Sirius Problems: A Tale of a Heartfelt Talk

Lily Evans woke with a start late one night, her face wet with tears. She had a nightmare that You-Know-Know had sent his minions to kill her parents and sister. Although this dream wasn't a new occurrence as she had been having similar dreams since the beginning of her sixth year, it didn't make it any less terrifying. She grabbed a tissue from the box on her nightstand next to her bed and dabbed at her eyes, then glanced at the alarm clock: It was 1:41. She sighed as she pulled on her plush red robe over her form-fitted grey t-shirt and red pajama pants, and headed down to the Common Room. Perhaps the warmth of the fire would help her to feel a little better.

She went down the stairs quietly, and as she walked over to the comfy crimson chairs surrounding the fireplace, she noticed a figure sitting there on the sofa. She walked over and sat down in one of the chairs, as she looked to the side, she recognized him almost immediately: It was none other than Sirius Black. "Hello Black, what are you doing up so late?" she asked with a small smile as she knew him to usually be his hilariously charming self, but tonight he had a rather grim expression on his face as he stared into the fire. Lily's brow furrowed as she asked "Sirius? Are you alright?" Sirius still said nothing, and Lily watched him for a few moments. Just as she was about to speak again, he said "Life's funny, eh?" Lily looked at him curiously and asked "How so?" Sirius shrugged, then said "You think you know someone, and suddenly it's as if you don't really know them as well as you used to." Lily sat quietly for a moment with her arms crossed as she looked into the fire, then looked to him and asked "Do you want to talk about it?" Sirius looked to her, his sad, silver eyes staring into her concerned, emerald ones. He said bluntly "Regulus has the Dark Mark." Lily gasped, and asked "Your brother is now a Death Eater?" Sirius nodded, and said bitterly "Yes, won't my Mum be proud. She agrees with You-Know-Who's ambitions, no doubt she'll be thrilled that her only son will be following in her and Dad's footsteps, although they never were Death Eaters themselves they might as well be." "Only son?" Lily asked, but immediately regretted it as she saw the pained look in Sirius's eyes, and said as she face-palmed herself mentally "Oh, Sirius, I didn't mean-" "It's alright Lily," Sirius said quietly, then continued "Yeah, I ran away this last Summer. They treated me like dirt anyhow so it's not like I'll be missed." Sirius paused as his eyes filled with tears that didn't fall.

Lily looked to him sadly, and walked over to where he was sitting. She sat right next to him, and laid her head on his shoulder. She then said quietly "I know kind of what that's like." Sirius asked, sounding un-phased "Do you?" Lily nodded, and said "My parents weren't like that, but my sister hates the sight of me. We used to be best friends, but the day I got my Hogwarts letter was the day her hatred began." Sirius said "That's how Reg and I used to be. The day I was sorted into Gryffindor, however, was the day my family disowned me. I was of no use to them anymore, and Reg was Mum's new favorite." Lily said "Petunia often called me a freak, and hated the fact that I wasn't "normal" like her, Mum, and Dad. My parents couldn't even do anything about her hatred for all things magic. She's getting married next year, and when I sent her a letter offering my congratulations, you know what she did?" Sirius shook his head "no", and she continued "She sent me a packet with my letter in it, with a note that said "I don't want your congratulations. You are not invited to my wedding; I will tell Mum that you said that you can't make it. I'd like to keep my wedding free of you and your freakish lot. I'd like to pretend that I don't have a freak sister for one day; you could at least give me that courtesy." I read that letter over and over again, thinking "What did I do to her to make her so spiteful?"," Lily wiped away a few tears, and Sirius put his arm around her shoulders as he said "You're not a freak: You're the brightest witch of our age." Lily smiled and said "Thanks, Sirius. I'm used to her letters like that though, but it doesn't make it hurt any less." Sirius nodded, and said "My Mum used to call me worse, and even slapped me around on some occasions. One day I just couldn't take it anymore, I packed my bags and went to Prongs' house. His family welcomed me as if I were one of their own already." Lily had a small smile upon her lips, and Sirius continued "Prongs said I could stay as long as I liked, even if I wanted to live there for a while. I just about cried and felt the happiest I'd ever been. He isn't all bad, you know." Lily nodded and replied "I know." Sirius sighed and Lily said "You never did answer my first question." Sirius said "I could ask you the same. But I couldn't sleep; now it's your turn." Lily replied "Same." Sirius nodded, deciding not to question her any further. Lily sighed and said "Since the beginning of this year, I've been having similar nightmares that You-Know-Who's lackeys will find and murder my family. Almost every night I wake up with a tear-stained pillow, so some nights I come down here to sit by the fire, hoping for it to make me feel better." Sirius asked quietly "Does it work?" Lily shrugged slightly and said "Sometimes."

They sat there silently for a few moments, and Sirius asked "Lily?" who replied "Yes Sirius?" He said, "Nevermind." Lily sat up with a slight smile and said "Don't you "nevermind" me, Black! What's on your mind?" Sirius replied "You'll think I'm mad." Lily countered, crossing her arms "I think that of you anyways. Nonetheless, spit it out." Sirius chuckled, and said hesitantly "Alright...What does it feel like..when your parents tell you they love you?" Lily looked surprised at the question, then had a small smile as she said "It's a bit difficult to describe, but it's somewhat like a warm hug: It makes you feel good even when you feel at your worst." Sirius muttered to himself "I could use that right about now." Lily smiled as she said "Oh Sirius; All you had to do was ask." Before he could object, she hugged him as a mother would her child, one hand cradling the back of his head, and the other on his back, and as he returned it, he broke down sobbing in her arms. He shook a little as he wept, and even though Lily noticed her shoulder growing wet, she continued to hug him and rubbed soothingly in small circles on his back as she whispered "Shhh, it's alright, love." She knew he never felt a mother's love, and this continued for a few minutes, and as he started to calm down, he hiccupped a bit. Lily asked gently "Do you feel better?" Sirius, whose eyes were a little puffy, his face lightly pink and his black, slightly wavy hair disheveled a bit, let her go and nodded as he wiped his face with his arm. Lily smiled and said "Good. Because if my robe was sopping wet all for nothing, I might have slapped you." Sirius chuckled lightly, and Lily said "Well I'm off to bed. Sirius, if you ever need to talk, or just want a hug, I'm here for you, okay?" Sirius looked into her warm, emerald eyes and said "Thank you, Lily." Lily said "Of course. Just know that you are loved, Sirius: Don't forget that." She smiled at him, and walked back up the stairs to her dormitory. As he watched her go, he smiled and for the first time since that past summer when James's family took him in. He felt loved, which was all he ever wanted.

The next day as he went down to breakfast with James, Remus and Peter, he took James aside, and said "Prongs, Evans is a keeper. Don't give up on her," as he winked and got his breakfast, leaving a bewildered James behind.