Author's Note: Here ya go, yet another Gaara Discovers. This one is a bit Gaara-Hinata centric, as it is Valentines day and is supposed to be mushy and crap. I'll try not to make it too sickeningly sweet that you puke. Wish me luck! Read and review, please! And Happy Valentines Day!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Gaara Discovers Valentines Day
"Be my Valentine!"
Gaara stared speechlessly back at the enormous, smiling girl, who stood before him holding out a red cut-out paper heart covered with tremendous amounts of glitter and lace. He didn't know whether to take the thing or run away screaming. What on earth was a Valentine, anyway? Was it some kind of sparring partner? Eyeing the girl's bulging muscles, Gaara quickly decided he didn't want to be this girl's Valentine if it meant having to battle her and her huge triceps. But if he refused the girl's declaration, wouldn't that simply put him in an even worse position? But then again, if he said yes, he'd surely get the stuffing beaten out of him, or perhaps something even more horrible might happen if the term 'Valentine' meant something totally different than sparing partner, and Gaara was none too keen on finding out what that horrible thing might be.
"Excuse me, what?" Was all he could manage.
"Be my Valentine," the girl repeated. "It's Valentines Day, silly! I made this for you because I like you! Now take it and let's go on a date!"
"D-d-d-date?" Gaara stammered, eyes going wide as panic set in. Now he was even more confused. A Valentine was forced to go on a date with someone against their will? Where was the logic in that? What kind of horrendous tradition was this, this 'Valentine's Day'? Gaara's mind began furiously whipping up escape plans and excuses as to why he couldn't be this girl's hostage when-
"Oh, no you don't! He's gonna be my Valentine!" Another girl suddenly appeared, thankfully smaller than the first one. She glared at her rival and turned to Gaara with a sappy smile, holding up a red card covered with colorful hearts and bows. "Here, Gaara! Happy Valentines Day!"
Gaara froze, eyes shifting from one girl to the other, weighing his options and desperately searching for an opening with which to escape. He was so dead. Now they both wanted him to be their Valentine, whatever the hell that meant. Gaara knew what he had to do. He had to get home and get to Kankuro as quickly as possible. With his older brother's boundless knowledge, he'd quickly be brought up to speed on what the hell a 'Valentine' and 'Valentine's Day' was.
"Back off! I was here first!" The larger girl barked, giving the newcomer a rough shove. Gaara winced as he saw firsthand that the girl's muscles were not merely for show, as he'd been hoping.
"So what?" The other girl miraculously kept her footing and faced her opponent bravely. "Can't you see he doesn't like you? He's my Valentine now! Get lost!"
"Hah! As if!" Gaara couldn't look away as the two girls readied themselves for battle, crouching in defensive positions, hands on their kunai. He wanted to say something to make them not have to duke it out right there in broad daylight, but nothing came to mind, and he was forced to watch in horror as the girls lunged at one another.
"What the heck are you two doing?" A voice caused the two girls, including Gaara to freeze. Turning his head ever-so-slightly, Gaara felt his breath catch in his throat as he eyes fell upon a voluminous gathering of females cluttered behind him. The one who'd spoken crossed her arms and tapped her foot at the first two, displeasure clear in her eyes. "Gaara's not either of yours! He's our Valentine!"
"Oh, crap." Gaara's mind had gone blank, his body moving on instinct alone. He turned swiftly and sprinted as fast as he could for the nearest alleyway. His body fueled by adrenaline, he caught the herd of females by surprise and was able to procure a lengthy head start before they realized what was going on and the great chase began. If he could just make it home…
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Gaara slammed open the door and threw himself in, viciously kicking the door closed with a foot as he landed face-first on the front door rug. His loyal sand quickly shot out and firmly locked the door closed against the hordes of women, young and old, who'd been pursuing him all morning. Gasping for breath, Gaara pushed himself up onto his elbows and glanced back over his shoulder to see if the coast was clear. Egad! They could see him through the window of the door! The swirling sand quickly shifted and snapped the blinds down, blocking from the women's view the image of a terrified red-head. Breathing a sigh of relief, Gaara collapsed on the floor and just lay there, not caring how dirty the carpet was or how he'd smell like feet for the rest of the day. Hey, that might actually help…
"Bad day?" Kankuro poked his head into the hall and regarded Gaara with a sympathetic look. Gaara lifted his head and stared back at his brother pathetically.
"Whyyyyy?' He whispered, voice rattling in his throat.
