Alright. For anyone that is reading this, if you're looking for a cute, cracky, fluffy fic, this is that. But only half of it. The other half is a bit graphic, angsty and sad. So, just forewarning you in advance people.
Other than that, I hope you enjoy it and PLEASE comment. I like to know what people liked about it. It makes me know that humans are reading it and not robots.
Oh, and it's also in 8 parts (And maybe plus an epilogue, not sure though yet. Haven't gotten that far on it quite at this time.)
Enjoy ^w^
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"Can't they give a clown a rest?" The Joker laughed tiredly as he continued to run through the dilapidated streets. His body was sending off signals that this was too much and he needed to rest, but he blatantly ignored it as there was no time for such a leisurely maneuver.
Gotham's finest had been chasing him relentlessly for the past week or more and it was starting to take its toll on the clown. They just wouldn't stop. It even started to appear that wherever the Joker was going to be that day, he was always greeted with a visit from the nice men in blue with there ever-present--and extremely obnoxious--siren screeching, light flashing cars. Now if I had one of those, I would make it so much more interesting with just a little modification here and there! He mused to himself as he made a flip over a fence in a highly unskilled way when a squad car was catching up on his tail. Maybe I should just invest in a damn car. He growled when on the other side of the fence there were two of them coming straight at him. That's it! I'm getting myself a cop-finding GPS, and I don't care who knows it!
Joker didn't mind being chased. Hell, bring it on! It was all fun and games for him in the long run. He didn't even particularly care who was chasing him, just so long as they understood that they weren't going to win. No prize for accomplishing this task, and the amateurs always knew to try it once. If, that is to say, they lived through it. But what Joker didn't like, was when the police thought it their right to hound on him every second of the day, without a moments rest. Why were they so upset with him in the first place? He hadn't done anything major for a while, not with them showing up at every location he went to. They didn't give him a chance to let his creative juices flow. So why be so hellbent determined to send him off to the funny farm when in his mind they have no justification for doing so? He's just going to break out again, so why keep trying? Maybe it was because a week ago he had broken out and had defaced the MCU building with slogans and graphic doodles of some of the men who had died by his hand. Don't take it so seriously boys. I was just trying to be respectful to the dead by making sure you didn't forget them! Honestly, the more I try to help...
What he hated most of all was when the police harassed him, his favorite 'night rodent' would never come out to play. Now that he was a wanted man by the police as well, Batman didn't want to risk capture when he had more to lose than the Joker did if caught and 'stripped down'. His identity was more important and, okay, fine. Joker could sort of understand that. But to not even try and make any attempt to see him because the now enemy of both of them was always surrounding Joker lately, was getting on his nerves and festering there until he unleashed his rage out on whatever was nearby.
Joker took a sharp turn to the left and into an alleyway. It smelled of rotten garbage that had baked in the sun for too long. His panting was echoing off the walls and was soon drowned out by that familiar siren sound. The Joker skidded to a stop when he met with a solid brick wall at the end. Wonderful. A dead end. He turned around to run back, but the police car was already there. The lights filling up the enclosed space so every object was seen. Joker tried and of course failed to climb the sides of the wall in any attempt to get away. When the vehicle was several feet away, they flooded a spotlight on him so as to point out every detail of his person to basically say 'you're not going anywhere.' Joker had to put a hand in front of his eyes and he let out a feral growl at being cornered. He backed away as best he could from the bright light, heart racing at the thought of losing his freedom already. I don't want to be caught! Not now! Not now! I just got out!! I haven't even seen Batsy yet!! It's not fair!!
"This is the police!" No, ya think?! "Drop your weapon, put your hands over your head, and lay flat on the ground!"
The Joker darted his eyes from the car in front to the walls around. He was angry at how easily they had caught him. Well, they're not going to get me just yet. To his left he saw an open window a ways up next to a drainpipe and decided to take a chance and break for it. He startled the two officers when instead of doing what he was told he ran towards them and jumped on the hood of their car. With a running leap he lunged for the drainpipe and scurried his way fast to where the window was and threw himself in. By the time he had completed this the officers had fired off two shots and were immediately back in their car radioing in for other squad cars to cover any exits of the building the Joker now occupied.
As soon as he was inside Joker sprinted out of the room he was in and ran down the hall. He slid on the railing to get down the stairs and busted out one of the doors and back into the street. Without thinking of where to go--but not wanting to run into anymore cops--he kicked open the door to the building next door and slammed it shut. He then ran upstairs looking out every window to see if anyone noticed he had switched housings.
The siren calls grew louder as more of them showed up. Alerting the whole neighborhood of their presence as they made a secure parameter around the building. Some of the officers, with guns at the ready, covered all the doors and prepared themselves to go in. Once again, one of them spoke into the megaphone in their car saying they had the building surrounded and the Joker should come out with his hands up. They were causing such a scene that even nearby criminals were stopping to watch in awe as the police were getting ready to catch the Joker, the one criminal (aside from Batman) who was near impossible to nab.
The only funny thing was, is that they were at the wrong building.
Joker couldn't help it. He started laughing at this pointless charade. The 'best and the brightest?!' Oh-ho! I think not! Joker tried to pull himself together when he knew that once the good ol' boys in blue raided through the structure and discovered him not being there, it would only be a matter of minutes before they figured out he had moved to another building when they hadn't noticed. He hummed his way out of the room, scratching his gloved fingers on the already ripped wallpaper, eyeing for the best way out.
But then a sound caught his full attention. It was a growling, shuffling sound that was coming from one of the rooms further down the hall. Curious as to what was going on, he thought he'd make a detour to find out just what it was. It sounded like a bunch of dogs fighting one another, and as he got closer he was most definitely sure of it. He crept up as silently as he could to not disturb them as he peeked around into the doorway.
