting you once every two days. You weren't awake for the first seven times he was there but when you did wake up, your mother informed you of everyone who had visited you and how often.
There were two names that she left out. One of them you couldn't have cared less about but the other left a burning sensation in your chest and it hurt like hell.
You were in a coma for three weeks. In the final four weeks you were in hospital, you had seen everyone who had come to visit you before. You were surprised to find out that Artie really did visit you the most out of everyone and he became a good friend.
When you were allowed to go home, Artie came with you. He taught you all the basics you needed to know about being in a wheelchair. It was a great help and you just knew he'd be a part of your life forever, whether you're stuck in the wheelchair for the rest of your life or not.
It wasn't until your second week back at school when things changed between you and somehow you found it inside yourself to wish you were back in the hospital for doing this to him.
He tried to kiss you.
"I can't" you tell him, shaking your head. He squeezes his eyes tightly shut and bows his head.
"I knew it" he sounds angry at himself. "It's Rachel, right?"
"I'm so sorry, Artie" you look at him sadly, he isn't wrong.
"No - I should be the one apologizing. I knew it. I just knew and I still tried -"
"Hey," you interrupt him. "It's okay, alright? I just can't do this with you"
"I understand" he smiles sadly at you.
"Artie, I would but," you frown. "It's complicated"
He stays silent.
"You're a great, great guy, Artie, and you've definitely become one of my best friends but it wouldn't be fair on you. I wouldn't do that to you" you shake your head.
"Because you're in love with somebody else" he tells you.
"Yes," you nod again. "I'm in love with someone else"
"Right" he says and you frown at his tone.
"I didn't mean to upset you"
"It's not that," his eyebrows furrow together. "I had an idea a long time ago about this and now that's it's just been confirmed... I'm wondering why you've, you know, never done anything about it?" he waits for your answer.
You take a moment to think over your answer but it isn't difficult.
"She's happy" you simply tell him.
He smiles sadly at you and looks on the verge of tears.
"You know that's not true" he tells you quietly and carefully, though his tone doesn't change the way you react.
"Don't," you yell over the top of him. You take a deep breath for snapping at him. "Sorry," you bite the inside of your cheek. "Just don't"
He reaches out and takes your hand in his. Once he sees you have calmed down, he speaks again.
"Are you ever going to tell her?"
"At Prom," you tell him. "Then I'm going to leave for Yale and never look back"
"What?" he looks genuinely surprised.
"I'll still stay in touch with you, Artie, okay? You, Santana, Brittany and Kurt... maybe Sam, too"
"But why? Why would you leave everyone else?"
"I want to start again and I can't do that while being tied to here. I can't do that with Rachel still in my life" you press your fingers to your mouth gently to stop yourself from crying.
"You're really just going to leave her?" you frown at his choice of words.
"She was never mine to leave from" you say.
"She's always been yours" he tells you and flinches away, expecting you to jump out of your wheelchair and attack him for messing with your emotions. You know he doesn't mean to do that, he believes he's just stating a fact.
"She's happy, okay?" you want to scream because he was right, again, you know it's not true. "She keeps telling me she's happy and I have to believe her," you pause. "She wants me to believe her" you finish.
"But you could -" he starts but you cut him off.
"No, okay? No. I've tried and I've tried but she doesn't want to listen to me. That's it"
You see him visibly deflate in front of you as he nods, realizing this conversation is over.
xXx
"I need to ask you a favor" you tell Finn once you get him alone in the school hallway. Part of you wants to ask him if he can sit in the floor in front of you because it's painful enough on your neck just looking up at your average sized friends. Then another part of you feels guilty for what you're about to ask and your intentions behind it, so you don't ask him to make this easier for you because when you time is right, he's going to hate you and you'll accept that.
"Sure?" he wonders what you're going to say. The only thing you've spoken to him about since before your accident is about him texting and walking. You may envy the guy for having everything you've ever wanted, but you wouldn't wish a car crash on your worst enemy. You're also pretty sure that he feels awful for never visiting you once in the hospital, even if he does blame you for unintentionally stopping his wedding.
"I want one dance with Rachel at our Senior Prom" you tell him confidently.
"But you're in a wheelchair" he says and looks confused. You wanted to laugh at him, you have no idea why you ever wanted dated him now that you can really see him.
"Yes, Finn, I know," you're still struggling not to giggle but this is what you consider to be a serious conversation so you hold it back and continue. "I'm hoping to be out of this chair by the time Prom comes around, but even if I'm not, it's still possible"
He nods slowly, getting it. He doesn't reply to you, so you continue.
