The Lie
Disclaimer: Angel isn't mine and neither are its characters.
Summary: These people – they don't love her. They don't worship her… Well, he does but… (Illyria/Wes of sorts)
A/N: If you go to my tth account (wickedness) there's a pic to go with this. Written in June 06.
"Would you like me to lie to you now?"
She finds herself having to hammer in that it was a lie. All of it. These memories. This face. These feelings.
It's a lie but she can't seem to shake it off. She doesn't know what makes it worse – that it's a lie or that she knows it and isn't trying to disillusion herself.
She is a god amongst mortals, but feels something flutter deep within the cage of her chest and wonders if she's turning human.And she should be disgusted, but she isn't. She is the princess pretending to be a pauper and loving the feel of mud on her feet.
But it was all a lie.
These people – they don't love her. They don't worship her… Well,he does but…
No, it's a farce. A mask created from the past that is indestructible. It's a lie – she doesn't care for these people…When did they turn from 'cattle' to 'people'? She is being colonized and loving it. She wonders when they will realize that she is still the savage, just dressed up to fit in. She wants to paint the sky red and dance around the fire naked. She wants to sit and talk and laugh, of all things. She wants…
She wants everything.
She looks at him and he's gasping and broken and bloody and she doesn't think she's ever seen anything more beautiful. And it's wrong that he's beautiful because he's mortal – he is as beautiful as a rose in twilight. Come tomorrow, the rose will be dead. And what's the use of admiring something that will be lost so quickly?
But he's beautiful as usual and it hurts to look at him. It hurts to look at him and know that he is fading – and fast. She will never see him again; after this, he will burn on a pyre or whatever the people (Cattle, her mind screeches) do now.
Her chest hurts and it feels as if it will explode – but she knows she can't allow that, she can't set her heart free. She can't be weak enough to burn with him.
"Yes. Thank you. Yes."
She closes her eyes. So that's how it goes.
She opens her mouth and shifts, welcoming him into her world, for the first and last time.
Fin.