Fanfiction - House
"Out of Town"
Cuddy is away on a conference for three days. House is stuck with the ducklings, on a case. Why is he grumpier than usual?
Chapter 1- Confusion
Gregory House sat in his office, repeatedly throwing his tennis ball against the wall. He was not in a good mood this morning. The ducklings wondered why…
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"What's up with House this morning?" Cameron asked. "He's in a bad mood."
"He's House, what do you expect," said Chase.
"Yeah, but he's really cranky. He didn't even eat his Reuben sandwich. Do you think it's because Cuddy's not here?"
The Australian laughed. "House sad because Cuddy's away! I thought he'd be skipping, well limping with joy."
"Mmm, that's what I think is a bit strange."
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Back in his office, House had turned on the TV for 'General Hospital'. He had the volume so loud you could hear it at the end of the corridor. He was so fixed on the screen, he barely even glanced as Cameron peeked her head cautiously around the door.
"House," she said quietly.
He didn't reply, just turned the volume up more.
"House!" she yelled.
Still no reply. She walked over to the TV and turned it off, then sat down on his desk. He swung his leg off the desk, hitting her in the knee; and stood up, so he towered over her.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to touch other people's stuff?" he said, voice dripping poison.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to hit girls?" she replied, determined not to let House win.
"Whoops, must've missed that lesson. Oh well," he answered sarcastically.
Cameron sighed. Why did she think this was going to be easy?
"House, I know you've been a bit angr-"
"How's the patient?" he interrupted.
"Huh," she squeaked. Her mouth flew open and she blinked a couple of times.
House sighed exasperatingly. "I wouldn't keep that mouth open too long. The flies are bad today."
Cameron's mouth snapped shut, a hint of pink on her cheeks.
"Well?" House questioned. "How's the patient? Geez, what do I have to do to get answers around here?"
At this, he smirked at her and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. She turned a darker shade of pink.
"He's not getting any better. Still has the splitting headaches, nausea, and numb limbs. CAT scan and MRI both showed nothing. Have any more ideas?"
He grunted and turned his back. "Not yet." Cameron wanted to stay and talk more, but the body language the older doctor was giving her said it was time for her to leave. She sighed and left. By the time she was at the end of the corridor, 'General Hospital' was blaring once more through the floor.
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Lisa Cuddy sat at the conference table, drumming her manicured fingers against the table. Normally, the speaker would have her full attention, but today she couldn't keep her mind off her hospital, and in particular, one of her staff members…
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Chapter 2- Emails don't Lie
James Wilson was on the prowl for his best friend. He was supposed to have met him in the cafeteria 30mins ago. Never before had House been late for lunch. There was something wrong. As Wilson walked past House's office, he looked in. House wasn't there, but his computer was on. Wilson smiled evilly, then checked the corridor for House and went in. He sat down at the computer and clicked the email button.
"What have you been hiding, Dr House," he muttered, looking through the list.
"Whoa, who's this? Lisa Cuddy!" Wilson laughed.
He clicked open, and quickly read the letter.
To: Gregory House
From: Lisa Cuddy
Subject: I miss you
Hey Greg, what you been doing? I'm so bored. Wish you were here, you'd cheer me up. I'm on my break, so I can't write much. Miss you heaps. See you tonight. Love Lisa. XXX
Wilson sat dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he'd just read. 'Miss you heaps!' 'Love Lisa!' Could it be possible that his two best friends were together, and he didn't know? He decided that the only way to find out was to talk to House. Exiting the program, he stood up and went to find his friend.
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House sat at his piano, a bottle of scotch in his left hand, absently playing with his right. Only one hour till Lisa comes back, he thought happily. He let the word Lisa roll around in his mind, savouring its sweetness.
"Oh crap," he thought. "I'm turning all romantic and mushy. Need more alcohol."
Just as he was taking another swig, there was a knock at the door. House got up and opened it.
"So, missed me so much you had to leave early huh," House started to say, but stopped when he saw a smirking Wilson.
"Oh it's you, what do you want? Julie kicked you out again?"