"I'm asking you to not interrupt us, okay?" you can see how hard his brain is working behind his eyes, wondering why you want to dance with his fiancée.
"Okay?" he stutters out. You feel a bubbling in your stomach and start to question yourself if you should really be asking him this. Once the truth comes out, he is not going to be happy. You don't want to upset him by manipulating him but this is something you need to do.
"Santana is going to be singing a song for us and I need you to stay off the dance floor until the song is over," you say. "Please"
"I don't get why you want to dance at Prom with Rachel" he tells you and he finally stops looking down at you and sits on the floor. Your neck hurts as you lower it to look at him and sigh internally with relief.
"Is there anyone you've ever wanted to dance with at Prom other than Rachel? If you could have anyone else, just for one dance... would there be anyone?" you ask him, not entirely sure if this is the best way of going about it.
"Uhm," he smiles shyly and you raise you eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, there is," he says, scratching the back of his neck, this surprises you even more. You try not to think what this could mean for Rachel. "Is that what this is for you? To have a moment with someone you care about?"
Your mouth drops open slightly at the way he asks you. You're not sure if he quite understands what he means himself by it, but you nod anyway.
"Yes," you tell him. "But it's kind of more like a goodbye"
"A goodbye?" his back straightens, waiting for you to continue.
"I want to start again when I leave for college," he nods, understanding, you feel your eyes well up. "Please don't tell Rachel. I need to tell her after Prom"
He nods once and frowns.
"So it'll be a goodbye to someone you care about. Okay. I think I get it" he smiles but you can tell it's fake because he's still confused.
You stare at him for a little while, trying to work out what's going on in that mind of his. He looks like he wants to ask you something. He takes a deep breath in while you hold your own breath.
"Why Rachel?" he asks. You close your eyes and figure out how to reply.
"You remember what Rachel and I used be like with each other, right? And now she's like - she's like my best friend. She has helped me through so much, Finn, she was there for me when no one else gave a damn. I just need this one thing to say thank you and goodbye" you're satisfied with your answer, though you're kind of mad at yourself for the tear that unexpectedly falls from one of your eyes.
You have to swallow the lump that forms in your throat when he looks at you like you're in love with his fiancée or something. You blink rapidly a few times before raising one eyebrow to question his look, trying to act as confident as you possibly can.
He looks suspicious and you think you might throw up. His silence makes you nervous and you're worried that for once in his life, he's finally reading between the lines. You feel guilty for thinking about him like that.
While you're both having a staring contest, a thought comes to you and you believe this could be your only chance to get away with this without any more questions.
"Who is it you want to dance with at Prom, Finn?" you ask him and you're amused as you watch him go shy again.
"It doesn't matter. She wouldn't want to dance with me anyway and I don't think Rachel would be very happy about it" he plays with the end of his shirt nervously.
"You're letting me dance with Rachel, right? So she wont mind if you dance with someone else just one time. It's the end of our Senior year, we all want a special way to say goodbye to our friends. Even though you might see each other from time to time, it wont be anything like it is now"
He sighs but seems to agree with what you said.
"But she wont dance with me" he shifts where he is sitting and looks like he wants to walk away to save himself.
"Who?" you ask gently.
"Santana" he mumbles. You smile softly. You understand why he wants a special moment with her. You know they've been through a lot together. You know Finn feels a connection with her since she's who he lost his virginity to.
You didn't used to understand the big deal, you don't care that your lost you virginity to Puck. It was a mistake, yes, but it was never a big deal to you who it was who took that piece of you. Over the years you've learnt that it's not like that for everyone else. You've seen how important it is to some of your friends.
So with Finn, you've seen that he made a mistake with Santana. He liked someone else at the time and to her, he was just one of the many people she slept with. Even though it meant nothing to him at the time, he feels there will always be a place for Santana in his life.
They've never had the easiest of friendships. Well, anyone who is friends with Santana has anything but an easy friendship with her. You know, though, you know what it's like to be friends with her so you can respect the relationship that she and Finn have.
You know that Finn feels awful about outing Santana. Part of you thinks he wants to dance with her to say sorry so she knows he means it because she's a difficult woman to please. The word is never enough for her.
Out of all of your Glee friends, you know it's the unexpected couples who will remain close friends forever. You know that Finn and Santana will be friends for life. The same goes for Rachel and Puck, yourself and Kurt, Santana and Tina, Puck and Kurt and more. You're pretty certain that most of the Glee club will stay in touch with everyone they can but some will see each other more than others.
You can't say that everyone will because you know that it's only a small handful of people who know what your plans are after High School. You have no idea if some other Glee club members have the same thoughts as you.