Yep. He was right. It was a bunch of dogs. About five to be exact. Wild dogs who looked like walking skeletal structures with their skin suctioned in. It was clear they hadn't eaten for weeks. Some of them clearly had bugs crawling around on them, with visible moving lumps under the skin. Two of them had missing ears. Most likely from other dog attacks or they got infected and fell off. One had yellow puss oozing out of one eye, while another's lips were gone and walked like a natural on only three legs. But they all looked positively rabid.
However, their appearance wasn't what made the Joker stop and stare at them, seemingly hypnotized. It was what they were eating that held him entranced.
The dogs were so ravenously hungry, they were ripping apart what looked like a cat. Each one of them took a piece of it and shook it harshly back and forth to tear it into smaller pieces. When one dog tried to take a portion of it from another dog's mouth, a savage and short fight ensued. Joker could even hear the bones crunch from the carcass when the dogs couldn't differentiate between what was edible and what wasn't.
When Joker looked down he saw that there was more. Not just guts littered the floor, but smaller bodies as well. Joker bent down slowly to examine one of them. It was a kitten. Or what was the remains of a kitten. Its tiny little neck had been broken and its stomach ripped out. He passed it back and forth between his gloved hands, amazed at how small and light it was. He soon tossed it back to one of the dogs that was close by. It quickly gnawed on it like a chew toy. "Good boy." He mused to himself. You'll eat anything when hungry enough, won't ya?
Joker let out a silent laugh and turned to leave the dogs to their 'meals', when suddenly there was a high-pitched squeak. Then again. And again. He turned on his heel with a confused and bewildered look on his face thinking What the hell is that? He rested both hands on the door frame and leaned in slightly to look around. He did a double-take. He had never noticed the tiny ball in the corner. Joker squinted his eyes and saw from the shadow a little pink mouth peek out whenever he heard the squeak. His eyes went wide for a moment when he figured out what it was.
It was a kitten. And it was still alive. It wasn't hard to assume that the mother cat had most likely had her kittens here, when a pack of starving mutts heard the babies mew and attacked. The mother must have put up one hell of a struggle to save her kittens, but she was no match for the five beasts and was taken down, along with the rest of her kittens. All except this one in the corner. How it lived this long is anyone's guess.
The helpless baby was crying out for its mother, not knowing it had died trying to protect it. Its cries were filled with such fear, that for whatever reason, had struck a nerve in the Joker that held him there, staring at it.
Joker was having a weird battle within himself for what to do. His mind kept nagging Forget it, let's go. Who cares what happens to it? Let's get something to eat, this is making me hungry. But his body refused to move. Every part of him was starting to itch with the urge to leave, but he just stood there and stared. He didn't understand why, but he simply couldn't get his body to do what his head wanted. And that was frustrating him.
One of the dogs who had been sniffing the air twitched its ear in the direction of the squeak and turned. Joker stopped breathing for a second as the dog froze at the sight of the little thing, then charged, unthinkable intentions on its mind.
Joker doesn't remember doing it. He doesn't remember when or why he moved forward, but there was something about the fact that a little defenseless baby with no way to protect itself, its entire family slaughtered in front of it by something bigger and stronger, had pinched a nerve in the Joker's subconscious so acutely, that he ran over, grabbed a metal pipe off the floor and slammed it hard into the oncoming predator. The dog yelped as its body crashed into the wall. It continued to cry out when it seemed its lower back had been broken from the blow. It yelped and yowled, throwing its head around trying to bite its own tail while dragging its back legs away from the source of the new pain. The other dogs stopped what they were doing from the first initial howl and turned towards the Joker, now snapping and growling at him. Joker stood his ground in front of the kitten, protecting it for god only knows why. He hunched his back and twirled the pipe menacingly, growling just as fierce to the other pack. Spit was flying from his mouth as his eyes blazed with hate at the beasts in front of him. He took a step forward.
Well, blinded with hunger or not, the dogs understood that something more savage and unpredictable was challenging them. They stopped growling and whimpered, looking at the floor and back at the big scary thing which seemed crazier than they were. Sensing he was clearly the alpha male, they dipped their ears down and tucked in their tails. They couldn't flee the room fast enough when the Joker let out a kind of a bark. The other dog coward where it lay, shivering. Too scared to move, and in too much pain to try. It whimpered knowing it was going to be killed now that it was injured. Joker ignored its pathetic form, still quite upset from what happened but not knowing why. He had worked himself up by it and was now breathing heavy from the sudden adrenaline of anger. He threw the pipe against the wall where it bounced off and hit the floor with a clang, the dog flinching away from it.
But then Joker snapped his head to the doorway and froze momentarily when he heard the shouts of orders outside. Oh damn, they know I'm here! He cursed harshly under his breath for doing what he did and not leaving sooner. He started to become aggravated and ran to the doorway. He had to leave, and he had to leave now. But he stopped at the exit when he heard the damn squeaking again. It seemed to hold a power over him. He looked over at the kitten, then peered out into the hall. He did this about four times while his mind practically screamed at him to get going, and why wasn't he out the door already?
Without thinking about it, he shut down his mind, yelled in frustration and ran back into the room. He scooped up the tiny noisy ball, shoved it into his inner coat pocket and fled out of the room. Cradling his hands over where the kitten was, Joker ran for the stairs but stopped when he saw the front door open. He darted out of the way in time before being seen and ran to the other end of the hall and peered out the window. He looked around for an alternative but saw none. As he heard footsteps on the stairs mixed with muffled squeaks from his chest, Joker mumbled to himself about never coming to this part of town again as he took a few steps back then ran full speed at the closed window and smashed through it.