"It's Valentine's Day." Kankuro shrugged. "The day when people who like each other get together and do cutesy stuff. It's also the day when you can tell someone you like them and not be considered crazy."
Alright. Now Gaara knew what a 'Valentines Day' was.
"Why now?" He asked. "Why not before?"
"Actually, I pretty much expected this." Kankuro munched on some chips he'd snatched from the cupboard. Temari could yell at him later, but it was worth it. "Since this is the first year you've been labeled as 'sane', girls consider it safe now to approach you. It'll probably be like this next year, too."
"I'm seriously considering becoming a murdering psychopath again," Gaara stated truthfully, picking himself up off the ground and dusting his shirt off. Kankuro guffawed, nearly choking on his chips.
"Hah! Yeah, right! I'd do anything to be as popular with the ladies as you," he chuckled.
"Don't say that." Gaara's eyes had gone wide with remembered terrors and horrible images. "Don't ever say that."
"Anyway, you gotta Valentine?"
"…What's a Valentine?"
"Oh. Right. Beginner." Kankuro chewed on some more chips while he thought of the easiest way to explain the term. "A Valentine is pretty much someone you like. Y'know, have feelings for or whatever. And on Valentines Day, you get them something special, to show 'em you care."
Gaara stood silently, a soft blush spreading across his pale cheeks as he realized he did have a Valentine. Then the panic set in. What on earth could he get Hinata for this strange holiday? Christmas was the only time he'd ever actually given her something, and that had just been an on-the-spot kind of thing, plus he didn't really know that much about her. What would she want? Some ninja weapons? A dress? Perhaps if he killed her father for her…no. That wouldn't work.
"Um…" Gaara shifted his feet around nervously, staring shyly at the floor. "What do you think is a good present?"
"Ohhhh, so you do have a Valentine?" Kankuro grinned like the Chesire Cat, sending chills up Gaara's spine. "Calm down, Gaara. I won't ask who. Well…" He munched thoughtfully on another handful of chips. "The most popular gift is a box of chocolates. You can't go wrong with that!"
"Yes, but if it's the most popular gift," Gaara replied, "then it's like I just took the easy way out. And I don't want that. I want to get Hinata something that she'll really, truly like."
"Whoa! Your sweetheart is Hinata?" Kankuro laughed aloud. "Geez! I shoulda known! You two are almost exactly the same!"
"Except I never had a crush on Naruto."
"Thank goodness!" Kankuro shook his head in bewilderment. "Anyway, you should go ask some other people their suggestions too, especially some girls. They'd know what you could get her."
"And just how am I going to do that with half the Sand Village chasing after me?" Gaara asked bluntly, gesturing over his shoulder to the shadows of the crowd of women, still trying to peer through the closed blinds of the door in a vain attempt to see their beloved Valentine.
"Don't worry about that." Kankuro crumpled up his now empty chip bag and chucked it into the trash. Closing his eyes, his placed his hands together in a Shinobi symbol. "Henge!" A plume of smoke engulfed Kankuro, blocking him from view for several seconds before dispersing.
Gaara's eyes oggled as he saw a mirror version of himself standing before him. Everything was perfect – the hair color, the dark eyes, the skin tone, the clothes, everything. The only thing that hinted there was something amiss was the amused smile that didn't seem to belong plastered on the copy's face.
"They won't ever be the wiser," Kankuro said, winking at his brother.
"If you get caught, you're a dead man," Gaara warned.
"Oh, I know." Kankuro scratched his head, wondering how Gaara could keep his hair so neat and yet so disheveled at the same time. "I'll just treat this as an S-Rank mission. Later!" As Gaara quickly ducked into the broom closet to hide himself, Kankuro flung open the door and dashed out, pursued by a seemingly endless stream of females hollering for him to be their Valentine.
As the din quieted down, Gaara slowly peeked out from the closet. It was safe to come out. Sighing, and with a slight smile tugging at his lips, Gaara slipped out of the house to begin his search for a present worthy of Hinata.
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"Gaara?" Temari asked, unsure.
"Shhh!" Gaara motioned Temari to be quiet, tugging the hood and scarf that shaded his face closer. He glanced around nervously, just to be sure no-one had heard. Thankfully, none had. "You can't say my name here. It's too dangerous."
"What are you, a secret agent?"
"I wish. Then I'd at least get a gun." Gaara sat down next to his sister, whom he'd found resting on a bench in a quiet section of town. "I need to ask your advice on something."
"You're trying to find a Valentine's Day present for Hinata, right?" Temari smiled. Gaara stared back at her in awe, greatly impressed.
