Mamihlapinatapai
A knock on the door awoke the young samurai from her slumber. The alarm clock displayed with red colors a time far too late for anyone to come knocking on her door without being in any sort of distress about the security. But she could feel that it had nothing to do with that. Whatever the case was, it wasn't life threatening.
So she hauled herself up into a seated position on the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes, before turning her gaze at the shadow creating a small silhouette beneath the creek under the door.
Another knock was heard and then the person outside let out a small sigh. The silhouette so clear before started to fade away but the person whom had created it came to a halt as the door opened.
"Kono-chan?" The newly awoken swordsman asked the smaller girl standing in front of her.
"Are you alright? Did anything happen?" With her intruder dressed in only a pyjama top and a matching pair of shorts, it would only fall natural to the swordsman to linger her eyes a bit longer on the perfectly formed curves of her childhood friend, but genuine concern took over when she saw the troubled look and the biting of the lip on her face.
"Can I please come in for a moment?" She responded quietly but by the way she avoided her eyes when speaking was as if she was embaressed by something.
Setsuna, a bit baffled by the unusual look on her otherwise cheerful friend, took a step to the side and motioned her hand for Konoka to walk inside.
Now inside Setsuna went over to her small lamp standing on the side of her desk and decided that it was better to turn that one on instead of the big lamp attached to the ceiling since it still was quite late and her eyes had yet to adjust to the change of settings.
Konoka now seated on the couch a bit away from her long time friend fidgeted for a few moments before letting out a heavy sigh.
"I need to tell you something." She said as she now with, it would seem, newly gained confidence looked at Setsuna.
"There's something I need to tell you.. But first I would like to ask you something." The swordsman just nodded and smiled at her friend, putting a warm and gentle hand on Konoka's own
"Anything for you." A small smile tugged at the nervous girl's lips but quickly vanished and her expression was replaced by a very serious look.
She grasped Setsuna's left hand with one of her own. "What do you think about me?"
The question left the swordsman quite stunned at first. What did she feel about Konoka? She was a cheerful young girl that no one could dislike, she was an excellent student and was almost always on time for school except if it wasn't for her crazy red-haired roommate and she was a great cook. She was always very outgoing and nice to people, even if they didn't deserve it. Setsuna was just about to say those things but something in Konoka's eyes told her that she wasn't after that kind of answer.
Something in the back of Setsuna's mind, and dared she ever say it her heart, kept telling her that this question had more to it then that.
She disliked making assumptions, especially if it was about something deep as this and so she dodged the question with a new one to avoid making a fool of herself.
"What do you mean?"
Konoka retracted her hand that had been holding on to one of Setsuna's and licked her lips as she stared at her friend "What am I to you, Secchan?"
If it was at all possible to vanish into thin air and be able to just not exist anymore Setsuna would have chosen to do that in this very moment. Having the very question being asked to her was almost more then she could handle. Because she knew what she felt for Konoka. But she had never in her wildest dreams even thought about telling her. Konoka was the first person on her mind when she woke up in the morning and the last person she thought about when going to bed. She didn't know whether Konoka would like that or not.
Noticing the tension in the air, Konoka felt a small pain of guilt in her chest for putting her protector in such an awkward position.
Setsuna felt her hands becoming moist and she awkwardly tried to brush them off on her pants.
The room was thick with an awkward, almost unnerving, kind of feeling and Setsuna could feel her heart beginning to pace after each and every quiet second that passed by.
Konoka began to shift uncomfortably on the couch as she tried to swiftly dismiss it all, and quickly return to her own dorm room.
Even though she did want them to come to some sort of conclusion, her visit had been of an uncharacteristically spontaneous act with no thoughts on what her question would bring.
"Look, Secchan, I'm sorry for just barging in like this.." She started and began to move off the couch when a hand all of a sudden grabbed a hold of her own. Konoka paused and felt her heartbeat increase as she saw the way Setsuna looked at her. It was as if time stopped and there was nothing but silence, and yet there was so much noise.
The atmosphere altered itself in a second, it was like being hit by a bus. And they looked at each other. Like they looked at each other when they first met.
Setsuna felt it. Her heart was beating so loud she could hear it. She wanted to tell her so badly. That if Konoka left she would not be able to breath. Not be able to sleep.
Konoka unconsciously tightened her grip on Setsuna's hand. Deep inside her heart she had always known. A part of her that kept telling her that if they parted, she would not only lose Setsuna, but a part of herself. It could not be true, not when she had those eyes upon her. Looking at her like nothing else mattered. Like they were meant to be.
"Don't go." Setsuna finally said, quietly breaking the spell.
Slowly, she rose from her seat and kept Konoka's hand securely in her own while Konoka herself followed her every step, her now increased breathing making her chest rise and fall slightly faster then before.
Setsuna looked down at the red carpet beneath them, still holding Konoka's hand in her own she chose her words carefully. She finally looked up, meeting Konoka's intense gaze with determination.
"I will never.. Love anyone as much as I love you." She finally said. Finally. The words came out much easier then she thought they would. Like it was second nature.
It was swift, took only a second. But before they both knew it their lips met. It was a chaste kiss. It was over before it already had begun. And they both locked eyes with each other. The world didn't feel so complicated and everything else besides here and now felt insignificant. Konoka let out a small breath and swallowed as she tried to steady her voice. "No one else." she whispered.
"No one else."
A/N: Thank you for reading! I rewrote this about 4-5 times before I finished it. It was quite difficult and I still feel as if the ending was a bit rushed. You don't get to know much about what happened before Konoka came to Setsuna's door but I'll leave that up to your imagination. It's supposed to mainly be from Setsuna's point of view but I realized that I would do them no justice in showing only one part so I switched a bit between PoV's to make it more coherent to follow.
The title "Mamihlapinatapai" is a word from the Yaghan language spoken by the Yaghan people in South America. It's actually quite a short word considering what it means and what it means is basically "A look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start." With that being said, I feel as if Mamihlapinatapaiis a perfect word to describe Setsuna and Konoka's feelings for each other. At least this sappy ol' writer thinks so.
If you have the time, please do write me a review telling me what you think. I'm happy to receive both positive and negative remarks!
