One
Summary: Inspired by the Metallica song of the same name. Xander sees darkness for the first time.
ŌŌŌ
Xander was walking home after a brutal day, looking forward to the relief that just being with his love with bring. It had been one of those days, the kind that you just knew would not be good the second you woke up. Of course, most days he woke up with an impending sense of doom, but, this had been different.
To start out with, his site had suffered three crushing blows: first when the suppliers had accidentally ordered too few support beams, which had essentially caused a two week delay as he had to wait that long to get in some more. The second blow had come when the clients who had ordered the building had called to let him know that they were canceling the job, losing the crew and company about a year's worth of work. No matter how much he'd tried, Xander couldn't change their minds.
The most horrible thing, however, had occurred fifteen minutes later. After that phone call, Xander had decided that he'd need some time to figure out how best to inform the guys about this. Most of them were family men who needed the work to make ends meet, and that meant immediately searching for a job as soon as he told them. With that in mind, he'd started writing up recommendations for everyone, even those who he felt didn't really deserve it. He felt that everyone need a fighting chance.
Unfortunately for Jeffery Morrison, that recommendation would mean nothing. Fifteen minutes, almost exactly after that phone call, Jeffery had fallen twenty-five feet to the ground. Xander hadn't seen him fall, but, he'd heard the impact. The moment he'd seen Jeffery, he'd know that he was a goner…mostly because of the fact that there were several rebar sticking through his frame. The paramedics had arrived ten minutes later, far too late to do anything.
After contacting his relatives, Xander had headed to the magic box in hopes of finding something to take his mind off the day. Instead of which, he'd found himself totally ignored as Buffy and Spike prepared for some new evil, an apocalyptic demon who wanted to open the Hellmouth. While he'd offered his help, to quote the platinum blonde vampire, 'If we need a glorified bricklayer, we'll get someone from Home Depot.'
So, needless to say, he'd taken off, hoping to find some solace at home.
He opened the door without much preamble, taking a quick look inside to make sure everything was as he'd left it. Aside from the note Anya had left him about going to LA to pick up some items for the store, it had been…except for the window that he knew he hadn't left open.
His suspicions already arouse, Xander stopped moving for a moment to check his surroundings. He immediately picked up the sound of movement in the bedroom. On instinct, he pulled out his stake, ready for a fight if need be. He cautiously approached the bedroom, making sure so as to not make a sound. He was surprised, however, when the person who had been back there came out, stuffing a few items into his sack. Xander charged the masked man quickly, hoping to catch him off guard, which was about the only thing he'd done successfully that day.
The only problem was that he'd been too successful, as he'd forced both himself and the home invader through the window to the ground below.
Xander groaned out in pain as he reached behind his back, immediately noticing the sharp object imbedded in his side. He felt along it, noting that it was only a flesh wound and was no real danger…didn't mean it didn't hurt like Hell.
Xander flipped himself over and tried to get up as quickly as possible, only to receive a kick to his shoulder for his trouble. Before he could even get a look at his assailant, the bastard forced a stun gun into his neck, sending God knows how many volts through his already injured body.
As darkness began to claim him, he thought…
Lost a client…no equipment…lost a friend…friends don't need me, trust a vamp over me…my girlfriend left town without even telling me, even if it was for business…and, now, unconscious on the Hellmouth as some bastard makes off with my stuff…can my day suck any worse?
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He woke up as another wave of electricity went through his system, bringing him back to the real world. Unfortunately for him, the real world happened to include him being tied down to a pentagram with a very large demon hovering over him.
"Good," the demon said with an odd accent, English but guttural, "Now the fun can begin."
"…You're the demon who's trying to open the Hellmouth," Xander said, growing angrier by the second.
"Very astute," the demon said with a toothy, and very frightening grin, "And, you are the human sacrifice that I need to open it up."
"…Gee, the fact that I'm on a slab, naked, with a demon hovering over me couldn't have possibly lead to that conclusion," Xander ranted.
"You're rather amusing," the demon said with a grin, "Shame you'll be the first."
"…Can I ask you a question," the demon looked at him oddly, "Seriously, I'm not stalling, I'm honestly curious."
"…Very well," the demon allowed warily, "What is your question?"
"Why are you opening the Hellmouth?"
