Author's Note: Ok, I know that this story is totally not like the Princess Diaries, as Mia and Lilly and thier friends are goths. But I was thinking about what it would be like if they were goths, so I decided to write the beginning of a story. Please R R. I dont care if I get any flames; but I'm not trying to make fun of PD, this is just an...experiment. And Mia and Michael? The whole paying thing? It was the only way I could get them together.

If Mia Was a Goth…

CHAPTER ONE

Mia's Book. KEEP OUT UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH!

I don't believe it! Lilly got me and Mike tickets to see Torturing Alice! TORTURING ALICE! I am so excited…only Mike – oops, I mean MICHAEL, doesn't want to go. God, this is TORTURING ALICE we're talking about. It's not like they're the most famous Heavy Metal Goth band or anything! Besides Evanescence, of course.

I am seriously gonna kill Michael. I'm being paid, by Lilly, to date the dork. And he won't even come to a CONCERT with me!

Oops, mom's coming.

Mia

I pushed the book under my bed just as Mom walked in, carrying Rocky.

"Mia, honey, could you please turn your music down a little. I'm trying to get Rocky to sleep." I groaned, and turned Torturing Alice's second album, Raping David's Girlfriend, down. My mum stood in my doorway for a few seconds.

"What?" I asked, wanting to get back to moaning about Michael in my diary.

"Mia, do you realise that this song is all about the lead singer raping his bestfriend's girlfriend?" My mom asked.

"Um, yeah," I said. "But actually April and Jamie had an affair. He didn't actually rape her."

"Oh, of course," my mum walked out, shutting the door. I opened up my songbook and began writing yet another song about Michael.

It's all About the Money

Lilly, I'm gonna kill you

Your brother's driving me round the bend

He won't go to a concert

And you paid a lot of money

Mm, money…

Chorus

It's all about the money

Not the kissing, not the sex

It's all about the money-

"Mia!" Frank pushed open my door. "Are you studying for your Algebra exam?"

"No," I replied, shutting my book.

"Mia, you really need to study." Frank said.

"Yeah, yeah…" I made a face; Frank sighed, and walked out of the room.

I had a feeling I was pissing him off a little.

"Mia!" Lilly leapt into the limo. "Yo!" She said to Lars. He nodded at her. She turned to me. "Mike's at the dentists. So we can discuss how we get him to come to see TA with us. Mom won't let me go unless he comes."

"Oh, God!" I leant back against the seat. "That is so pish, man!"

"I know. But I guess she doesn't trust me after last time. I seriously did not know it was that easy to get drunk!"

"Imagine what Grandmere would say if she heard about you and me getting pissed at that H.I.M. gig!" I giggled.

"Oh, God, you have that Princess crap tonight, don't you?" Lilly sank back against the limo seat and rested her New Rocks on the back of Lars's seat. He grumbled to the driver.

"Yeah, sorry," I groaned, wondering what "Grandmere," as she insisted in calling herself, was going to teach me tonight. "Mia!" I put on a French accent. "We hold the fork like this!" I rolled my eyes.

"Tell her to shove the fork up her arse and come to see Jack with me and T.!" Lilly said.

"Even if I could get out of Princess Lessons, Mike would want to see me!" I rolled my eyes. "I can't believe you're paying me to date your brother just so he doesn't find out that you're going out with a twenty-four-year-old."

"I thought it was all about the money?" Lilly grinned at me, remembering the song that I'd emailed her the previous night. "Mia," she whispered, so Lars didn't hear. "You mentioned sex in the song. You and Michael aren't having sex are you?"

"EWWWWWWW!" I shouted. "No, Lilly, it just made the song sound good. There is NO way I'd shag your brother." Lars just about choked on his coffee. "Sorry Lars," I said to him, as the limo stopped outside school. "Well, come on, lets go find Tina."