He watched him as he slept and wondered what it was about this one that differed from the rest. He was so. . .intense. From what he'd seen so far of the silver haired demon, the man didn't do anything half-assed. From the way he treated him to an occasional night out on the town to the way he loved him down in the bedroom. If anything, he was scared to how he found himself responding to it all.
He stood up from his seat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his pants. He quickly combed through his unruly locks, a complete mess after everything they'd done last night. Just the thought of all the things the other had done to him had him looking over his shoulder, a bit disappointed he was still sleeping. The man was usually up before him, being his seductive and sexy self, convincing him in the best of ways to start up another round.
He sighed, and looked around trying to locate his shirt. Maybe it was for the best Sesshomaru was still sleeping. This, whatever this was. . . was getting to him. Never had he actually wanted to stay after a night with someone and here he was, for once not actually wanting to go back to his empty apartment. He usually couldn't wait to get away from his partners but not this time. For whatever reason, they kept hooking up and little by little he was starting to dread the mere prospect of leaving in the morning.
He walked around to the demon's side of the bed and saw his black T-shirt lying on the carpet. He grabbed it and quickly slipped it on, quietly grabbing his car keys from the nearby nightstand. He found and slipped on his shoes before sending a final look to the slumbering demon. The urge to slip back under the sheets and press against him was so strong he had to force himself to turn and leave the room. He quickly left the apartment and made sure to lock the front door behind him.
He needed to stay away from him for a while. Or at the very least school his emotions into nothing more than the lust that plagued him when he laid eyes on the other. He needed the time and space away to think.
His eyes fluttered open and immediately knew he was alone. Knowing however didn't stop the full blooded dog demon from quickly turning around and staring blankly at the cool spot beside him. Nor did the annoyingly familiar feel of disappointment come as any surprise.
He knew he should've gotten up early. It was the only way to make the other stay. He enjoyed the sight of the hanyou in his bed far too much. More so than he thought he ever would since meeting him that night at the club.
Damn if the hanyou didn't make his toes curl. He'd never had anything that good in his life. Everything about the other was perfect. From the naughty, teasing look in his eye to the erotic sounds that left his mouth. Even the way the other responded to his touch was like a pull. One he'd already decided he wasn't planning to ignore. His Pop had told him he'd know when he'd found the one and he was sure Inuyasha was that one.
The hanyou never mentioned about it going past a sexual relationship between them and that's what kept the demon's silence. He didn't want to muck up what they had going right now. Didn't want the other cutting him off for bringing emotions into the dealings between them. He'd rather have him around even if it was just for the sex.
Though it was that very same desire he tried to use to his advantage. Even if Inuyasha felt naught for him romantically, he couldn't deny what he felt at his touch. That face held nothing back while in the throes of pleasure. He made sure to give his best every time, each thrust silently meant to convey just how good it could be between them. He would pleasure him like that all the time if it was his wish. He just wanted the hanyou around.
But he never stayed. Some mornings he was left alone and even after he seduced the other, he tended to leave shortly after that.
A part of him was pissed at himself for even pining away for someone who didn't give a damn. It was a blow to his pride. He could scroll through his contacts and very well have a top of the line female on the way with no questions asked. He had plenty of seductive boy toys in his phone, quick to please him.
Then his frustration would fade and his rational mind would remerge once more. He could have his pick from a handful but none of them would be the one he wanted. And damn if it wasn't frustrating.
Deciding he was done laying here thinking of this, he got out of bed and headed to the shower. He would hit up the gym and blow off some steam. Maybe his old man would spout some words of wisdom. He could use some of that right about now.
...
"Damn it, Sesshomaru. Relax. Breathe son. You know better than to lose yourself like that."
The silver haired demon nodded before bringing the sleeve of his shirt to his mouth, wiping away the sweat from his face. Damn if beating away at the punching bag wasn't making him more frustrated. He just kept seeing himself falling for someone only to end up playing the fool. He'd never been in this position before and was lost.
"Relax, son. Concentrate. Get back over here and finish this set. You know what I taught you. You never walk away from something in frustration. Here," The older silver haired demon straightened out the black punching bag, his large frame supporting the weight from behind. His fingerless gloves gripping either side. His amber eyes peered towards his son, expression stern. "Come on. Finish this off and I'll let you off for the day."
Sesshomaru took a deep inhale through his nose before letting out a deep exhale through his mouth. He raised his arms back up before his torso in a defensive position, hands encased in red boxing gloves. He immediately sent his right arm sailing forward in a quick jab, the power behind his blow enough for the older demon holding onto the bag to tighten his hold. He sent an uppercut with his left hand, the chain holding the bag up jangling. He sent a hook forward with his left and lost himself. He threw everything he knew at that bag, not bothering to hold back. He went until exhaustion took hold of him. His father throwing out the occasional encouraging word. He went until he felt he could go no more. His arms were sore but he definitely felt marginally better.
"That's it for today," rumbled his father, removing the black gloves from his calloused hands. "Hit the showers and swing by my office before you leave." Was all he ordered before he himself started walking to his office.
