LONELY STREET
There was something oddly familiar about the chill Garfield felt in the air when he woke up that morning, but at first he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"Birr, it's freezing in here," he said. "Hey Odie, tell Jon to turn up the heat, will ya?"
When there was no answer Garfield opened his eyes. When he found himself in a darkened room that looked like it hadn't seen daylight in years, he knew what had happened.
"Oh crap," he thought. "I've done it again…I'm in the Lonely House."
Garfield figured that his first task was to find food, but the kitchen cupboards were bare and the refrigerator was empty. Of course it would be, he thought. The last time he had been here he'd never ventured outside, but now Garfield decided he had no other choice.
"But what if I get lost?" he asked himself. "Oh well, I guess I could always hail a cab…"
Garfield wiggled his way through the boards that blocked the kitchen window. "Free at last!" he thought as his feet touched bare earth…but then he took a look around.
The entire neighborhood seemed to be abandoned. The houses were all boarded up and the lawns overgrown with weeds. "What the heck is going on here?" Garfield looked up at the sky, which was dark grey, although he couldn't see any clouds.
"Okay, this is weird, even for me. Now how the heck do I get out of here?"
"You can't, old friend."
Startled by the sound of a human voice in this wasteland, Garfield turned around and saw a person he hadn't seen in twenty-five years. It was a thin, wiry man with a bushy mustache who looked sadly at him.
"Hey, I recognize you-you're Lyman! Jon used to talk to you. What happened? Where the heck are we?"
"In a place where nobody knows your name," Lyman intoned.
"This isn't a 'Cheers' rerun, pal," Garfield retorted. "Now what's going on?"
"Have you ever seen a TV show or read a comic strip and saw a character disappear, never to be seen or heard from again?" Lyman spread his arms. "This is what happens to them. We all end up here."
"He's right," a stocky, blond-haired guy behind Lyman said.
"Who the heck are you?" Garfield demanded.
"That's Chuck-the older brother from 'Happy Days,'" Lyman informed him. "We sort of became friends here."
"Are you sure you guys are just friends?" Garfield joked. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," he hastily added.
"It's a good thing you've still got your sense of humor," Chuck answered. "You're going to need it in this place."
"Now wait just a minute," Garfield retorted. "First of all, nobody's forgotten me; I'm still hanging out with Odie and Jon. So either you guys are wrong or somebody screwed up. Who's in charge around here? I wanna see the head man!"
"Nobody's really in charge," Lyman replied. "As for being forgotten…it happens to the best of us. You're one of us, now." Lyman and Chuck started coming towards him.
"Hey, if you guys wanna be the Stepford Boys that's you're problem. I'm getting out of here!"
Garfield dodged their grasp and ran around the house. He saw the fence that he normally used for his nightly performances and had an idea.
"Maybe Jon's just not thinking about me right now," Garfield thought. "If I can do one of my numbers and get his attention, I could be back eating lasagna in no time!" He looked behind him as Chuck and Lyman came after him, their arms outstretched, still moaning, "You're one of us now…you're one of us now…"
"Jeeze, guys, find another station, will ya?" Garfield climbed on top of the fence, cleared his throat, and said, "For my next number, a little Frank Sinatra." He hummed a few bars of "My Way" and then began "Singing" the whole song.
"Yaaargh! Augh!" Garfield could see Lyman and Chuck grabbing the sides of their heads in pain.
"Make it stop!" Lyman pleaded.
"Hey, I'm just getting warmed up. You guys wanna hear my version of 'Feelings?'" Garfield cleared his throat.
"No! Please!!"
"OK, then let me go home where I belong. If you guys are lonely, you've still got each other for company."
"But we need company," Lyman said. "We're the only ones here!"
"All this guy ever does is tell dumb 'Knock-knock' jokes," Chuck complained. "Do you know how boring that gets after twenty-five years?"
"Since you guys want me to stay, I guess I'll have to oblige you with another number," Garfield replied. "How about a little Wayne Newton?" He began "Singing" the opening lines to "Danke Schoen."
"All right, all right, you can go!" Chuck cried.
"Just please don't sing to us anymore!" Lyman added.
"Aw, I was just getting warmed up," Garfield complained, but even as he spoke he suddenly found himself standing on the kitchen table. Jon was holding a cup of coffee and looking at him.
"Garfield, why are you standing on the table like that?" Odie poked his head out from behind Jon's shoulder. Even he looked puzzled-well, more puzzled than normal, at an rate.
"Uh, I just decided to get some exercise for once." Garfield yawned and stretched his arms. "Okay, that takes care of that. So, what's for lunch? Do we have any lasagna?"
THE END