Pancakes and Bacon
Hey all, this is a oneshot set after the last episode. Jamie is back with Nathan and Haley. I know I should be updating my other stories but I've been so busy at work and stuff that I didn't have it in me. But this little one shot was on my mind for a while, it sort of turned out how I wanted it to, I'm a little sleepy right now but please enjoy and review.
On another note, I am also sad to report that due to work and my personal life, I may not be updating as frequently anymore, especially within the next few weeks. We'll see, I'm just so tired when I get home and I don't have it in me. If I don't go out tomorrow, I'll try to write another chapter of any one of my stories and I'll also shoot for an update over the weekend.
Xxxxxxxx
"And they lived happily ever after." Nathan said closing the book.
"Read me another one!" Jamie looked up eagerly at his dad.
"It's already passed your bedtime.. and you had a long day Jim Jam."
"But I'm not sleepy.. I want another story!"
"Jamie.." Nathan tried to say in a more serious tone.
"Please daddy!!" Jamie pleaded with those piercing blue eyes.
"One more story wouldn't hurt." Came a voice from the doorway. Both Jamie and Nathan turned around to see Haley standing there. She reached over to the shelf and pulled out another book.
"I got this." She said in a low voice and offered Nathan a half smile. He got up from the bed and awkwardly got up and tried to avoid Haley, who replaced him on Jamie's bed.
"Daddy are you going?" Jamie asked.
"No.. I'll be back to tuck you in." Nathan tried to sound cheerful and left the room. He paused looking back on his wife and son and that sense of loneliness came creeping back to him. He was already loosing Haley and now he almost lost his son. Everything that was most precious to him was so close to him but yet so far. Carrie kidnapped his son, Carrie tried to take him away from his family. The thought made him sick, but he was more than angry and furious. He was guilty. It was his fault everything happened, his fault that he let things go this far and now he was paying the price.
The signs were all there but he missed them, citing that it wasn't that bad. There was the drinking, swimming naked, and the flirting. All things he tried to dismiss, but that kiss. That kiss crossed several boundaries and he should've let her go right there and then. He thought he could handle it but in the end it all back fired on him and he ended up loosing regardless.
A short time later, he came back to Jamie's room and found Haley still reading. He looked on trying to burn the moment into memory for he felt like he would never have one in a while, if ever. Haley stopped reading when she noticed that little Jamie had indeed fallen asleep.
"He's finally out." Nathan said in a low voice as he walked inside.
"Yeah." Haley tried to act calm. "Good night baby James." She said in a low voice and kissed his forehead. Nathan moved on the other side of the bed and gave him a kiss on top of the head. "Night buddy."
They quietly got up and walked out of the room. Haley's mind was so jumbled, so many things happened today, it was hard to comprehend. There was the wedding and Lindsey and Lucas and then with Jamie and then there were things with Nathan. Haley never had such a long day. Her thought were broken when they reached the hall way and Nathan walked a few feet in front of her and grabbed a duffle bag from the floor.
She looked at him curiously.
"I just got some of my clothes." He said in a low voice. "Brooke and Peyton offered to let me stay with them… umm Lucas just wanted to spend sometime with Lily tonight.." Nathan tried to look away. "… but Karen and Andy agreed to stay here tonight.. but a police car will be outside just in case.."
"Nathan.."
"Look… you don't need to say anything … I'm not going to fight you on this."
"Wha.. what're you talking about?"
"The divorce." He said plainly and it was as if a ton of bricks landed on both of them. Nathan drew in a deep breath. "I know it's my fault this happened.. if I would've just done something about Carrie sooner.." He let out his breath. "You're right to end this marriage.. I wouldn't want to be married to me either.. I just .. I'm just sorry I hurt you again.. and our son.."
"Nathan.." Haley tried to say something.
Nathan threw his hands up trying to hold his composure. "Just please don't completely cut me off from Jamie's life… I guess he's the only one I have left." He said, water forming in his eyes and turning away.
Haley tried to say something but it seemed her son beat her to it.
