Set the same night of the season 2 finale. After Katherine leaves Elena tries to follow but Damon doesn't let her. Basically, she falls asleep in Damon's bed after a looong night of crying (obv.!) and that's where this takes up.. don't think dirty, because i don't write dirty you perves! ;)

i ship D/E, but i do it realistically. it will not happen straight away and it will not be simple. S/E is still a reality here so just stick with me..

Damon

It should make a difference when someone loves you, right? I mean, it should, but normally and especially in my eternity, I've learnt that it just doesn't.

It's three in the morning and I'm lying awake, listening as Elena's short breaths come and go and I know she's having a nightmare. It's not the fact that her body is wrapped unnaturally around my sheets or the sound of her whimpering that tips me off. It is, offcourse, her heartbeat and racing pulse that allows me this knowledge. I am after all not human, I am ever the predator. I wonder whether this is how Stefan felt… feels when he lays with her… I doubt it.

She rolls towards me, her hands reaching out for who she probably thinks in her dream state is Stefan but I allow her to press her body close to mine anyway. I can't see her face because it's so dark and I wish I could but I know its better this way. It'll hurt less later, when she realises that this is my fault, that she truly does hate me.

I wonder what it would be like if this wasn't our life, if I could lie next to her without knowing it was wrong. If I could look at her without the knowledge that merely being has ruined two lives. If I could reach closer and whisper comforting things to her as she slept and not fear that my voice would only disgust her… I could make myself mad with wondering but in the end the result is the same, things will never be like that for us. I am not Stefan. Too much has happened and is going to happen and we can't let ourselves, I can't let myself, let down my guard for a second. It only takes a second for one of us to hope, to die.

"I love Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan"
I wake with a jolt and feel Elena stir beside me. I can't remember falling asleep but those words spoken what feels like lifetimes ago are like a slap in the face. I could break that bond, even if I may want to...

Elena

I awake almost screaming and immediately I feel Damon's hands on my arms, holding me down.

"It's okay Elena, it's okay" he reassures me as his grip loosens.

I realise my breath has turned into panting and I try to suck in as much air as I can. Damon's eyes are wild as he watches my face and I can feel him instinctually pulling away from me. My heart is racing but I can breath properly again. I don't try to speak, afraid that any sound will break the calm I'm trying to hold, the dreams I'm trying to push to the back.

"Are you okay?" Damon asks me and his voice is rougher than normal as he watches me with intense eyes. He's watching my lips. I wriggle out of his grip as I nod. He lets go.

"Okay, good" he doesn't say anymore as he moves back onto his side of the bed and rolls onto his back. I move to the end of the mattress and turn to watch him as he closes his eyes and breaths deeply, trying to calm himself. What was I doing here? I must have fallen asleep. But Stefan needed me now. I needed to go and yet, I couldn't help but notice that even though he was the reason Stefan had left, he was still here... I can see the lingering traces of the werewolf bite, the large patch of disfigured skin on his forearm that would only go away once he had blood in his system. Why hadn't he fed? I want to ask him. I want to scream at him. But mostly, I want to cry. He issafe. But Stefan is not.

"You're staring Elena… and normally I couldn't blame you but I'm not really at the top of my game right now" he pulls me from my dark train of thought. My eyes rise from his bare torso to his face. He is watching with a raised brow. What's the point? What's the point in telling him that I always stare, that he just never catches me? What's the point in telling him that I always want to be able to stare, that I want him and I want Stefan and that I most of the time I don't know what I want. What's the point when none of it matters now because Stefan is gone and I can't look at him without feeling like it was all my fault. It was my fault.

"Put a shirt on" I tell him and I watch as a brief flicker of hurt crosses his face before he shrugs and closes his eyes again. He probably hadn't slept at all last night. He'd probably been looking out for me. No, not probably. He had. Just as he always has.

I get up and go to the desk at the far end of the room where I'd left my phone. I can feel Damon's eyes on me. No messages. No missed calls. No Stefan.

"Elena" I jump and my phone slips from my hands and falls to the ground. He is standing right behind me, his mouth almost touching my ear. I needn't wonder how he'd moved so quickly or so silently. It shouldn't shock me. Stefan had done it all the time. But this was different, this felt less… safe and I just, I hadn't expected it. "Elena" he says again, this time more urgent, his breath tickling against my neck and I feel the heat begin to rise in my cheeks, everywhere. I remember how his lips had felt when I'd kissed him. His hands move to rest on my upper arms.

"Stay here" he whispers and I think I almost feel his tongue touch my earlobe ever so slightly but then his hands are gone and I hear the front door open and close in a second and I know I am alone.

AN: thanks for reading!

Next Chapter: Katherine has a thing or two to discuss with dear Damon, meanwhile Elena has a plan of her own to get her little bunny muncher back.