!Memo! I found this story whilst looking through my email, and it reminded me of Grade 9 (those were the good old days). All I can say is, I quite literally laughed my arse off when I read it. This is a parody of the Shakespearean play A Midsummer Night's Dream that we did for English class, so we mean no offense. This was all in good fun. And also not written entirely by me. In fact, credit goes to Essie for writing the funniest piece of lit I have read in a while. Hahahahahaha.
"A MIDTERM DAYDREAM"
Act I, Scene I
Narrator: Once upon a time in a far, far away high school, there were five students: Puck, Hermia, Helena, Lysander and Demetrius. Hermia and Lysander were a happy couple. Helena was in a relationship with Demetrius, but was jealous of Hermia. Demetrius was love with Helena due to a mythical love juice, and Puck...well, nobody really knew anything about him except that he was the mysterious foreign exchange student.
(The school bell rings: Briiiiing!)
(Enter Hermia, Lysander, Helena and Demetrius in the hallways. Hermia and Lysander are talking)
Helena: Hi, Lysander. (Smiles and waves excitedly)
Lysander: Hi. What's up, Helena?
(Conversation interrupted)
Demetrius: (Running and panting) Wait, hold on, Helena…are we still up for our date today after school?
Helena: Umm…Yeah, sure. (Turns her back on Demetrius) Nothing much, Lysander.
Hermia: Come Lysander, you can walk me to lunch.
(Hermia and Lysander exit. Helena gives Hermia a dirty look)
Demetrius: Great, we can go see a movie or get something to eat. Anything you want, Helena.
(Helena isn't listening. Puck enters)
Demetrius: Hi, Puck.
Puck: (Nods) …
(Puck exits)
Demetrius: Hmm, ever since Puck arrived at our school I've felt a weird connection with him. Oh well.
Helena: Did you say something, Demetrius?
Demetrius: (Laughs) Haha. You're so funny, Helena.
(Helena and Demetrius exit)
Act I, Scene II
(Puck is standing in front of his locker and talking into his cell phone)
Puck: Hi Oberon, it's me, Puck. I did exactly what you told me to do.
(Enter Demetrius)
I found the boy Demetrius that you hate so much.
(Demetrius eavesdrops on their conversation)
I put our mystical love juice on his eyes and made him fall in love with a girl that doesn't even love him. It's hysterical, right? (Laughs) Haha.
(Puck exits)
Demetrius: Love juice? What is he talking about? My love for for Helena is real! Isn't it? I must find out the truth.
(Demetrius exits)
(Enter Lysander)
Narrator: Lysander is searching through his locker…
(Enter Helena)
Helena: (Acting surprised) Oh hi, Lysander! I didn't even see you there.
Lysander: Hi, Helena.
Lysander: Helena, Hermia and I aren't seeing each other anymore, so…do you want to go out on a date sometime?
Helena: You aren't seeing Hermia anymore? That's great! I mean, too bad. I'd love to go out on a date. How about today after school?
Lysander: Don't you have a date with Demetrius?
Helena: Who cares about that? I'll see you today after school. Bye!
(Helena exits)
(Enter Hermia)
Hermia: Hey Lysander!
Lysander: Hey, Hermia.
Hermia: I was thinking, do you want to go see a movie today after school?
Lysander: Sorry, I can't because I have lots of homework to do after school today.
Hermia: Aw.
Lysander: We can go out tomorrow, okay?
Hermia: Okay.
(Lysander and Hermia exit)
Act I, Scene III
(Puck enters and walks down the hall)
(Enter Demetrius)
(Demetrius follows Puck)
(Puck sits down)
(Demetrius attacks)
Demetrius: Now I've got you!
Puck: What? What are you doing?
Demetrius: I'm here for the truth.
Puck: (Innocently) What truth?
Demetrius: Don't play dumb. Who is this Oberon you were talking to before?
Puck: (Shocked) You were listening in on a personal conversation! Tsk, tsk tsk. Shame on you.
Demetrius: Tell me who he is...or else.
Puck: Hey, hey, no need for violence. I'll tell you who he is. Oberon is my boss. He hates your father. Oberon says he stole his idea, so he's planning revenge. And you're the perfect target. Besides, he really doesn't like you.
Demetrius: Hmm. Planning revenge, eh? Well I won't allow that. Give me the antidote for the love juice.
Puck: Th...the love juice. You heard that too. Who said there is an antidote?
Demetrius: (Glares at Puck) There better be one!
Puck: Okay, okay. Calm down, here is the antidote.
(Puck hands over the antidote)
(Demetrius sprinkles it over himself)
Act II, Scene I
(Helena and Lysander enter)
Helena: Today was such a great day.
Lysander: Well, I'm happy you're having fun.
(Hermia enters)
(Hermia eavesdrops on the conversation)
Helena: I'm so happy we went on this date today…
Lysander: I'm glad too.
Helena: I wonder what Hermia will say when she finds out we're a couple.
Hermia: (Enraged) How dare he! How dare she!
(Helena, Lysander and Hermia exit)
Narrator: The next day in the classroom…
(Helena and Hermia enter)
Hermia: You…you brat! How could you do this to me?!
Helena: Me? What did I do?
Hermia: You tried to steal Lysander from me!
Helena: I didn't steal him, you two aren't even together anymore.
Hermia: Excuse me! You want a piece of this?
Helena: You know what, I do.
(Lysander and Demetrius enter)
Demetrius: What's going on here?
Helena: (Glares at Hermia) She's accusing me of stealing Lysander from her!
Hermia: Why, you…
(Puck enters and takes a seat. The bell rings: Briiiiing!)
(Puck wakes up)
Puck: Huh? Where am I? (Looks at the clock) Oh no, I'm going to be late for second period!
THE END.