Hi readers. It´s my first english fanfic. I wrote this story in czech, but I was so afraid to translate it to english I didn´t even try it. When I did it I wasn´t sure with my english so I didn´t post it. That´s why I want to thank Kmylove who was so nice and correct my text. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

As I said, I wrote it in czech. But as I know czech readers and their natural antipathy for writing reviews, comparable only to our vogue to wear socks in sandals, none of them write any word. I hope you will be so nice and write something :-) And please, read note under the fic :-)Thanx for your attention.

Odette

Butterfly Effect
It was about three o´clock at night, when she woke. She sleepily touched the empty place beside her. The bed clothes were cold. He was away for long time. Too long for a visit to the bathroom. He was away. Away from her. Forever. There was a big grey dog beside her bed. He came closer and laid his big head on the pillow. Don´t cry...
She laid her bare feet on the soft carpet, waited for moment and then got up. She opened the wardrobe and looked at herself in the mirror. She stared at herself for a long moment. She raked up her dark hair and wiped away the tears falling from her big blue eyes with one quick motion. She stroke her growing stomach and raised her head ,,And what?!" she thought angrily. She took an old coat from the wardrobe and got dressed quickly. She stroke the dog´s head, took the car keys and left the house.
She rode quickly, but carefuly. That was a journey she knew so well, but didn´t use so long. So long. There wasn´t any sign of life on the streets, just one police watch. She parked in front of a big flat-house on the main street and entered the house. The third floor was suddenly so high for her. She felt it wouldn´t take a long time and she will cry again. These three floors were the hardest three floors in her whole life. She stood before flat number 13 at last and raised her hand to knock. Again, she felt doubts. Again she felt, that running away would be better. Disappear like she did five months ago. Disappear and try to settle this problem by herself. But the last time she wasn´t alone. Now, she was. She knocked. The doors were opened after a few minutes in which she again wanted to disappear. Inside the flat stood an old woman. She had the same blue eyes and her hair was as beautiful as hers once .
,,Barbara." She took a breath. The young woman with one hand like steady on the frame of the door, the other put into the pocket of her long coat raised her eyes.
,,Mom?" she whispered.
How many thoughts and questions were in that moment the mother's head, when she saw her pregnant daughter on the door-step of her flat?
,,He-" she started, but her daughter suddenly stopped her.
,,Don´t say it." she whispered. ,,Please, don´t say anything."
,,Will you come in?" asked the mother but already knew the answer. Barbara didn´t answer. The silence might be the answer. She raised her hand from the door-frame and came in.
,,Did he left any letter?" asked mother, Barbara was silent. She only tapped with her long thin fingers on the table. The other hand was resting protectively on her stomach. She still wore her horrible coat. She only shook her head.
,,So, he just disappeared," her mother with anger in her voice. Again no answer. She just stared at her fingers, wrapped in her own thoughts.
,,But I´ve told-"
,,Don´t say it." Barbara was suddenly alive. She stopped tapping, raised her head and punctured her mother with an icy look. ,,Don´t say it." she repeated. There were tens...thousands questions in the silence between the two women. Suddenly Barbara raised her hand and covered her eyes. ,,I loved him!!!" she almost cried, but her voice was shaken by affection. She started crying. For the first time from that moment, when she realized that her partner, her ONE left her. Her, five-months pregnant! She dropped down on the table, her hair over her face and started to shake with sobs.

Four months later she laid on the litter and though she´ll die soon. There were a lot of doctors and nurses around her and she felt like THEN. ,,We have to wait for epidural" they told her. OK, we´ll wait. She felt so lonely. So distant from all the world. Nobody who can help her. Her mother promised it, but didn´t come. ,,Maybe she didn´t catch the plane..." they were saying. Maybe. She clenched her teeth. Just like THEN. She was hard on herself. She found work and worked at long as it was possible. When it wasn´t, she worked at home. Tears were falling from her eyes and she wasn´t able to stop them. The other patients looked away from her with embarrassed looks. The others... she sell half of her flat for good care for her baby and now, she had to give birth to her child on ER... She was cursed. Her lips were chewed to blood. She couldn´t stand it. She cried out...

,,The father?" somebody asked. She shook her head widely.
,,Is somebody from the family here?" answer after answer...
,,NO!" She yelled. Somebody from the personal wiped the cold sweat from her forehead. ,,Try to imagine some nice thought." He whispered into her ear and held her hand. She imagined it was HIM. That man she loved so much. It didn´t work... If only he could be here! That bastard, who hurt her so much. ,,Me and my little girl!" She thought angrily. It is a girl. She knew it. From the beginning she knew. If only he could be here,,I could tear off his knackers and force him to eat them!" And suddenly it all ended. The anger is sometimes more powerful than beautiful thoughts.
,,Congratulations. You have a daughter." Somebody said. The pain was away. AWAY. There was a wave of relief and unbelievable happiness instead of that. After fourteen hours of sufferance she had her daughter. Her little girl. She doesn´t care of strands of hair in her eyes, cold sweat on her temples and tears of pain and joy that blurred her visions. All she saw was her daughter in her arms.
,,She will be beautiful like her mother." somebody said to her ear and stroke her hair. Everybody it the operating room was smiling and looked at that absolutely exhausted woman and her newborn child. ,,She will be just like her mom."
,,No, she wouldn´t," Barbara thought. She´ll never fall for some guy madly like her mother. She will be so much stronger. So much smarter than her. Addiction is weakness, Barbara. And she will never be weak. Barbara tried to smile but it was hard to break tears. She gave it up, kissed her girl on the forehead and started to cry again. She will never be weak. She had no doubts about that. She KNEW it.

Note: As you noticed, main character is Trinity´s mother. I thought about reasons of Trin´s distrust for men, of her untouchable exterior. I think she was raised only by her mother. And her mother wanted to protect her of these problems. She didn´t want her daughter to be hurt as she was. I think Barbara raised her daughter as some kind of feminist. As a woman who isn´t depending on men, who is able to take care of herself.

P.S. I´m Czech, I love my country and I wear the socks in sandals:-)

Thanx.