Heyo minna-san!!! Hope everybody's doing fine. This is one of my fics although frankly speaking it's really not a fic. It's a letter. Well, the history of this fic goes from the time wherein my English teacher asked us to make any kind of letter that would become our project for the second grading period and as a result is this letter.

I really don't know how I would call this--whether a fic or whatsoever. I'm really not good in English as well. ANd hey, I'm just a human!

And for those who doesn't like sad stories with sad endings: DON'T READ THIS ONE. It's really a sad one. Even my friends got mad at me because of the ending of the letter. I don't know what made me do it like this.

Comments, suggestions and even wild reactions are accepted. Constructive criticisms are as well accepted. Flames would be accepted by my trash bags...

MITSUI HISASHI IS DEFINITELY NOT MINE. I know. I know. Wish he belongs to me but...he was owned by somebody else...hay, so sad....

DEAR MICCHY

October 14, 2001

Dear Micchy,

Hello! I hope you're doing fine as you read on my letter. I don't mean to tease you or whatsoever by calling you by that name. I can't help it calling you in that way.

Ah, how do I start this letter anyway? Hay, you don't know either way, right? Hay, what I know is that it's such a pretty long time since the two of us got a talk. To be counted, it's been fourteen long months since you left. Silly, the number of months corresponds to your jersey number. And for those "fourteen" months that you were away, things were likely different – especially when you're not around.

I mean, it's just that when someone lacking inside the group, it's not the same anymore. Akagi-sempai still have that grunting look on his face as he yells inside the court not to forget his Herculean strong knockings at Sakuragi-kun's head. Ryota-kun is still not giving up on being the third best point guard in the national league. He's still persisting to be come the best of the point guards. He's still trying to hook-up Ayako-sempai, but still, he was rejected back. Poor guy. He has been dumped once more. Rukawa-kun still hasn't change: talks a little, glares a lot, plays alone, and sleep a lot as long as there is no basketball practice.

Hay, even though they still haven't changed, something seems to be lacking – YOU. I missed your beautiful and accurate 3-points shots and those somewhat boastful movements around the court. I kept on wondering why I keep on watching you play even at your practices in the past. Hah! Maybe it's just because I'm too attracted to you.

In this part of the letter, I guess you're shocked reading some direct words from a fellah like me. I know. I know. I don't know when did I start in liking you. Maybe when the first time I saw you as you did that beautiful three-point shot or maybe as I get to know you better did I came to like you. I tried to resist this feeling I am having but I justI just can't avoid you. It's just that the more I resist my feelings to you, the more the feeling is being suppressed in my heart. I'm sorry

I really feel sad for I got to have no chance to embrace you up tightly in my arms feeling your warm breath palpitating at my ears. I felt mad at fate because it's too impossible for me to have you and hear you say the words I'd love to hear. I'm like a food being mad at Suzaku, the God of Love because he's so tone-deaf to hear my wishes for him to make you feel the same way. And it really makes me sad because you can't feel the love I want to give.

As I continue living, my heart felt vexatious knowing you can't return the love I am having at you. You're too concentrated in becoming the best that you can be in the eyes of my grandfather, Anzai-sensei ( as you call him ) who continues to support you every step of the way. You even left Japan and went to USA to train yourself and become the best player, hah, just like Rukawa-kun's dream, and then goes back here again and become the next coach of Shohoku High.

My heart is filled with so much desire of stopping you go away yet I know I shouldn't be selfish about it because it was your dream. Who am I to stop someone who really doesn't belong to me?

I even tried to tell to you how I feel the time you're going to leave but then I failed to tell you about my feelings when I've heard the words, "Take care, nee-chan. And don't forget to fulfill your dreams just like what I'll be doing." I was astounded hearing the word nee-chan' from you. You're just treating me like I was your little sister?! And that group of words that says about fulfilling your own dreams, I decided not to stop you. Because of those remarks from you, I think I have no right to tell you how I feel.

God! It sickens me seeing the plane you're boarding leave the airport. My heart somewhat felt a knife knock at my heart giving me pain. Akagi-sempai remarked you were a great loss for you are the best three-pointer of the team. But Sakuragi-kun boast again saying there is nothing to worry for he is Sakuragi-tensai, the genius in Shohoku Basketball Team. And the two of them made another scene at the Airport.

It was a funny display as the two beat up each other. The scene made a faint smile on my face but the pain I am having hasn't been relieved. I tried to control my emotions as much as possible as we left the airport. But as I see them smiling more, the more burdens I had inside my heart. I felt that I could no longer hold on my tears so I've decided to walk on my own way. After I've informed them that I have somewhere to go to, I've run away as fast as I can and cried releasing all the pain I'm having inside. It's such a pain-striking event knowing it'll be long again when I'll see you once more. It'll be long again when I'll have the chance of telling you how much I care for you – how much I love you so much.

Did you know my life seems like an icy place when you left away? I don't know if I can continue to go on with my life. Many people were around me cheering me up yet failed to do so. I was very surprised when Rukawa-kun, who we all know as a very cold person, tried to do his best in amusing mebut just like the others, a failure.

They failed because they don't know what was the cause of my pain. I concealed myself not letting anyone know what I was feeling, keeping myself from my friends to know. I tried to forget you by drawing myself to Sendoh-kun who was always ever supportive to me – because he felt a very special feeling for me. I tried to be happy with him but I really can't. Silly! I don't know why! He's a handsome lovable person yethe doesn't made me happy. It's becausemy heart was gone together with you.

Because were away fulfilling your dreams, I tried to have strength hoping for that day that you're going to come back. Hay, thinking of you coming back, I wish you're going to say those words I'm longing to hear and make me your wife to share your life together until the end of time. We're going to have our children of our own, specifically five would be the maximum, whom we can cherish until we're already old. What a foolish dream, neh? But at the present time, what was all left for someone like me is to dream for that day, nothing more.

I know it's not right for a woman to say her feelings first to a man. But I'd like you to know this inspite of what you're going to think of me. What matters to me now is for me to tell you about my feelings. I don't care what people are going to say to me now. It's just that feeling within me telling me that what I feel is just right. Just right.

Because now or never, I'm determined to say all to you. I can never have a chance like this, the chance of telling you what I truly feel. Mitsui, time is running out for me, I'm getting weaker and weaker as days gone by. And I'm tired, not of fighting with Death, but I am tired of fighting for what I feel and of waiting for you to come back.

I will never have that chance of saying my feelings the next time we see each other again. In the near future, the next time you see me again, it would just be a picture with a resemblance of my face, nothing more.

I'm not afraid of dying, Micchy. I'm afraid for I wouldn't have that chance of holding you, telling you how I feel. Oh how I wish for God to give more time for me to wait for your return—even for just months. Wouldn't it be enough? So that I can feel your sweet love for the last breathe of my life. But it seems a farewell to life is what's left for me to do.

I love you, Mitsui-sempai. I love you so much.

Goodbye

Lovingly,

Lara Anzai-Reanne