This was written before the super painful sneak peek for 2x20 was released, so I had still considered this a possibility. Now it serves to mend my broken heart. Hope you like it!
She wasn't jealous.
How could she be? She had no claim over the girl. No biological relation. She was her S.O., and that was all. And that was fine.
Melinda May released a deep breath and launched into the next sequence, fists colliding with the leather punching bag. With each hit, the bag swung violently, to the point where she had to stop every few seconds to still it. It wasn't particularly efficient, but she desperately needed to let off some steam, and this was the best way to do it.
Once again, May's life had been turned upside down in the course of a few weeks. She really shouldn't be surprised at this point. A stable life was meant for someone outside of her line of work. She had signed that away the moment she stepped through the gates at SHIELD academy. And she had made peace with that.
That didn't mean she liked it.
A second SHIELD had revealed itself. Skye disappeared. Coulson went on the run. May became part of the second SHIELD's board. Ward came back into their lives. Gonzales mounted an attack on the very group of people that Skye had disappeared to. Coulson had kept secrets from her.
A perfectly angled roundhouse kick knocked the bag off its hook. It fell to the floor with a loud smack.
"Wow," someone said from behind May. She stiffened. "Someone's angry."
"What do you want, Skye?" May moved over to where she dropped a water bottle back when she began her marathon workout session. She took a hearty swig, eyeing Skye. The younger woman stood in the doorway, dressed in an outfit similar to May's. She looked taken aback by May's blunt tone of voice.
"I noticed you were in here and thought maybe I'd join you. We haven't done any training since… everything." Skye bit her lip. "Unless you want to be alone, in which case I can go…"
May internally winced. She hadn't meant to snap at her. That was the last thing she wanted to do, in fact. But old habits die hard, she supposed.
"No, you can stay," May replied.
A tiny smile appeared on Skye's face, and she moved farther into the room. May hung the punching bag back on the hook, and Skye moved behind it, holding it in place. May began running through different combinations of punches and kicks, each move much smoother now that the bag was secure.
For several minutes, the gym was silent save for the sound of skin smacking the bag. May was so focused on the workout that she didn't notice Skye open her mouth and shut it multiple times. She bit her lip, watching May closely.
"Hey, May?" she said finally. The woman in question gave the bag one more hit before stilling. She stared at Skye, her expression colored slightly with irritation.
"I just…" Skye started. "I wanted to tell you… I just think you should know… I mean, this isn't an easy thing to say, but I want to talk to you about…"
"What, Skye?" May interrupted. Skye's face was flushed.
"I know about Bahrain."
A weight settled in May's stomach. She kept her face neutral, though her right hand clenched itself into a fist.
"Everyone knows about Bahrain," she managed stiffly. Skye swallowed.
"I mean, I know what really happened."
This was May's nightmare. Or, one of her nightmares. That someone would learn the truth of what she had done, that they would see her for the monster she really was. She knew what would happen once they did; they would ostracize her, fear her, hate her. The fact that that person was Skye hurt more than any bullet or punch ever would.
May turned away, focusing on the wall in front of her. She forced herself to speak.
"How did you find out?"
Skye hesitated. "Jiaying told me."
At the mention of the Inhuman leader, May tensed. Gonzales's attack resulted in the destruction of the Inhumans' home, which meant they had no place to go. Coulson graciously offered up the Playground until they could find a suitable replacement for Afterlife.
That was how May met Skye's mother. To be honest, she liked Jiaying. She had a calmness to her that May appreciated, and she was kind. She didn't make unfair demands, instead thanking SHIELD for all they had done to help her people. There was nothing wrong with her.
That didn't stop the burst of jealousy May felt every time she saw Jiaying and Skye together. It was stupid, really. Skye wasn't her daughter, she wasn't a mother. That was that.
But seeing the smile that appeared on Skye's face whenever Jiaying approached, or how they would often walk through the base just the two of them, talking, laughing… It reawakened feelings May thought to be long buried.
Ever since Skye had set foot on the Bus, May pictured her as the daughter she always wanted, but never got to have. The first time she did it, it terrified her so much she pushed the younger woman away, figuring if she wasn't emotionally attached, she wouldn't have those painful dreams. Despite that, Skye somehow wormed her way past May's barriers, bringing out that maternal side that had been dormant for so, so long. And May began to indulge in that fantasy, slowly allowing herself to see Skye as her little girl.
She took Skye under her wing, teaching and training her. When Skye developed her powers, May vowed to protect her from any threat. Skye was hers, and May would be damned if she let anything happen to her. The moment May realized she had fallen in love with her pseudo-daughter, she had smiled a true Melinda May smile, the one that was near-extinct after Bahrain.
Then Skye found her real mother, and May was pushed aside.