"H…how did you know?"
"Oh, please." Temari snorted and tossed her head. "I'm your big sister. Of course I know."
"Ah." Gaara made a mental note to never try and lie to Temari. She'd probably kill him. "So, what do you think?"
"Why not some flowers?" Temari gestured to a delicate bundle of blossoms sitting beside her. "I got these from Shikamaru. I'm sure she'd love some."
"Mmm." Gaara wasn't too sure about that. Judging by all the girls he'd seen today toting around roses and whatnot, he didn't think flowers would be quite special enough for Hinata.
"Why not go ask the others in Konoha?" Temari suggested, sniffing at her bouquet. "They might have some good ideas."
"Yes, you're right," Gaara agreed, standing up from the bench and adjusting his hood. "I'll just-"
"Who the hell is that?"
Gaara turned to see where Temari was pointing and winced as he saw a rather beat-up looking version of himself running for his life in a mad dash across the rooftops of the village. Chasing after the prey were even more women than before, scrambling about in the streets below and some also on the rooftops. As the copy jumped down and was lost from sight, Temari looked at her brother, dumbfounded.
Gaara sighed. He better explain. Thankfully, he could do it with one word.
"Kankuro."
He left quickly, followed by Temari's hysterical laughter.
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The trip to Konoha was uneventful, to say the least. Gaara kept his hood and scarf on, just in case anyone else had the implication to label him as their Valentine. Perched atop one of the teetering buildings of the village, Gaara caught sight of his first source of advice and quickly hopped down to begin his investigation.
"Get her some ramen!" Naruto Uzumaki suggested instantly after being questioned, bonking Konohamaru on the head to silence him as he spoke to his Sand-village comrade. "I bet she'll like that!"
"No, I bet you'd like that," Gaara thought to himself.
"Hey, how come you're wearing that hood thing?' Konohamaru asked, staring up at Gaara with a dubious expression on his bratty face. "Are you sick or something?"
"Yes," Gaara answered. "I'm a leper and I don't want anyone to see my rotting flesh. Say, I think I dropped one of my fingers. Can you pick it up and give it back to me?"
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!" Konohamaru ran shrieking away down the street. Naruto laughed his ass off.
"Thanks anyway." Gaara turned to search out someone else to ask.
"Oooh! Get her a pretty ribbon!" Sakura squealed, pointing at her head as she did so. "She could tie her hair up with it and look so cute!"
"Yeah, and she thankfully doesn't have a huge forehead so she won't look like a freak!" Ino shot nastily at her rival before fluttering her eyelashes at Gaara. "You planning on getting me anything?"
"Er…" Gaara inched backwards, feeling a bit of déjà vu. "Look, it's Sasuke!" He pointed behind the girls.
"Where?!" Both girls whirled around, eyes wide and sparkling. Gaara ran.
"You could take her out to eat," Choji said while snacking on some sweets.
"Hmm. Maybe." Gaara mulled it over.
"Gaara! There you are!" Ino magically appeared at the end of the street.
"I gotta go." Gaara gave Choji a parting wave and sped off. The plump (not fat!) genin caught on and was able to stop Ino by offering her some of his candy.
"Get her some weights to train with!" Rock Lee cried, arms up in the air and in a favorite pose of Gai Sensei's. "Then you two can train together and discover the beauty of youth!"
Gaara thought back to the huge girl who'd first asked him to be his Valentine. He definitely liked Hinata the way she was now, and would do anything to keep her that way. The thanked Lee and went on his way.
"You lay one hand on her, and you're a dead man." Neji whispered dangerously, staring point-blank into Gaara's eyes with his piercing white orbs.
"Don't be so mean, Neji!" Tenten reprimanded, giving him a not-so-gentle punch on the arm. As Neji winced in pain and rubbed his now-aching arm, Tenten tapped her lower lip with a finger thoughtfully. "Hmm... Why not some hair pins? Girls like stuff like that, right?"
"Yeah, normal girls," Neji mumbled to himself.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tenten demanded as Gaara took this as his cue to get the hell out of there. Time to ask people who actually knew Hinata.
"You could get her a puppy!" Kiba declared with a wolfish grin, holding up Akamaru, who barked in agreement. "I can get one for you, free of cost!"
"Uh…" Gaara regarded the drooling Akamaru with a wary eye. "I don't think her father would approve. He'd probably kill it the first time it had an accident on the floor."
"Yeah, you're right." Kiba frowned in disappointment. "Sorry."