Wilson rolled his eyes, and sidestepped House to enter the room.
"No, actually, I came to talk to you."
"Well," House said faux cheerfully. "Mission accomplished. You've talked to me. Guess that means you can go now."
He tried to push his friend out the door, but Wilson didn't go, just walked over and sat down on the couch. Annoyed, House shut the door and followed him.
"Look, you can't stay," House sighed.
"Why," Wilson smirked. "It's not as if you're expecting anyone is it?"
He was having fun watch House squirm, as it hardly ever happened. He wondered how long it would take until House cracked and told him the truth.
"If you must know, I am expecting someone," House said, as if that was the most normal thing in the world.
"Who, a hooker?" Wilson replied.
House smiled. "You could say that."
"Would this hooker go by the name of Lisa Cuddy?"
"Why, had a great night with her, did you?"
House watched his friend for a second before saying, "Say yes, I'll shove this cane so far up your ass it'll come out your mouth." He waved his cane around threatingly.
"I read your emails today. Found a pretty interesting one from your BOSS." Wilson looked up and saw he'd gone too far. House had a look on his face that would make the devil cower.
"Get out, now," House said so quietly that Wilson barely heard him.
Wilson didn't say anything, just got up and walked out the door, his tail between his legs. He'd never seen House so angry. Not even the time Cuddy gave him 30hrs clinic duty because he stood on some rich donator's foot. House was really, really mad…
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Cuddy drove through the town as fast as she could, heading straight for House's home.
"Oh god," she thought. "I haven't seen the man for three days and already I'm like a lovesick teenager. But it's worth it; it's worth it every time I'm in his arms… even if he does give me stubble rash."
She pulled up outside his house and sighed happily. She was home…
As she walked up to the door, she wondered what House was doing. She smirked as she imagined what she'd like him to be doing...
She opened the door but couldn't see him. She was quite disappointed. Sure, she hadn't expected a party, not from House, but an appearance from her favourite person would have been nice.
Then she saw a lump on the sofa, and an empty scotch bottle on the table.
"Oh Greg," she sighed.
She walked over and sat down on the sofa at his feet, removed her shoes and jacket, and lay down against his warm body.
"Huh, Lisa," he mumbled sleepily.
"Hey, sleepyhead," she smiled, rolling over to wrap her arms around him. "Wanna go somewhere more comfortable, like the bedroom?"
"Why would we want to go somewhere more comfortable? What do you have in mind?"
"You'll just have to find out, won't you."
She stood up and pulled him up with her, drawing him into a passionate kiss. They staggered towards the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. The last thing Cuddy remembered that night was House pulling her blouse over her head…
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Chapter 3- Staying Professional
House and the ducklings were in the conference room, talking about their patient.
"Why aren't we getting anywhere?" House yelled angrily. "We've had this case for a week, and we're still no closer. If we take any longer, he'll be dead!"
"It's not our fault," Foreman yelled. "Everything we try he doesn't react to, and all the tests are negative."
"Yeah House, give us a break. What's your problem?" said Cameron.
"He had a big night last night, with his BOSS," said a voice from the door. It was Wilson.
"What are you doing here," growled House.
The ducklings all raised their eyebrows at him.
"So House, you obviously didn't enjoy it then," Wilson smirked.
"For your information, WILSON, IT was effing awesome. It's you that I'm not enjoying."
The ducklings stared at them. They had no idea why House and Wilson were fighting.
"Nice to know I'm appreciated," said a quiet voice at the doorway. Everyone's head snapped around. It was Cuddy.
"H…how long have you been there?" stuttered Wilson.
"Long enough to hear you," she replied.
"I…I'm so sorry, Dr Cuddy," Wilson groveled.
"Save it Wilson. I'll talk to you later."
Cuddy turned her ocean blue eyes on House's crystal one's.
"I think we should tell them, Greg."
"What do you mean GREG, what should you tell us, what's going on!" Cameron burst out.
Everyone stared at her. She blushed deeply.
"Umm… I was just umm… yeah," she mumbled.
