Chapter One
Sitting alone at her office staring at her half empty glass of Merlot was not how Maura wanted to spend her weekend. Though if you were to ask her what she would rather be doing with her weekend the answer should be obvious. Maura would rather be doing Jane…or more likely spend time with her. Though, Maura would certainly not mind doing Jane. Hell Maura would be in heaven if she could fuck her best friend, she was in love with her after all.
Yes, Maura is in love with her best friend. Maura has been in love with the brash detective ever since their double date with Jorge. Though, it may have seemed a little too soon to fall for Jane, she just couldn't help it. Jane had a way of cutting down all of her carefully laid defenses as she stole her heart. Over the years Maura had dropped as many hints as she could that she had feelings for her. Unfortunately, Jane was either so blind it was not even funny, or the feelings she had for Jane were sadly unrequited. Maura sadly suspected it was the latter and her feelings were not returned. Since there is no way Jane is that oblivious, she is a detective for crying out loud!
Anyway, the reason that Maura is sitting alone in her office drinking herself stupid is simple… Jane. Last week Jane had dropped by for their Friday movie night. Maura had rented Scary Movie 2 to watch since Jane absolutely love the series and Maura had to admit they were pretty funny. Everything was going great. They were laughing, wine was flowing, jokes were made, everything was great…or so she had thought.
*Flashback*
The movie had ended and they were cleaning up when Jane suddenly stopped. Concerned, Maura turned to face Jane seeing her looking at Maura with a tender yet uncomfortable look. Perplexed, Maura looked at Jane inquiringly, tilting her head to the side as she wondered what could have caused the detective to look so uncomfortable.
Jane seeing Maura's expression chuckled thinking to herself how adorable Maura looked. Hearing Jane chuckle, Maura raised a perfectly plucked brow at the detective. What on earth is going on in that woman's head? Maura wondered. Finally figuring Maura should know from her rather than someone else, she told the doctor the reason for her sudden unease watching her reaction carefully. "Casey proposed."
The moment Jane had said Casey's name, Maura knew that their good night was ruined. Maura did not even try to hide her dislike of the Veteran, and that led to many fights between the two women. To Maura's dismay it seemed that Casey was taking her place in Jane's life, seeing as this was about the second time Jane didn't blow her off to go out with Casey in a month! So you could forgive her then, if she thought that they could have a day without talking about the man. Just. One. Damn. Day! But no! Apparently not, and now on top of having to hear the man's name she has to hear this…tragedy.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Maura turned away from Jane's studious gaze to look out the window. Rain pitter pattered lightly against the windows. It's fitting, Maura thought morosely as she watched the rain, that the sky can cry for me when I cannot. Suddenly not in the mood to be in the detective's presence, she abruptly stood startling the detective who had been watching her.
Worried for her friend, Jane stood as well looking concerned as she worried what she had said that had caused her friend such distress. Jane saw her suspiciously glistening eyes and knew she had somehow upset her. But how? Jane wondered helplessly as she thought that Maura would be happy for her once she had heard the news. Obviously not!
"Congratulations Jane," Maura's somber voice pulled Jane out of her thoughts. Turning her attention back to Maura, she realized that she had gone into the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine. Jane shook her head in concern as she knew Maura does not like to drink more than three glasses of wine a week.
"Maura," Jane's concerned voice filled the suddenly tense air, as Maura shakily poured herself her fourth glass of wine for the night. Taking a gulp of the wine she let the rich taste of the wine soothe her frazzled nerves. I never thought that I would see the day that wine would soothe me more than Jane's presence.
Staring vacantly at the swirling glass of liquid, Maura wondered if she could have said anything different than what she truly wanted to say to the brunette beauty behind her. Maura wanted to tell her, she so desperately wanted to tell her not to marry him. She wanted to tell her so many reasons why she shouldn't marry him, not the least was the obvious reason. Maura wished she had the courage to tell Jane how she felt, how deeply in love with her best friend she was.
Instead all that she could think of is how much time she has until the wedding, time where she could possibly tell Jane of her feelings. But Maura doesn't need to know Jane's answer, she knew already what the answer would be. Maura knew Jane better than she knew herself and that's what makes this so hard. Fighting back the tears that longed to break free, she took a deep breath and asked the question she dreaded but desperately needed to know.
"When?" Maura cleared her suddenly dry throat as she couldn't finish asking the question. But Jane knew what she meant. Though she was confused as to why Maura was so sad, she answered her regardless of the obvious pain this conversation is causing the blonde.