"…" Shino stared silently back at Gaara, mysterious eyes shaded with his trademark rounded sunglasses. Gaara stood staring back for several seconds in uncomfortable silence before slowly backing away from the enigmatic genin and running like his life depended on it when he'd gotten a safe distance away. Shino didn't really seem to mind, but simply adjusted his glasses and gazed up at the sky. "I was going to say… write her a poem."
"Why the hell are you asking me?" Sasuke glared at the reclusive red-head with obvious dislike. "I don't have time for any of that romantic crap. I have to kill my brother."
"Yeah…good luck with that." Gaara knew he shouldn't have bothered.
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Well, he'd tried. Gaara had asked everyone he knew in town except Hinata for advice, and still nothing. No amount of flowers, chocolates, or anything else for that matter seemed good enough for Hinata. Gaara sighed and kicked at the Konoha dirt, frustrated. The sun was setting and he still didn't have a present. What was he going to do? What if she came up to him and said-
"H-hello, Gaara. Happy Valentines Day."
Yeah, just like that. Wait, what?
Gaara whirled around and nearly yelled aloud when he saw Hinata standing a few feet behind him, twiddling her fingers and smiling softly. Damn! He was so screwed.
"Uh…Happy Valentines Day," he returned, not knowing what else to say.
"I'm sure you got plenty of Valentines Day gifts," Hinata went on. Gaara thought back to the rabid hordes of women who at that moment were probably dismembering his unfortunate brother back in the Sand village.
"No, not really."
"Oh?" Hinata blushed and looked down at her feet. "Because, to tell the truth, I'd probably be a little jealous if you did."
"Hinata, I…" Gaara couldn't bring himself to say it.
"What is it, Gaara?" Sensing it was important, Hinata looked up and met his gaze.
"I…I'm sorry, Hinata. I didn't get you anything for Valentines day." Gaara admitted shamefully, feeling absolutely horrible. Hinata blinked in surprise, then startled Gaara by laughing aloud.
"What are you talking about? I don't need anything," she giggled.
"You…you don't?" Gaara asked, not understanding.
"Of course not." Hinata smiled warmly. "Knowing you care for me is enough."
"Oh…okay…" Gaara, suddenly feeling awkward, looked up at the sun and saw it had sunk halfway down the distant horizon. "Um…I should probably get going…it'll be dark soon."
"Alright. Bye." Hinata waved as Gaara turned and started walking away. He got about ten feet before he found his legs were strangely stuck to the ground and refused to budge another inch. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw Hinata still standing in the same spot and regarding him with a confused look.
"Is something wrong, Gaara?"
"No…" Gaara said slowly. "But I just realized I know what to give you for Valentines Day." And with that, he turned around, walked up to Hinata, and wrapped his arms around her in a loving embrace. Hinata went stiff with shock for a second, then relaxed and laughed again, a beautiful, musical sound to Gaara's ears.
"Oh, Gaara! It's perfect!"
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As Gaara walked the darkened streets of Konoha, a small voice in the back of his head reminded him he should be getting home, but he ignored it. He smiled to himself, once again feeling that strange sensation of warmth that he would never get tired of. Valentines Day was a good day, Gaara decided, if it made him feel like this. He found himself feeling anxious for next year's Valentine's Day.
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Meanwhile, back in the Sand village, another 'Gaara' wasn't having nearly as much fun.
"Where the hell is he?" Kankuro growled as he pressed a hand against the bleeding gash in his forearm. He swore one of those girls had bit him. They were like animals. And if Gaara didn't come back soon, there wouldn't be much of his older brother left. "Come on, how long does it take to give a girl a box of friggin' chocolates?"
Sighing, he leaned up against the window sill he was currently hiding on. Maybe it was worth it. Helping his kid brother find love after so many years of fear and hatred. Heck, this was probably just what the doctor ordered. Kankuro wouldn't be able to thank Hinata enough if she helped Gaara become a better person. So, perhaps the pain was worth it. Perhaps it would all work out in the end. Perhaps-
"Gaara! Be my Valentine!"
Perhaps he'd punch Gaara in the face when he finally got back. If he came back at all.
Kankuro turned and ran.
The End
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Author's Note: Awgh! So…damn…fluffy! (Shoots self in the head) Okay, I'm better now. That was probably the most mushy thing I ever wrote. And strangely, really fun to write (I love making fun of Ino and Sasuke). And torturing Kankuro. Mwahahahahahaha! Mmmkay. I really gotta go now. I have to study for my French AND Geology tests that are two days away. Later! Hope you liked it! Read and review, please!