Game of Give and Take
[A/N: One thing to say – I should never be allowed to write romance 'fics. Seriously. Especially not songfic romance 'fics. And especially not Supreme songfic romance 'fics. There should be a law against it or something . . . . ^_^;; I mean, seriously, IMHO, this thing . . . is terrible. But I'm hoping some of you wonderful people will help me rewrite . . . ?]
I need love, love to ease my mind;
I need to find, find someone to call mine,
But Mama said: -
You can't hurry love,
No, you just have to wait,
She said love don't come easy,
It's a game of give and take.
Hey, Rachel.
I gave a brief smile, and shoved my blankets off me as I sat up. "Hey, Tobias. What's up?" Stupid! I snapped at myself mentally. It's not like there's anything up for him, being a hawk and all.
If he'd been human, he would have shrugged. Not much. Eating mice, spying out the Yeerks, the usual.
I smiled, but I knew it came across as completely fake. "Cool."
There was a long pause, as I toyed with my blankets.
You okay, Rach? He sounded genuinely concerned, and I looked at him. Just looked at him. Looked into eyes of pure gold and amber, and a mouth that was a hard beak, and feet designed to rip and kill prey. Looked at the boy I loved.
But how many heartaches,
Must I stand before I find a love to let me live again,
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on,
When I find my strength, yeah, it's almost gone . . . .
"Can you demorph?" I asked. Yeah, stupid and inane to say, I know. But a memory kept playing in my head, over and over.
Eric. He'd asked me out that day. And for just a split second . . . .for just that one split second, I'd considered saying yes.
I watched him change to human . . . . just an assumed form, really. He was really a hawk . . . and let my eyes close for a second and my mind blur.
Something wrong, Rachel? he repeated again, just before his beak blurred into a mouth. You don't look so good.
"I can't take this anymore."
Had I spoken out loud? Had I? Wasn't I being so very . . . truly selfish? Was I? Was it too much to ask to just . . . let him be human?
No, love, love, don't come easy,
But I keep on waiting, anticipating for that soft voice to talk to me at night,
For some tender arms to hold me tight,
I keep on waiting,
I keep on waiting,
But it ain't easy, it ain't easy . . . .
I felt tears come to my eyes, but I forced them ruthlessly back and continued speaking. "I can't take any of this stuff anymore. Please. Can't . . . . you just . . . . " I found his eyes with mine and held them, looking into those blue depths. "Can't you just be human?"
I knew it was selfish, yes. But I wanted him to be human . . . . so very badly . . . . needed it with every fiber of my soul. I needed something to be normal in a life where nothing at all was normal.
"We've talked this over, Rachel. We . . . . it's the war. If I become a human nothlit, we'd lose a fighter. And we can't afford that loss to our forces."
"I know all that. But . . . but maybe you could just . . . try to be human? For me?"
But how many heartaches must I stand,
Before I find a love to let me live again,
Right now the only thing that keeps me hangin' on,
When I feel my strength, yeah, it's almost gone.
His lips tightened. "That's not an option, Rachel." He stood, and sighed. "I guess this conversation is over." And then he began to morph . . . . demorph to what was now his true form. Hawk.
"Yeah. I guess so."
How much longer must I wait,
How much more can I take,
Before loneliness will cause my heart,
Heart to break . . . ?
"I . . . . I . . . . " I froze suddenly. "Tobi, wait!"
He turned eyes that were a hurt and dreamy blue, but quickly turning golden to me. Yeah, Rach? I heard the tone of hurt in his voice, and I turned away for a second, closing my eyes and letting my fingernails bite into my palm.
"I'm sorry."
"Want to go to the movies sometimes?" Eric's eyes on mine, hopeful. . . . he was cute, after all . . . .
There's nothing to be sorry about, he said, coolly, but I still heard the tension in his 'voice'.
I'm sorry, Tobi. Believe that at least. I'm so very sorry for this . . . but I can't help it.
I looked away, out the window, and I heard my breath catch in my throat. "Good night, Tobias."You can't hurry love, no, you just have to wait. . . .
Good night, Rachel. He spread his wings, and took flight. Night, Rach.
I followed him with my eyes until there was nothing to see but oblivion in the night sky. And then . . . . only then . . . did I allow myself to cry.
. . . . she said love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take . . . .
[A/N: Well? Liked it, loved it, hated it? Send any and all replies to me at anifuture@hotmail.com. And take a look at my webpage, at http://anifuture.hypermart.net.]