I don't get it...

By Liz

The idea came to me after me and Wesley were making fun of stupid actors and stuff and yeah...and it's not really supposed to make sense hehe. Don't get it? You're not supposed to, really.

Yugi was walking home from school one day. He was perfectly happy. There was nothing going wrong...no one wanted to kill him...no one wanted him to he upset or anything. He had good grades in school and he was the happiest person alive!

So he walked along on the sidewalk, more like skipping along on the sidewalk, humming to himself and thinking about his love interest, Yami: the most sexy man in the entire town of Domino.

"Just to be with him for a day," Yugi thought. "that would be absolute bliss."

So Yugi went to his house and went into his room and sat on his bed. "I'll talk to myself some more. Yami is so handsome..." he sighed. "...oh Yami..."

Meanwhile...

Said Yami was hanging around in an alley. Well, this said Yami decided that he needed to take part in some drug deals because he was short on cash...and drugs.

"Got the stuff man?" Yami said to a mysterious cloaked figure. The figure nodded and handed him a big bag of money. Yami then handed over a big bag of drugs and the two went on their merry ways.

"Glad that's over I say to myself." Yami said, talking out loud to no one. "Now I must give an extremely sexy-but-evil look to a wall." And said action was then performed.

Of course no one, not even the great C.E.O of the world Seto Kaiba (who just happened to be walking by), noticed a strange person talking to themselves. Behind Seto was a small boy who went by the name of Mokuba.

"Big brother? Where are we going?" Mokuba asked.

"We're going to your cousin's wife's daughter's half-brother's grandmother's seventh cousin twice removed's mother-in-law's great granddaughter Mai's wedding!" Seto said. "It is very important that we be there! I need to do something!"

"Raise eyebrow?" Mokuba said. "Tilt head sideways. I don't get it!"

"There's no need to voice your actions, Mokuba. Narrow eyebrows." Seto said. "Grab Mokuba's hand. Let's go."

At the wedding...

Mai sighed. "Wedding day." She looked in the mirror and sighed again. "Though the dress is pretty..."

Her best friend Tea looked over at her. "Are you SURE you want to go through with this wedding?" Tea asked. Mai just nodded. "Yes. I love Joey."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Because as your friend I should tell you that I don't think you love him. And as a friend, I should butt into your life and tell you how to live it and I won't leave you alone until you agree with me."

Mai tilted her head to the side. "I know what I'm doing thank you very much."

As they were getting ready, there was one sad boy still sitting and being lonely.

Yugi sighed. "I wish I was with Yami..."

And then his grandfather walked in. "YUGI. We're supposed to be at the wedding! Your best friend is getting married!"

Yugi sighed. "I know Grandpa...Joey doesn't need me there though. He doesn't really like me, he's just using me for some strange and unknown reason. However, because I am naïve, I will go to the wedding and pretend that all is fine."

"That's the spirit!"

So everyone who was going to the wedding went to the wedding.

Joey was standing on the altar watching as Yugi walked into the room. "Aha. That stupid Yugi. He doesn't know that I'm only using him for his Duel Monster talents and nothing more! Ahahahahaha!"

Yugi walked up to Joey. "I'm here Joey!" He said.

Joey faked a smile. "Glad that my best man could make it."

"Glad I could too." Yugi said. "I wouldn't miss your big day for the world!"

Just then, someone ran into the room. "JOEY!"

"Oh no."

"OH YES." Yelled the person.

"Gasp." Everyone said.

"It's Tristan!" Yugi said.

"I'm your best man, Joey! You know I am! Think of all we've been through!" Tristan said. "I was there when you were possessed by that demon! I was there when you were brainwashed into thinking you were the ruler of the world! I was there when you thought that I was dead but I was really just kidnapped and missing!"

Joey sighed. "He's right Yugi. I'm sorry."

Yugi started crying. "But I'm your best friend!"

Then the wedding started and the music began playing. Mai was walking down the aisle, smiling like she meant it, but really she was hiding feeling for another person...

Joey smiled back at her. "This is going to be the happiest day of my life!"

The wedding continued until the words were said: "Is there anyone who objects?"

And Seto Kaiba stood up. "He's cheating on you Mai!" and the whole room gasped. Mai screamed and fainted. Tea caught her and glared back at Seto. "What's wrong with you?"

"Marry me, Joey! I love you more than she could ever!" Seto said. Joey looked longingly at Seto, but then became angry. "You betrayed me! You never loved me! I could never forgive you for leaving me for someone else when you thought I was dead but I was really alive and being held prisoner in a castle for five years!"

"But I love you Joey!"

Then Mai woke up.

"Joey, I can't believe you would cheat on me!" She said. Then she slapped him. "I thought we were inseparable after the night you and me were trapped in a log cabin during that horrible blizzard and we needed to have sex in order to stay alive!"

Joey left Mai and went to Seto. "I'm sorry Mai...but I love Seto."

Mai just shrugged. "Oh well. I was just using you for your looks. You were a trophy boyfriend." She grabbed Tea. "I'm really in love with Tea."

Just then a motorcycle crashed into the building and ran over Tea killing her instantly. Riding the motorcycle was the one and only Yami.

"YAMI!" Yugi shouted and ran over to him. It was obvious that the teen had been drinking and taking drugs at the same time. Yami stood up and staggered around. "Wha's goin on?"

Then the police came and arrested him. And Yugi cried. "I'll get you back Yami. If it's the last thing I do..."

"Make love to me Seto." Joey said and began kissing Seto. And they started having sex in the church. Everyone started running away, and Mai forgot all about Tea and starting hitting on Joey's sister Serenity.

The next morning Yugi went to go visit Yami in jail...but Yami didn't know who Yugi was. "I'm your lover." Yugi said.

"I don't remember having any permanent lovers. I go with anyone that's willing to let me have sex with them for one day. Then I leave them cause I'm heartless like that." Yami said. His cell mate, Bakura, agreed. "Heeeeelll yeaaaah!"

Yugi got mad. "Who said you could join our conversation?" he screeched at Bakura.

"Well excuuuuuuuuuse me!" Bakura said. "I thought you could be a little nicer to your cousin's mother's step-sister's half brother's mother-in-law's grandson!"

Yugi gasped. "We're family? I never knew!" And he embraced Bakura through the bars of the cell.

"Yeah, and there's this really hott guy named Ryou who's related to this mofo" Bakura pointed to Yami.

"Got drugs?" Yami asked, and was promptly kicked by Bakura. "Ow!"

Uhh yeah...my first random burst of psycho-ness in a LONG time...hehe