Walk Away
Landlocked Blues
You returned a two years and twenty five days after you left. You hadn't remembered, but she had with stripes counting on her calendar of dreams. You'd like to say you returned for pride. For intelligence, friendship, or strength. In reality, you know, deep in your mind, that the reason was her drying tears.
Two years and twenty five days – you couldn't forget her face from that day. The tears that she spilled from the whites of her eyes. It's hard to admit that you severely regret leaving without saying good-bye.
It took you twenty five minutes to leave from her form, unconscious on the concrete floor. It took you twenty five days to realize what a mistake you made by walking away when you walked away. Two years were spent alone, traveling the world and living in dreams. Finally you knew, you could stand this no more and you walked away from that life.
But even as you watch her sleep, you can't help but wonder what life would be if you stayed away and walked away from her.
You moved in with her a month after June, the heat of the night drumming your back as you moved the boxes away. Away from the past, you walked away from it all. You walked away and walked to her with pride. She was smiling and fussing and beaming with life – a dangerous difference from the broken life before. You can't help but want to still walk away from this.
You're fighting a war you know you won't win. His forces are too strong and your mind isn't set. She believes in you not to walk away now. You won't walk away from her.
You're making love to her in the tent that you share. There's sweat on your brow and an attempt for control. She's smiling and wanting you to let go. In the midst of your passion, you can't help but hear him tell of the news.
"If you're still free, start running away()." To the younger ones who can still turn away and walk away from war.
Every night you pull on your shoes. You can feel her eyes as they bear into you, but you can't stay and feel the suffocating decay of being trapped in one place. Every night you try not to leave, so you take solace in a bottle or three with a man you though was once a mentor, but now he's a man too broken to care. You drink to him and drown with him as he says,
"A good woman will pick you apart. A possible suggestion for your possible heart. You may be offended, you may be afraid, but don't walk away, don't ever walk away. ()"
And every night when you return, you're feeling more and more unsure of this life that you lead. You want to walk away, but her eyes keep you here. She pulls you along into bed and you finally remember the promise you said.
"I won't walk away, not today." A whispered breath in the middle of love. She smiles and you can't bring yourself to walk away.
They say that the sennin are here. The new generation of a powerful three, but one hasn't walked away, not yet. You can't help but wonder if he had loved her as a child still learning the steps of the world. The days that he lived before he walked away and betrayed his village. In the middle of war, such thoughts are unsaid.
They're useless right now – contrite and broken.
You are walking through the streets of a city that once was thought to be the dream of three. You see a few children running in the street with a mind that doesn't think of the consequences of walking away from their parents.
They stop you dead in their tracks. You watch as one pulls his twig and points it at you. You hold up your hands in surrender but they stab anyway like a true enemy.
They expect you to laugh, but your eyes are sad. You turn away and walk away from it.
You meet him in the forest of dreams. Dreams that take you to places that you left unexplored when you returned those years ago. He smiles and tells you, "What a pleasure it is to see you so strong." You can't walk away no matter what she says.
You fight with a vigor you can't understand. He's barely lifting a finger to try, but you can't give up, not when you're so close. She's screaming at you to turn away from the fight, but you can't walk away, not until he's gone.
You don't expect his eyes to drift to the form of her spent from healing your wounds. You watch as he moves quicker than you expect.
"Little brother, you're hate is too weak, she has to go for you to win."
You watch with your shoes tied tight. Her hair is fanned out and her breathing is deep. You want to walk away, but her beauty keeps you. She opens her eyes with a sad yawn of sleep.
"I dreamed you were carried away on the crest of a wave. Baby, don't go away, come back to bed ()." Her eyes are too sad and her beauty too great. You can't walk away, no, not today. Or ever.
She clutches her sheets to her porcelain chest. You crawl into bed from regret left unsaid. You aren't going away, not with your shoes on.
Your scream is filling the gape of her mouth. He's smiling and watching her fall. Your rage is too great and the curse is unleashed. You're running at him, wanting to end his life. Twenty five minutes and he's on his knees. With one last slice, you run away andhold her head to yours. She clutches her hands to the hole in her chest.
She opens her eyes for one last time and smiles,
"Baby, you're free from me, now you're free to go. I'm not holding you back, I hope you hold me close. You can walk away, but take me to where you go."
At the funeral made for the heroes of war, her photo stands proud and adored. One got away, just not the same way.
"I can't walk away, just not today," you say over a drink. He nods as if her can relate. In truth, he knows because he's done the same.
"We'll go away, together maybe."
And it all boils down to one quotable phrase – if you love something, give it away. ()
Author's Note: This story is entirely based on the song Landlocked Blues by Bright Eyes on his new album, I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning. It came to me while I was listening to the song on the bus and most of the story line is me taking parts of the song and putting them in prose. All the lines with () means that it's taken directly from the song.
I also wrote this with an entirely different mind set than usual. The song tune was stuck in my head, so I based all the lines on the tune. Sorry if it's confusing, but I had to get it out. It's also not beta'd, since I'm afraid to reread it. Apologies for any mistakes.