Finn is scared about losing Santana even though you know that'll never happen. Still, you understand why he wants to share something special with her with the knowledge that it will be his finest moment of his High School life.
"Leave it to me" you tell him. His eyes fill with hope until it fades just as quickly as it got there. "I'll talk to Santana," you say, confident that you can make this work. "I'll talk to her and you'll dance with her at Prom"
"You'd do that for me?" he tilts his head to the side slightly.
"It's the least I can do," you tell him and then that bad feeling in your stomach is back. "You know, for letting me dance with Rachel" you clear your throat after, hoping he wont notice the many reasons behind why you're willing to do this for him.
"Okay" he smiles and it's genuine. You sigh with relief and then you're nervous again. It's really happening.
xXx
When your Senior Prom day finally comes around, you cry when you're getting ready.
Santana is pissed at you. She doesn't want to dance with Finn but it's not for the reason that she told you about. You know that. She yelled at you and wondered why the hell you would promise him something like that when he made her life hell. To get out of it, you told her that it was the only way to get Finn to agree to let you dance with Rachel.
She suggested that she and Brittany could just kidnap him and lock him away while you dance with his fiancée. You giggled quietly and she sighed. You know that even though she's telling the truth about her reasoning for not wanting to dance with Finn, it's not the whole truth in the slightest. You know that she'll cry in his arms and Santana Lopez does not cry.
She knows as well as we all do that this is the end. The times we're all going to be together as a group are numbered. Yes, she'll still be in contact with everyone even though she'll pretend not to want to, but she knows it'll never be the same again. She'll never admit it but you know she doesn't want to leave High School behind.
She may be angry at you, but she agreed to dance with Finn. You hold her hand and kiss it once to say thank you because you need this and you really appreciate what she is doing for you.
You're also sad because of the same reasons as Santana. This is your last time with everyone and it scares you. You really want more than anything to start a new life away from here but so many things have happened to you while you've been in High School that you feel sick at the thought of saying goodbye.
You know that one day when you're thirty years old and someone asks you what the three biggest moments of your life have been, you'll tell them that they all happened before you turned eighteen years old.
Firstly, you'll tell them that you got pregnant and had a baby at sixteen. You'll tell them that it was one of the biggest moments of your life because, hello, you have a daughter. You gave her up for adoption and then went on to ruin any chance you had of being in her life. You hope that one day you will meet her again, but you're not holding your breath.
Secondly, you'll tell them that you got into a horrific car accident when you were seventeen. You'll say it was one of the biggest moments of your life because for the first three days you were in hospital, you had a very small chance of survival. The doctors told you that you should have died as soon as that truck hit you but you didn't. And even though you don't know if your legs will be working by then, you know they'll never feel the same again.
And thirdly, you'll tell them that somewhere along the line between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, you fell in love for the first time. You'll tell them that that scared you more than anything in your life. More than having a baby, being homeless, being in a car accident, hearing that your legs might never work again, losing your father. Nothing terrified you more than falling in love with the most beautiful woman you've ever known. It will remain a big moment for you forever because you were so helplessly in love with her but you never got to have her in the way you wanted. You're sure a piece of you will always love her, so you'll tell them that, too.
The main reason why you're crying as you're getting ready for Prom is that you still can't walk. You're still stuck in this damn wheelchair when you wanted tonight to be perfect. You know that either way, the night will end in tears but you wanted so badly to be able to dance with Rachel properly because, well, this is it. This is the end.
xXx
When you arrive at your Prom, Rachel is the first person who tells you that you look beautiful. Even though you feel silly being there in a stunning dress in a wheelchair, you believe her.
The whole Glee club sings first for everyone and you find yourself enjoying it much more than you thought you would. Then Rachel sings a solo while you watch her from the dance floor. She catches your eye and gives you the most brilliant smile you've ever seen. It knocks the breath out of you and you feel yourself die and come alive all at the same time.
You've never felt more in love with her than in this very moment. It gives you the most painful feeling in your stomach at the realization that this could be the last time you ever get to see and hear her perform like this.
The song finishes and you clap. Her eyes linger on you as if she's asking you if she done well with the song. You nod once while still clapping and she smiles gratefully at you, thanking you.
You sing a song for everyone, although it's only intended for Finn and Santana. You can't help but smile all through the song as you watch them dancing together. The change in Santana's body language all through the song tells you that you did the right thing by promising Finn this dance with her.
You win Prom Queen and Finn wins Prom King. It's a bit more public than you were expecting, but really it turns out quite well for you.