"Right, Cameron's lost it," House said. "Anyway, I think you're right, LISA (when he said this, he looked deliberately at Cameron. She gave him one of her rare evil looks). They need to know about what we've doing."
"What you've been doing?" Foreman echoed.
"Yeah, we've secretly sneaking around having romp sessions," House whispered loudly to Foreman, giving him a big wink.
Chase snorted. He obviously thought House was joking. Then he saw Cuddy going all red, and trying not to laugh. Chase suddenly looked scared.
"Oh no," he whispered. "You're not…," he couldn't finish.
House snickered. "You bet. I'm completely serious."
"Ha," Wilson yelled. "I knew it!" He grinned stupidly.
"Stop it Wilson, you're going to wet your pants," House said.
He looked over at the ducklings. They were all white and looked like they were going to be sick. House thought of something he could do to make them even sicker. He looked at Cuddy. She was still trying to suppress a laugh. House rolled his eyes inwardly. Good old Dean of Medicine; always trying to look professional. See how she makes this professional…
He walked over to her and putting his hand under her bum, picked her up and slung her over his left shoulder. She couldn't take any more. She finally cracked, and started laughing her head off. As she finally drew breath, she let out a giant snort. This set House off. He started laughing just as hard as her. Probably the first real laugh he'd done in five years. He dropped Cuddy and leant against the table, still laughing. Cuddy staggered, then leant against him. They stood, laughing against each other until they realized that the other four people in the room were staring at them. Especially Cameron; her eyes were practically falling out of her head.
Cuddy cleared her throat and smoothed out her clothes. Trying to sound professional, she said "Well, I have to get back to work. Dr House, er, carry on."
She walked out, a smile still on her face. A long silence followed her.
"Come on people, back to work," House said, clapping his hands. "It's not like anything important has happened to stop you."
He chuckled, popped a Vicodin, and with a sly grin on his face, went into his office.
Four pairs of eyes followed him.
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Chapter 4- Not again!
Cuddy sat at her desk, working her way through the endless pile of manila folders. Every third one seemed to be connected to House.
She sighed and covered her face with her hands. She wasn't sure if it was good or bad that the ducklings and Wilson knew about her and House.
"I bet Foreman doesn't care," she thought. "Chase is probably just confused, Cameron is probably just lost and sad, and Wilson… oh great, Wilson's the worst. The whole nurse's station most likely knows. He can never resist impressing a bunch of young, single nurses."
She heard the door open, but didn't look up. She didn't need to. She knew too well who the uneven footsteps belonged to.
"Has everyone recovered from the shock yet?" she said to her hand.
The person sat down across from her and put their head on the desk.
"Will they ever?" came the dry reply.
She looked up. House's eyes were upwards, looking at her face. She bent down and took his chin in her hand.
"You've shaved," Cuddy noted.
"What, I shouldn't have?" House replied sarcastically. "You're always telling me to smarten up. Changed your mind now?"
Cuddy rolled her eyes. "No, I was just commenting. You like nice."
House snorted. "Nice? I'll show you how nice I am."
He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, diving into her neck. Cuddy squealed. Cameron chose this moment to walk through the door. Everyone froze.
"Dr Cameron, how may I help you?" Cuddy said, blushing and pushing House away.
Cameron just stood there, looking very white.
"Oh, um, it's nothing important. I'll just go and let you, um, get on with it, I mean, get on with whatever you were, um, doing. Sorry. I mean goodnight."
She backed out of the room.
"Well, tomorrow's gonna be awkward," House commented.
"Of course, you could always make it easy for me by giving me the day off."
"Yeah, or I could just make you do clinic all day. Then you wouldn't have to see her."
House thought for a moment. "Unless she came to clinic, then I'd see her. I think getting the day off is better."
Cuddy groaned and pushed him out of the room.
"Goodnight Greg."
"What, no kiss goodnight?"
Cuddy opened the door, gave him a peck on the cheek, said "Now go, I have to work", and shut the door.
House leant against the closed door.
"No chance in hell for mind-blowing sex tonight," he thought grimly.
He sighed and turned to exit the hospital for the day.
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END