"Three weeks."
With a jerky nod, Maura let out a shaky breath as she calmly stood from the bar stool she was sitting on. Draining the rest of the wine she strode to the kitchen and washed out the glass in silence. Ignoring Jane who was fidgeting due to the unnerving silence and Maura's too calm demeanor, Maura headed upstairs without a word. However, Jane's voice stopped her cold.
"So what? That's it?" Jane's angry quite voice sounded like thunder through the somber house. Taking a breath to calm her racing heart as she hoped that Jane had realized just how much she did not need this right now. Turning back to face her irate best friend, she couldn't help but gasp softly. Jane's face was flushed with her anger, her eyes were no longer sparking with laughter and warmth. Instead her eyes were darkened with fury. Her chest moved hypnotically up and down as she panted in rage, her fists Maura could see were clenched tightly. My Lord! This woman is so freaking sexy when she is angry! Maura was spellbound by the sight and she couldn't help but wonder not for the first time what it would be like to fuck the anger right out of Jane.
"That's it?! Seriously!" Jane's furious voice pulled Maura from her lustful thoughts. Gulping at the fury displayed before her, Maura took a deep breath and spoke as calmly as she could manage Maura figured that at least one of them should remain calm. "Well Jane, what do want me to say?" Though Maura tried to keep her voice calm, she could hear the annoyance in her voice.
Jane growled in frustration at the dense blonde. Seriously! Obviously she was not happy for Jane, and Jane wanted to know why. Why the hell would this make Maura sad? I mean it's not like she even likes Casey… or does she? Eyes narrowing, she thought about her blonde friend's reactions to Casey or even just mentioning his name in her presence. Thinking back on it, it may have seemed like she hated him and any time the blonde mentions his name it is always spoken in jealousy. Now though, Jane wasn't so sure. At least about Maura's apparent hate of the man. Maybe Maura actually likes him? Maybe her dislike of him is her way of both showing him that she likes him and keeping anyone, namely Jane from being suspicious.
Thinking that her theory was correct, Jane was filled with such jealousy it was insane. Casey is MINE! Jane thought possessively as she fought the urge to attack her seemingly oblivious best friend. Oblivious to her best friend's apparent revelation, Maura heaved a sigh as Jane didn't answer her. Being tired from the wine and the emotionally exhausting bombshell that Jane had dropped on her, Maura decided that she will deal with Jane later.
"Jane," Maura paused to wearily rub her eyes, all she wanted to do right now was to go to bed and sleep this nightmare away. Heaving a heavy sigh she continued, exhaustion and weariness heavy in her voice. "It is late and I am exhausted. Can we please talk about this tomorrow?" Maura damn near begged as she could feel the headache from drinking too much wine hit her. I need to go to sleep NOW! Maura internally whined.
Jane was about to tell her off for both not being happy for her and to leave Casey alone, when Maura's exhausted voice interrupted her. Seeing the exhaustion and weariness in Maura's eyes and hearing in her voice is the only thing that stopped her from pushing her blonde friend tonight. Grudgingly Jane nodded, and with a heavy sigh she stormed off to the living room to get her jacket. Normally she would stay in the guest room or on the couch. But Jane was still too upset with Maura right now to stay.
Once her coat was on, Jane headed to the door to leave having no intention of speaking to the woman behind her. Unfortunately for Jane, Maura always ruins her plans and this was no exception. "Jane," Maura's timid voice halted her, Maura was never timid so this caused Jane to stop in her tracks. Though she did not turn around to face her friend, as she knew if she did all of her anger would disappear.
Biting her lip, Maura knew she should tell Jane that she was happy for her. But Maura could not lie without either breaking into hives or it being believable. Not to mention she could never and would never lie to Jane. She can't even say that she is happy that Jane is happy when it is obvious that she is anything but happy right now. But there is something that she could tell Jane that is not a lie at all. Even if Jane would assume that she is talking about Casey when that would be the last person she would mean. Forcing a smile on her face even though Jane had her back to her, Maura told her what she felt was the only thing she could say in this situation. "I am happy that you have someone who can love you like you deserve."
Jane smiled, she knew Maura meant what she said. Though it is not what she wanted to hear from her best friend at the moment, she knew that this is as close to saying she is happy for her as she can without lying. Taking this as a victory, she thanked her and left. Jane is still mad at Maura no doubt about that, but she knew she wasn't as mad as before and she knew she was going to forgive Maura soon.
