title: going nowhere (prologue/?)
pairing(s): eventual omc/spencer reid
rating: t+
warnings: some bad language
summary: meet BAU's D Team - aka 'meeting but not exceeding the Bureau's standards for a team of profilers' aka 'we're not sure if you'll embarrass yourselves or the Bureau more so we won't take any chances' aka 'you're the last fucking resort, so if we do send you out please don't fuck up too badly'.

While Leon Hayashi wasn't exactly known for his effusiveness, it wasn't like he was an urban hermit - attached by the thumbs to his smartphone - either. He prefered to think of himself in a healthy middle between the two extremes. He liked his solitude. He liked being alone with his thoughts and Twitter, but he also did leave his apartment frequently and for more than just grocery shopping. As someone who met most expectations of normalcy, it was only natural that he'd interact with his neighbors. He particularly liked the fiery, elderly, little Hispanic couple two doors down who'd smack him whenever he tried to offer to help them carry their groceries. He was sure that they were exceptionally fond of him too - by way of their endless teasing and nagging insistence that he eat more despite the fact that he was already a healthy 190 pounds. And as arrogant as it sounded, he thought that he was a unique little fixture to their living room couch, mooching off of their amazing home cooked meals. So it was kind of a kick in the balls when they started talking about another resident on their floor like rainbows came out his ass.

He wasn't jealous or anything - no, fuck no! It just stung a lot. And it was a little sob worthy how much more, how palpably more, Mama Vega and Old Man V loved this other guy over him. Old Man V would talk about how smart the man was, and how polite and sweet he was. How he definitely needed fattening up more than Leon did. He also knew for a fact that if the other guy asked for Mama Vega's bomb ass cookies, that she only made for super special occasions, she would bake it even if nothing major was happening. Which was all of kinds of wrong, because he hadn't even gotten that privilege after knowing the couple for three years. And don't even get him started about the effect this guy had on his other apartment friends and acquaintances. Praises fell from their mouths like water and Leon was only getting more and more intimidated as the days went on.

"He's such a great kid. Always stopping by to check on me when he comes back from work. I'll act all ticked off, but it warms this old biddy's heart, if I were more honest." cackled Mrs. Coombs, the middle aged British woman who literally hated everyone, had told him once in a moment of benevolence in the elevator.

"I think he's fucking adorable," Shelley, the better half of the only lesbian couple on the floor, recounted when he asked. "And he actually went to our dinner party last week unlike a certain someone who slept through it all. Why? You want me to set you up?"

Leon fled from his balcony to the safety of his living room after that line of questioning, ignoring the loud giggles that trailed behind him. It took another two days before he got up and went around questioning the others on his floor.

"He's an old soul, smart as hell and so helpful too! And unlike you, he always listens to my stories and picks up milk for me when I ask." harrumphed Mr. Palmer, an old war veteran who lived at the end of the hall. "Now, get away from my door before I get Blondie to try and eat your foot again."

Blondie was an adorable teacup Yorkie and also Satan. She hated his guts with a burning and needless to say, he ran like hell after that quick interrogation. Everyone he asked, from the constantly frazzled Mrs. Lin, a single mom of two pairs of twins, to the perpetually partying Reese Wilcox, a trust fund baby with more money than he knew what to do with, had nothing but the highest adulations for this guy. Who the fuck was he? And how dare he steal the title of 'best resident on the floor' from him like this? He wondered if the cutie from Room 231, who moved in about 8 months ago, knew the person in question. Leon desperately hoped not, because he still needed to work up the courage to actually talk to Room 231. He had a three month plan in place that led the wonderful moment where he was actually going to ask Room 231 out, and that wasn't going to work if someone was going around possibly stealing their attention with his supposed sweetness.

Okay, so it was wholly accurate to say that he was jealous. And threatened.

Severely so.

But as someone who hated his out of work friends just as much as he loved them, the Vega couple and the other various characters that resided on his floor had become a sort of safe haven that he desperately needed after long days at work at the Bureau. He didn't want to lose them to some crummy little, friend-stealing kid - yes, he was aware that he was a thirty year old man being needlessly petty, but he didn't really care. Of course, these were all sentiments previous to actually meeting the enigmatic "lovely, little Spencer Reid".

(not so) quickie notes: okay so after reading an excess of omc/reid fics that all ended with sadness and domestic abuse, i came to conclusion that the criminal minds fandom needed a slash fic between an omc and reid that's actually healthy. this, my ugly baby, is the result.

here's a quick rundown of the universe:

- starts before season 1 and diverges around season 2
- the only relationship that features oc with a major canon character is omc/reid
- there is, however, a relationship between an ofc/canon minor female character
- i'm playing around with the personalities of three minor characters - kevin lynch, grant anderson, and gina sharp
- this is, first and foremost, a humor/romance fic and does not hold a major focus on the main team's cases
- will feature some d team cases, but they are inconsequential and low stakes
- that is not say that there won't be sadness, because there definitely will be
- since i am needlessly research orientated, their place of work is where the actual BAU works (j. edgar hoover building) and the apartments above actually exist (it's a thirty minute commute from the apartments to the bureau using transit)

i guess i'll add links to the apartment building? and the actual apartments that i have in mind? just so y'all can visualize it with me. thanks for reading this mess omg.