The demon scoffed and said, "To release the creatures from Hell and to start the true rule of evil, and the elimination of all humans. What kind of a question is that?"
"You do realize that, by doing so, you'll be handing over complete and total control to those demons, right?"
The demon stared at him, his look giving away the fact that he had never once considered that. He stuttered out some words for a few moments before deflating and sitting down on the nearby rubble, his forehead twisted in thought.
"That's always been the first thing that comes to my mind when someone tries this," Xander said, "The only time it made sense was when those three demons wanted to sacrifice themselves, because they were fanatics willing to die. You seem to be in it for power, which you won't get if you free them. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if they just killed you right from the start."
The demon stared at him, as if someone had opened his eyes for the first time. In spite of the situation, Xander just had to take a moment to laugh.
"…You know, that's the first time I've ever heard something intelligent come out of a primate's mouth," the demon said, standing up as he did so, "I think a drink is in order. I've got to sort out my life."
"Hey, that's awesome, but, before you do that," he lifted his arms up, "Would you mind cutting me loose?"
The demon stared at him for a moment, before saying, "Oh, crap. I forgot about the ritual."
The demon came to his side, picking up a book from the floor as he did so.
"Ritual," Xander demanded, "What ritual?"
"To free the demons," he couldn't hear him, but he could hear the flipping of pages above him, "Ah…oh, boy. According to this, the ritual has enough residual energy to last for ten years…and it goes into effect the second you die."
"…That's not good, seeing as how I live on A FUCKING HELLMOUTH," Xander shouted, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!?"
"I didn't think I'd reconsider," the demon defended, "There's got to be some way to counteract this."
"How about you make me immortal or something," Xander suggested.
"All immortality rituals require your sacrifice," the demon said, "That defeats the purpose."
"…I'm out," Xander said.
"…Aw, here we go," the demon set the book down and went over to the other side of the room, where he squatted down and began to go through a bag that Xander hadn't seen before.
"What," Xander asked, "What'd you find?"
"I don't envy you, human," the demon said as he stood back up and pulled out some liquids, "This is a fate worse than death."
"What," Xander demanded, starting to get scared, "What are you talking about?"
"It's called 'limbo,'" the demon said, pouring some liquids onto his skin.
"…You're making me bend underneath a big stick," Xander asked, confused.
"I'm going to force you into a state of nothingness," the demon said, tossing some herbs onto him, "It will keep you alive for twenty years, no matter what, but…you will be trapped in darkness, like a coma, and you'll be able to feel everything going around you…"
"…But," Xander pressed.
"…In that world, you'll be forced to feel pain for the full twenty years," the demon said with an odd note of sympathy, "You'll be in a coma, being tortured in your own mind, unable to respond to it in any way."
Xander stared up at the Heavens, not knowing what to say.
"It's the only surefire way to keep the Earth spinning," the demon said, slicing his own wrist and letting the blood pour onto his skin, "Sorry, kid."
Xander knew what he had to do. He always knew that, if the time came, he could, would, and should surrender his life to save the world…only, this was beyond what he'd ever thought he'd encounter.
"…Do it," still, no matter what came his way, he was ready for the challenge.
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"…he is essentially brain dead," the doctor explained, "There's nothing more we can do for him. His parents have already come down and informed us of their wish to keep him on life support. I'm…so sorry."
"Could you leave us alone with him for a moment," Giles said.
The doctor nodded, taking his leave as quietly as possible. Buffy was leaning in Giles's arm, softly crying into his suit, blaming herself for not having been there to save him. Willow was there, too, leaning on Tara for support, quietly tearing herself down for not being able to him. Anya was on her way back to Sunnydale, but there was nothing that she could do. Spike stayed quietly in the hall, not sure what he could do…if there was anything he could do.
And, through all that pain and despair, there, in the darkness, Xander screamed.
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A/N: Happy New Year. I am currently suffering jet lag in the worst way, here across the pond in Norway, so I decided to upload this one-shot I wrote on the plane while listening to this song. This song has a lot of meaning to me, as I have a friend whose sister is currently in a vegetative state. My girlfriend read it before we landed, and loved it…well, loved isn't the right word, but, you know what I mean.
Hope you all had a happy holiday.
AS