"DADDY!!" Jamie called out and both Nathan and Haley turned to face him. "You're leaving?" Jamie pouted, his own tears forming.
Nathan put the bag down and walked over to his son. "Hey buddy.. look.. …" Nathan tried to get the words out, trying to keep face in front of his son. This was not the time to break down.
"What your daddy is trying to say… " Haley cut in. "Was that he was just putting his stuff back in our room."
Jamie gave his mom a curious look and then turned to his dad. "You're not leaving?"
"Of course he isn't." Haley answered and smiled. Now it was Nathan's turn to look at Haley with a confused look. "Now.. no more delays.. it's time for bed young man." Haley said a serious voice.
Jamie nodded and grabbed his dad's hand. "Can you tuck me in Daddy?"
"Sure thing buddy." Nathan gave a smile.
A short time later, Nathan came out of Jamie's room and closed the door behind him. Haley was there and immediately grabbed his arm and dragged him into their bedroom.
"What the do you think your doing?!" Haley glared at him.
"Haley… I don't.. .. wh.. what're you talking about?" Nathan was really confused now.
"You don't get to get up and leave… no not after today!?" Haley sounded frantic but kept her voice down so that Jamie wouldn't hear from across the hall.
Nathan stood there speechless and dumbfounded while Haley scratched her head and paced back and forth.
"What.. what do you want from me?" Nathan finally broke the silence.
"I don't know.." She quickly responded still pacing. "I still don't know what I want of myself.. I'm just so tired.." She put her hand on her forehead. "I'm tired of not eating .. not sleeping .. not being able to concentrate … tired of wondering what happened to my husband.. what's going on with my best friend.. and Jamie…" Haley's voice stumbled as tears started to flow down her face.
Nathan reached over to her and wiped a tear from her face, but as soon as his hands touched her face she flinched and took a step back.
"Don't touch me!" She said.
Now it was Nathan's turn to scratch his head. He could was frustrated by Haley's behavior but he couldn't be too upset, it was his fault she was like this. He knew she loved him and that it was hard to let go, but she let go anyway. Now, it was his turn to respect her decision.
"I'm.. I'm sorry." He mumbled and turned around to leave. Haley's mind was so torn but one thing was for certain, Nathan couldn't leave, not again. She grabbed his arm and crashed into him, letting the tears fall freely.
"It's all my fault." She balled. "I hired her.. she would've never came into our lives if it wasn't for me.."
"SHhh.. don't say that.. it's my fault.. I let her get too far.." Nathan tried to reassure her and put his arms around her, thankful she didn't pull away.
"I pushed you away." She tried to compose herself.
"I pushed myself away… I'm serious Haley.. if you want me to leave.. I won't fight you …"
"Why?" She looked up at him.
"Because you were right about everything .. you didn't deserve what I put you through.. what I've been putting you through.."
"And what about what I've put our son through… all I kept thinking about was how he just wanted his daddy home .. for us to play Rock Star together.. and if he never came back to us I almost robbed him of his dad… what kind .. what kind of mother am I?"
"A good one." Nathan was quick to reassure her. "It's not your fault I acted the way I did .. you didn't do anything wrong." She looked up intently at him and he was getting lost in her gaze. He missed holding her like this, to feel her body pressed up against his. As much as he loved it, he hated it for it was another reminder of what he had lost. He put his arms down and tried to gently break free.
Sensing him push back, she looked down with a sad face. "Do you love me?" She said softly, continuing to stare at the floor.
"Yes.. of course I do."
She looked up at him now. "Then why do you hurt me.. why do you keep hurting me?" She said as the anger came rushing to her and she clenched her fists and jabbed his chest.
"…" He stayed silent, knowing that any reason he gave was not good enough for what he had done to her and their family.
"I told you to let me in Nathan… all the way.. but I guess there's a part of your heart that I'll never reach." She said sadly, tracing her hand over his heart.
"Is that what you think?" He questioned her.