May was happy for Skye, really. She was glad Skye was able to get the answers she craved so much, that she could be with her real family. At least someone on the base was happy. Skye deserved it, truly. May just wished her happy ending hadn't come at the expense of May losing her baby.
"May?" prompted Skye when her S.O. didn't respond. May took a deep breath, preparing herself for the disgusted look that would no doubt be on Skye's face when she turned around.
"What?" She faced Skye, working to maintain her blank expression despite her roiling stomach.
Skye opened her mouth to say something, but shut it before she did. She shifted her weight back and forth while she worked out what to do. After a moment, she muttered something that sounded like screw it before striding forward and grasping May in a tight hug.
May froze, floored by Skye's response. This was the last thing she anticipated. Skye tightened her grip when May didn't move.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. May blinked, dazed.
"About what?"
"That you had to go through that," answered Skye. "That wasn't fair."
Head spinning, May stepped backwards out of Skye's arms. Skye suddenly looked worried, like she was afraid May would yell at her.
"You don't hate me?" May asked instead. Skye's face crumpled at the way May's voice broke. She cautiously reached out a hand, which made May flinch. She retracted it immediately.
"No way," Skye said. "I could never hate you. You did what you had to do. You saved so many people."
"I killed a little girl." It was the first time she had ever said it out loud. Some people might feel like a weight was lifted off their shoulders after admitting something like that, might feel freer. May just felt empty.
Skye shook her head, her eyes glassy. "You did what you had to do. No one blames you for that."
May was struggling to maintain her composure now. Was this really the same girl who once considered May to be an emotionless robot? The one who came onto the Bus an inexperienced Avengers fangirl?
When did she grow up? May thought.
Skye slowly raised her hand again. When May didn't react, she touched May's arm and gave a gentle squeeze. That's when a tear slipped from May's eye. Skye ignored it.
"I'm sorry," she said again.
May took a shaky breath. "Why did you tell me?"
Skye shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it was because I know you carry a lot of guilt from that day, and I wanted to help make it easier for you." She removed her hand from May's arm, glancing down at the ground. "I don't think I achieved that."
May surprised both herself and Skye by wrapping her arms around Skye's waist, burrowing her face in Skye's hair. She responded immediately, holding May close.
"Thank you," breathed May. Skye's words hadn't completely assuaged her guilt (nothing ever would), but they helped. At the very least, it was a relief to realize that one of the most important people in May's life wasn't going to turn her back on her with this knowledge.
"Of course," replied Skye. She gave May a little squeeze. "It's the least I could do, after everything you've done for me."
After a moment, May reluctantly removed herself from Skye's embrace and swiped her fingertips underneath her eyes, catching any tears that had escaped. Skye gave her a tentative smile, one that May tried to return.
"You've grown so much, you know," May said. "I've done all I can for you. You don't need me anymore. You've got your mom."
May hadn't meant to say the last part. She chalked it up to her emotional state. She was vulnerable, which meant she was more likely to reveal things she would rather keep private. This was not a position she wanted to be in.
Swallowing, she stepped away from Skye and set about gathering her things. She needed to get a hold of herself, and fast.
"Wait." Skye's voice brought her to a halt. Looking over, she saw Skye watching her with furrowed eyebrows. "Do you really think I don't need you?"
May shrugged, trying to pass it off as a nonchalant movement. "You've never really needed me. You're a strong girl, Skye. And I'm just your S.O." The words hurt May, but she worked to keep a straight face.
Skye smiled sadly. "Sorry to say it, Agent May, but that's where you're wrong. I did – do – need you. You're one of the first people who never turned their backs on me." She blushed slightly. "You've always been more than just my S.O. to me, and you always will be."
May was rendered speechless. Skye giggled.
"Got nothing to say? I think I should be proud of myself."
"But…" May managed. "You've got Jiaying."
Skye shrugged, mimicking May's earlier actions. "Yeah, and I'm glad I do. But before her, I never had someone to call mom." She gave May a sheepish look. "You were the first. And just because I've found Jiaying doesn't mean you still can't be my…" She hesitated, searching May's face as though she was waiting for permission. May gave a miniscule nod, and Skye finished her sentence. "Mom."
May could feel tears gathering in her eyes yet again. She hadn't cried this much since… Nope. She wasn't going there. She felt lighter, happier. Nothing was going to ruin this for her.
"Is that alright?" Skye asked worriedly. "We can totally forget this whole thing happened if you want, I don't mind."
"It's fine." May smiled, a tiny curling of her lips. It looked positively radiant to Skye. "Any woman would be lucky to have you for a daughter."
Skye beamed, and she hurried over to give May another hug. May allowed herself to relax into the embrace, feeling more content than she had in a very long time.
"Thanks, Mom."