You politely tell Principle Figgins that you don't wish to dance with the Prom King and he look towards Finn. Finn nods and puts his thumbs up at you. You smile at him and tell the room that you would like to dance with Rachel Berry.
You hear soft murmurs all around the hall but you don't care because your eyes are on Rachel and she looks like she's just won a Tony. She gets up slowly and starts walking to the middle of the floor while you wheel yourself off the stage.
You nod to Santana and she kisses you on your forehead as you pass by each other.
You slowly roll up to Rachel and you see that she's shaking. When the music starts, you swallow down your nerves and gesture for Rachel to sit on your lap.
She carefully sits down where you want her and wraps one arm around your neck as you hold her other hand in yours and wrap you other hand around her waist, keeping her steady.
When she finally realizes that Santana is singing, she blinks a few times with a frown. You just smile gently at her.
Summer after high school when we first met
We made out in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my 18th Birthday
We got matching tattoos
Used to steal your parents' liquor
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I'd be losing you
You're slowly swaying with her in your wheelchair. Other couples have joined you on the dance floor but neither of you take any notice. Rachel is staring deeply into your eyes, trying to understand what you're trying to tell her.
She swallows hard when the lyrics 'I'd be losing you' are sang. You smile a little sadly at her and rest your forehead on her chin for a couple of seconds before going back to look at her again.
In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
You let go of her hand and bring it up to her face, stroking her cheek with your thumb. She rests her now free hand on your waist, rubbing up and down slightly.
You can tell that her mind is working over time. You suddenly feel a bit guilty for doing this to her but there's no turning back now. You're going to do this.
I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on (Whoa)
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the Blues
It's time to face the music
I'm no longer your muse
'Get It Right' comes into your mind and you know she's thinking about it too. Her eyes fill with tears but you can't take the small smile off you face. She's understanding what is going on.
You chance a look at Finn and he's watching you both with a mixture of both confusion and understanding on his face. Rachel isn't the only one who is realizing what is happening here and you've never been more thankful to Finn for sticking to his word and not interrupting. He doesn't even look angry.
But in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one
The o-o-o-o-o-one
The o-o-o-o-o-one
The one that got away
You squeeze Rachel tighter into you to indicate her to lean down closer to you. She gets the message and you press your cheek against hers so your mouth is next to her ear.
"I've always loved you, Rachel" you tell her loud enough so she can hear you.
She doesn't pull back from you but squeezes you tighter. After a few seconds you feel her shake in your arms and she's crying onto your shoulder. You don't know what to do other than rub her back soothingly and bury your face into her neck.
All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I should've told you what you meant to me (Whoa)
'Cause now I pay the price
You push Rachel back slightly and look into her watering eyes.
"I hope you'll be happy, Rach," you tell her and she barely nods. "If you ever find yourself unhappy with your life and how things have turned out, you come find me, okay?"
Rachel rests her forehead against yours and you hate yourself for wanting to kiss her right now. Your eyes find Finn again and he looks pained as he nods his head to you.
"God" you whisper before you close your eyes and kiss her. It doesn't last long but it's okay because you never intended it to. Your smile reaches your eyes as she pulls you into another tight hug.
In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one
The o-o-o-o-o-one
The o-o-o-o-o-one
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
When you song is over, you wheel into a more quiet part of the room with Rachel still on your lap. You squeeze her thigh and she gets off of you. Kneeling in front of you, she takes your hands and looks up at you.
"Promise me?" you tell her. "Promise me if you're ever not happy any more, you'll do something about it"
"You'll... you'll be there?" she asks, her voice more broken and vulnerable than you've ever heard her and it kills you that she's not sure if she'll be happy with the path she's going down.
"Always" you tell her firmly. You bring her hands up to your mouth and kiss them both before letting go. You remove the Prom Queen crown from your head and place it on Rachel's head. She's looking at you again in a way that makes you want to do nothing but hold her for the rest of your life.
"Now go dance with your fiancé" you tell her with a smile. Her face falls and her eyes almost overflow with tears.
You can tell she's got so many questions that she wants to ask you but nothing comes out. She bows her head slightly before standing up. She kisses you on the head and goes to walk away before you grab hold of her wrist. She stops and looks down at you.
"You are happy, right?" you ask just one last time.
"I am" she struggles it out like she's forcing it, but it's there. You nod in acceptance. This is what she wants.
"Goodbye, Rachel" you say and she cries as she walks away.
A/N: The song included is 'The One That Got Away' by Katy Perry. The sequel to this is called 'I'll Make It Back Someday' if you would like to read more.