Tom's POV:
Us McFly boys had just reached one of the busiest days we had had in months. Non-stop production and planning meetings, with just enough time for a quick Starbucks in between. To put it short we were knackered. So after a long, tiring day of band stuff, I was looking forward to just having some alone time. Not that I don't love my band mates, they are my world. It's just that everyone needs some quiet after all they have heard all day is noise. After we had piled out of the mini bus that Tommy had driven us home in, I turned around to say goodnight to the lads. 'Great day today guys, got a load of stuff done, see you tomorrow.' I turned to go inside my house, which was next door to Danny's, across the road from Dougie's and down the street from Harry's, but I got stopped with a massive hand pulling me back. 'Woah Tom, you can't get away from us that easily' Danny bit back a laugh, 'All come back to mine and we can have a foursome'. He winked, I knew that what he had just said meant 'Let's have a massive sleepover and order loads of food' in Danny language. But I just wasn't up for it, I was tired, plus I had a lot of thinking to do. 'Sorry guys, I love you all, but I'll have to pass tonight.' Dougie could tell straight away from my tone that I was in deep thought about something because he said 'Come on Tom, it'll be fun, we'll sneak away from them two when they aren't looking and have a make out session!' They all laughed at this, because it was such a Dougie thing to say, but it made me freeze on the spot. The secret is that I have been in love with our young bassist for quite a while now, many years in fact. Ever since he hit 18, I stopped seeing him as the little kid we had to look after, and starting seeing him as a really beautiful human being. Seriously, everything about him is just perfect. I've managed to keep this secret to myself though, and I don't plan on telling anyone, especially Dougie, anytime soon. I have always been careful when I have been around him, not letting him get to close to me or jokingly seduce me, because I didn't want to give myself away. Recently though, I've started to find myself let him do these things to me, I don't know why, because I know if he finds out the feelings I have for him he will hate me and probably never speak to me again. That's something I would never be able to cope with. That's why I had to go home and think things through, if I went round to Danny's spending the night with Dougie, something might happen that I really couldn't stop myself from doing. 'Sorry Dougs, It's a no. See ya tomorrow guys' I walked straight into my house without a second glance, leaving them on the pavement. 'What am I going to do?' I groaned to myself as I shrugged off my coat and sat down on the couch. I really couldn't keep my feelings to myself any longer, I knew I had to tell someone, but I didn't know who to tell without them judging me. I mean, the band knew I was gay, I had been long since we even started McFly. Whether Dougie was gay though, well that's something none of us know. We've all suspected in the past, but he has never told us about it. So for the next half an hour or so, I sat on the couch just staring at my blank TV screen, trying to figure out what to do with this hopeless situation. I could feel myself getting more and more depressed every minute I thought about it. Every solution I had to the problem ended in the same conclusion..I had to tell him. But I couldn't tell him! He would be disgusted! I mean, even if he was gay, why would he ever like me?! I've never been as nice looking or as witty as them three. I'm just the songwriter. This was getting too much, I needed to get rid of this ache in my heart and pounding in my head. I wondered into the kitchen, walking like I had been possessed, and pulled out some 6-year-old whiskey from the back of the cupboard. I had stopped drinking alcohol a long time ago, there was a point where I was drowning my sorrows in it too much. I had a fresh start. But now, I yearned for the burning of the liquid in my throat. I unscrewed the cap and was about to take my first gulp when the doorbell went. 'S**t, who is that?' I asked the empty room as I rushed to put the cap back on the whiskey and shove it under the cushion on the couch before going to open the door. 'Look I really don't want to talk to any..oh hey Doug', Dougie was stood outside my front door with his hands in his pockets, I could tell by his face that something was bothering him, although he was trying his best to cover it up. 'Hey Tom..what's up with you? Why don't you want to talk to anyone?' Dougie spoke rather weakly, he seemed stressed, but he still smiled that beautiful smile I have loved for years. 'Oh it's nothing Dougie, don't worry, just tired I guess. What you doing here?' I gestured for him to come in and closed the door behind him. Damn, why was he so freakin' attractive? My mind just seemed to be taken over by his beauty. 'We need to talk Tom.' I froze on the spot, had he found out how I felt? Was I that obvious? So many bad thoughts were running through my head, I hadn't even realised that Dougie has made his way into the living room and was going to sit down on the couch. 