"I gave you all of me when I was sixteen years old .. from the moment I first kissed you I knew there was no one else I wanted to kiss .. that only knowing you for a short time, I wanted to spend my life with you.. you know me Haley.. you're the only one who knows me." She looked up at him, her facial expression telling him to go on. "You've seen me at my best.. and at my worst.. you have all of me .. I might've kept things from you but I was really going to tell you .. I was just trying to process everything first …. When I lost basketball.. I felt worthless .. that I let you down.. I let everyone down."
"Nathan.." She caressed his cheeks.
"But when I thought I lost you .. I wanted to die." He turned away from her. "And I almost succeeded." He said in a low voice. She cupped his cheeks with her hand and turned his face back to her.
"Wha.. what're you talking about?"
"Cooper's car.. the accident … not so much an accident." He said plainly.
Haley wasn't surprised, she had always assumed so, especially since Lucas talked to her and suspected as much. She hadn't pressed the issue when they talked about it all those years ago, but it was a silent understanding that Nathan did try to kill himself.
"I love you so much .. I just have a bad way of showing it." He said frustrated.
"Sometimes.." She said her hand caressing his cheeks. "Not all the time." She brought his head down to hers and their foreheads locked. "I don't want a divorce.. I'm sorry I said it.. but I still don't know what to do…"
"What does your heart say?"
She gave a half smile. "It's telling me how much I hate you…" She chuckled and Nathan gave her a weird look. "..because you took it from me… it was lost to me the day you first kissed me .. the night you told me you loved me.. when you asked me to marry you .. twice …. Don't hurt me Nathan.. promise me you won't hurt me.."
"I can't make that promise.." He said honestly. "I made it before and I ended up breaking it… We make mistakes Hales.. I'm not perfect .. you're not perfect.. but what we are.. well we're perfect for each other." They smiled at each other.
"The only promise I can give you .. the only one that has never wavered was the one I made to you when we got married." He stopped and thought back to that faithful day and recited the vow he made to her. "… someday this beach may wash away.. the oceans may dry.. the sun may dim.. but on that day I'll still be loving you .. always and forever."
The tears came back to Haley as she tried to compose herself. Her hands were running through his hair and she hesitantly moved her lips forward, slowly at first but letting herself go her lips crashed into Nathan's. He held her tight as their lips merged. It was hard and fast, both missing the feel of each other. She grabbed his shirt and led them to the bed, where Haley fell on her back and Nathan on top of her.
This was going too fast, emotions were too high, and Nathan didn't want to risk pushing her away by getting intimate so soon.
"Hales.." He managed to say in between kisses. Sensing he was pulling away, she kissed him harder. "I need you Nathan.. all of you." She said as she frantically started to unbutton his shirt.
"Are.. are you sure?" Nathan asked, his resolve breaking.
"You hurt me so much.. but you're the only one who can take the pain away.. take it away Nathan.. please." She begged and he couldn't hold back anymore as he discarded his shirt and the rest of her clothing.
--
The next morning, Jamie woke up and could smell breakfast from the kitchen. He walked down stairs and found his mom by the stove.
"Morning mama!"
"Hey.. there you are." She bent down and kissed him on his head. "You're just in time for breakfast… come here.. I have pancakes for you." She said as she scooped him up and placed him on the stool.
"Wh.. where's daddy?"
"Was someone asking for me?" Nathan smiled as he walked in and gave his son a good morning kiss on the forehead and then giving a quick peck on the lips to his wife. Jamie smiled seeing his parents together.
"Oh.. Nate.. I forgot the bacon." Haley said looking at Jamie's pancakes, which already had cut strawberries for eyes and whipcream for a nose.
"Oh.." Nathan said as he went to the other end of the counter and grabbed the plate full of bacon. "Here you go." Nathan said as he placed it next to Jamie. Jamie grabbed a curved piece and placed it on his pancake.
"Look mama a smiley face !!" Jamie said in an eager voice.
But Haley's smile was bigger as she turned and looked at the two most important men in her life.
The End.
Please review.. and btw OTH is back next Monday !! mark it down !!