But he hadn't been there.
He could imagine the scene. Daniel, frowning as he so often did lately, eyebrows low over expressive eyes. Jonas, not smiling now, frozen against the wall. Daniel taking out his semi-automatic (could have stopped it), shooting, jumping through the glass and into the room (should have been there), killing himself without a thought for people he didn't know.
Rewind.
Replay.
Repeat.
He watched Daniel, a deathbed vigil, waiting for the end of his world (not the world), the shapes moving behind his eyelids.
Rewind.
Replay.
Repeat.
Over and over again: what could he have done? What should he have done? How could he have stopped this? What could he have done? Around and around and around: a dog chasing his tail.
Rewind.
Jonas, immobile.
Replay.
Daniel, flying: crash of shattered glass, harsh pant of breath, thunder of beating heart.
Repeat.