'I need to tell you somethi- wait. What's this?' I looked up and saw that Dougie was pulling out the hidden whiskey bottle from underneath him. S**t. 'Tom?!' Dougie started panicking, looking up to me for an explanation, 'Tom, what the f**k is this? I thought you had stopped this.' Anger had arisen in Dougie's voice, and I just couldn't take it anymore. 'I-I just can't keep things t-to myself anymore Dougie.' I could feel tears slipping down my face as I slowly fell to the floor, covering my face so Dougie couldn't see me. 'Keep what to yourself?' The anger in Dougie's had gone now..he sounded scared. 'I-I..I like you okay Doug? Not like as in band mate like.. I mean I-I-I love you Dougie. I have done for such a long t-time and I've k-kept it a secret from you all b-but I just can't b-bottle things up anymore, i-im s-s-sorry'. I was sobbing now, I didn't know what to do next. I had just told the man I love that I have had feelings for him for years, and I don't even know if he is gay! What have I done. I looked up at Dougie to see him leaning against the couch for support, his face looked like he had just been slapped. Crap, what did I just do?!. 'Dougs..' I said through my tears, 'I'm s-sorry I told you..j-just forg-' 'I love you too.' I stopped. What did he just say?! 'Wh-what?' I looked at Dougie again, and now there was tears running down his face too. 'I love you too Tom..that's what I came over here to tell you. After you blew us off about coming to Danny's before..I-I thought it was because you had figured out how I felt about you and you hated me..so when you went home I dragged Danny&Harry to mine and just broke down. I told them everything and then they told me to come over here, that's where I have been for the past half an hour, I thought I had blown it Tom.' Poor Dougie couldn't speak anymore after that, he dropped the whiskey bottle he still had in his hand and collapsed to the floor, absolutely crying his heart out. 'D-Dougie this can't be happening..I just couldn't be near you in case I did something stupid, I've been wanting to tell you for ages.' Dougie managed to get some words out, 'W-Why d-didn't you Tom?.' A shaky laugh escaped me. 'Because I was scared you would hate me.' At that moment Dougie's blue eye's found my own brown ones and locked onto them. It was spine-tingling, just having him look into my eyes like that, searching my soul and reading into me. That moment lasted forever in my mind, although in reality it would have been a few seconds. Then, all of a sudden Dougie got up. My heart leapt into my mouth and I felt sick. Where was he going? Right now I was yearning for him more than ever. Then Dougie just walked over to me and sat down next to me, his eyes still looking at mine. Without knowing what was going to happen next, Dougie brought his lips to mine and sparks exploded in my stomach. I responded with my own lips and we shared the most gentle, passionate kiss that tasted of the tears that were still rolling down both of our face's. I slowly brought my hand up to Dougie's hair and started running my fingers through it as he put his hand on my face. All our emotions, all our feelings for each other were just being brought out through this kiss. It was not like anything else I had experienced before. It was magical. Everything I have ever wanted to say to him..was all being said as we kissed. Every single feeling I have ever felt toward him was pouring out and the feeling inside of relief and joy was turning into butterflies into my stomach. After a while, I felt Dougie's tongue flick against my lips, wanting entry. I happily obliged, and soon our tongues were dancing, fighting for dominance and after all the emotions and lust I was feeling towards the beautiful man in front of me, my tongue won. Soon our passionate kiss turned into a lustful one, our bodies getting closer and our pace quickening up. Soon Dougie had made me shuffle up to a wall so I was pinned to it. As he started to lean into me, I let my hands find my way up his shirt, feeling every single muscle he had on his torso. The kiss started to get a bit more heated as Dougie started to grind into me, causing us both to moan. It was the most pleasure I had ever had, and I was starting to enjoy it a bit too much. As I tried to stand up, lifting Dougie up with me, my knees caved in as I was still in shock with what has happening and both of us fell, banging our heads hard against the wall. We broke apart, our hands instantly going up to hold the lumps already swelling from our heads. 'I'm sorry Doug', I moaned in pain. Dougie, who had his back to me, turned around smiling that beautiful smile and started laughing. 'Oh Tom, I've obviously always been the stronger one, you should have let me get us up.' I joined in laughing, realising what just happened between me and Dougie. I crawled over close to him and pulled him on my lap. 'That kiss..was the best thing I have ever experienced' I whispered into his ear. Dougie looked at me, and I could see the joy in his eyes. Not the joy that he got from pirates or dinosaurs, this was a different type of joy. One that completely reflected what I was feeling. Dougie put his mouth so close to my ear, that his lips brushed them on every word he spoke, 'That kiss..was the start of something beautiful'.