He sighed and went past the other members of the gym and headed to the showers.
He made it quick and was soon knocking at his father's door. He heard the deep voice come from the other side and pushed the door open at gaining permission. He looked to his father, the demon holding a few papers in his hand
The older of the two spared him the barest of glances before glancing down at the words on the paper once more. "Sit."
He took a seat at the chair before the desk and looked towards his father. He looked up to his father as he'd been a great influence for him. His father was all he had. It'd been just them since his mom dipped as soon as he was born. Never wanting a kid and gladly passed him off to the father. Leaving his father to run off and marry some demon who had a lot more money. His father's words held a lot of weight. His father was the type of man to make a room fall silent just by stepping inside. The aura around him one that demanded respect or you'd soon be looking towards sky flat on your back from the demon's notorious right hook. He waited patiently until the man decided to give him his undivided attention. He straightened up in his chair.
"I don't know what it is that caused you such turmoil you felt the need to cause such damage to my equipment but you make sure it will be the last time. Whoever that was out there today, was not the son I raised. That was a man lost in the middle of a raging storm. You keep yourself grounded and you face your problems like a man. Don't let your emotions cloud over you until you've lost yourself in your own sea of darkness. Sit. Think with a clear head. I know you're capable of this."
"Yes sir," he said lowly and no longer able to meet his father's eyes, feeling every bit like a scolded pup. "I apologize for wasting your time today."
"You, son, are never a waste of my time. Men who do not face their issues are the destroyers of themselves. I won't let that become you. What's got you so stressed?" His father's voice rumbled, holding with it a hint of concern.
Sesshomaru relaxed. "My head.. is in a whirlwind. I find myself wanting something I can't have and now I'm starting to question if it's even good for me." He shook his head, meeting his father's gaze. "Do you remember the hanyou I mentioned to you a few months back? The one I met at a club?"
The other made a humming sound, leaning forward in his seat. "Yes. I remember. You're still seeing him I assume?"
"I've been hooking up with him ever since that night. I never stopped seeing him. He even spends the night when he comes over."
His father raised a brow. "You usually do not allow your company to stay overnight. I take it that means he's special to you?"
He nodded slowly. "He is," his words confident and without a shadow of a doubt. "I.. crave his touch whenever he's away. When he's not beside me, he takes up majority of the thoughts in my head. Even when he's right beside me, I find he's not close enough." He ducked his head into his hands, eyes trained onto the floor beneath his feet. "I feel like I'm going crazy most times."
"You're not going crazy, Sesshomaru." The older male informed him, his tone holding a hint of satisfaction. "You're merely recognizing the growing feelings you hold for another. There is nothing wrong with that."
He lifted his head at the soft spoken words and nodded.
"Your aren't one to hold back from what you want once you desire it. What you feel is clear to see. What's holding you back?"
"Him." He answered instantly. "His feelings. We started our relationship with an unspoken understanding it was just sex. A mutual satisfaction for the both of us. Developing things further was the last thing on our minds. Now, I find it's all I want. I want it with him. He's never even mentioned seeing where things could go between us. He.. could very well see my feelings as an unnecessary complication. If he decides that and I lose him..."
His father nodded, leaning back in his seat. "You hold back for fear of losing him completely. If he rejects you, then you will have nothing left of him. You deem it worth keeping him around even if you do not have all of him. You would accept your place now as long as you remain unsure of where you stand. You cling to hope for something more."
He looked away, shame filling him at having it all laid out on the table. His father made it sound so simple, as if slowly picking apart an equation. It definitely felt more complicated than that. But he could not deny that his father's words were his feelings in its most basic form. It was embarrassing, but it was true.
His blank expression and silence said it all.
"Nothing ventured is nothing gained. And nothing gained was never meant for you." Ah, there were the words of wisdom the young dog was looking for.
"You make it sound so simple." He groaned, slumping back into his chair.
The old dog chuckled. "Matters of the heart are never simple. Knowing what needs to be done is not the same as doing what needs to be done. It is a scary thought and we may dread it, but it still needs to get done."
He closed his eyes in a sigh. Of course he knew his father was right. He was always right.
"Do not spend your days trying to convert someone to your feelings. If he does not feel for you what you feel for him, then most likely it is not meant to be. Talk to him. Tell him and give him a chance to be open with you. You may not like his words but you will have to respect his decision. Knowing now will save you a lot of unnecessary complications down the line. Not telling him will bring you nothing but that."
He licked his lips, nodding his understanding. He would talk to Inuyasha. As much as it would hurt to be rejected, it would be what he needed to hear in order to get his emotions in order. It would hurt for a while, but he would move on. He wasn't in love, he just knew he could be. He found himself wanting that for the first time. And if for some reason the hanyou was willing to see where things could go between them. . . Well, he'd be the happiest man alive.
He grinned. "Thanks Pop."
His father grunted. "Yes. Well, I trust you will sort where your feelings stand. For your own sake. Hear the young man out. Whatever the outcome is, it is one you will be able to live with."
He could live without Inuyasha, he just didn't want to.