Maura stood there for a while after Jane had left, trying with all of her might to breathe through her breaking heart as she recalled tonight's events. She could hear Jane's words echoing in her head over and over. Casey Proposed. Casey Proposed. Casey Proposed. Over and over again in what felt like a constant and never ending loop. Each time the words bounced around in her brain, her heart clenched in an almost physical pain. Her heart was breaking one crack at a time.
Finally losing the battle, Maura let loose a heart wrenching sob. Collapsing to the floor, Maura pulled her knees to her chest and rocked herself, trying desperately to stop lest Angela hear her. Maura held a closed fist to her mouth with one hand, whilst the other wrapped around her middle in a feeble attempt to both quiet herself and to hold herself together as she sobbed even harder than before.
Sometime later, she had finally stopped crying. Maura laid there against the staircase staring blankly at the wall, too spent to move and too numb to care. This is not the first time she had cried for Jane Rizzoli, but Maura decided, it would damn well be the last. Jane was getting married in three weeks, so Maura had three weeks to do what she has to do to survive this. With that firm resolve in mind, Maura slowly and numbly headed upstairs to bed, hoping that when she does wake up, this nightmare would end.
Flashback End
Since that night Maura had changed. Jane was still mad at her for some reason, the guys at the precinct were happy for Jane and Angela would not stop talking about the wedding. With everyone so happy and distracted with the wedding, nobody noticed Maura had become more withdrawn. Nobody noticed when she would be more tired than usual since she is a sleepy drunk. Nobody noticed how quiet and depressed she had become. They still don't know, Maura mused as she took a gulp of her drink and shakily poured herself another glass, cursing when she realized that the bottle was empty.
With a sigh, Maura leaned back in her favorite chair. Wearily rubbing her tired eyes, she got up and was about to head down to the café to grab a cup of coffee to both sober up and to stay awake when her phone rang. Cursing under her breath, Maura stalked back to her desk and picked up the phone.
"Hello? Dr. Maura Isles speaking."
"Hello Dr. Isles, this is Caleb Bosk from the Medical Center in Australia. How are you today?"
Raising a brow in confusion, Maura wondered why this man was calling her. With a sigh, Maura glanced at the empty bottled of wine on her desk in despair. "I am doing just peachy," Maura replied dryly, if not sarcastically.
"Excellent!" The cheery man on the phone replied ignoring Maura's sarcasm. "Well I am calling to inform you that a Mr. Ian Faulkner has been admitted to our hospital due to some sort of attack." Shocked and concerned for her old lover, Maura prayed that he was okay. Although she was confused as to why she was informed, she was grateful to know where he was and what he was doing.
"That's terrible! Will he be okay? What happened? Why are you calling me about this?" Maura fired at the doctor, concern for her old love shining through. The man chuckled at her, making Maura want to strangle him.
"Please calm down Mam," the doctor said, causing Maura to bristle both at being told to calm down and being called Mam.
"Unfortunately, I cannot discuss any information with you over the phone, as I have patients to attend to and I am not allowed to discuss the patient's information over the phone. However, I can answer why I am calling you to inform you of this unfortunate news." The doctor rambled in a cheery voice. Maura barely resisted the urge to yell at the cheery man…barely.
"Why?" Maura growled, at the end of her patience with this man.
"You are his emergency contact." The man said as if she should have known this fact and was wondering why she was asking such a silly question. After thinking about it to see if she could remembered when this could have happened. It took a bit, but then Maura remember, when they were still together and blissfully in love with each other, they became each other's emergency contact if god forbid anything happened to either of them, especially as what they were doing in Ethiopia was dangerous. Though Maura had long since changed her emergency contact to Jane, it seems that Ian did not.
"I will take the first flight out tomorrow," Maura sighed after calculating the cost and the time it would take to get there in such short notice.
"Excellent!" the man exclaimed, his cheery tone caused Maura's eyes to twitch in absolute annoyance. "We will see you then! Have a nice day! Bye, bye now!" With that the man hung up, the dial tone being the only sound besides her breathing in the quiet office.
Maura blinked slowly, hanging up the phone as her sleep addled brain tried to process this. So she was going to see Ian again huh? Well, hopefully a change of scenery and company will help Maura move on from Jane. Who knows? Maura mused as she headed to the café to get her much needed coffee before she had to call her mother for use of the family jet.
I might just stay there.