Team: Holyhead Harpies
Position: Beater 2
Lyrics: "Wait, there's no mountain too great. Hear the words and have faith. Have faith." From "He Lives In You" by Mark Mancina.
Prompts: Less than perfect; who we were.
"Tyler, come on. You can make it, we know you can." I said, gripping his hand, willing him to live.
"Neville?"
"What? What do you want?" I asked urgently. If there was anything he needed, anything at all, I wanted to make sure he got it. This kid was a hero.
"You're a leader, Neville. Be one." he whispered. His eyes went glassy, and it seemed as if a light turned off within him. I knew he was gone.
"Tyler?" My voiced cracked. "Tyler!" I couldn't believe it. He was really dead. "No..." I spoke softly, turning my face away from the rest of Dumbledore's Army. I saw Ginny out of the corner of my eye, wiping away a tear with the palm of her hand. I heard small sniffles and a few hiccoughs scattered throughout the DA. Somehow, I felt responsible for this.
Tyler was a great guy, filled with much bravado (which didn't quite go with his rather small stature). It was September, and he had only just started his 4th year. He was the youngest member of Dumbldore's Army. We tried to talk him out of joining, for his own safety, but he insisted. His goal in life was to help people. He was wise beyond his years; a Hufflepuff filled with the bravery of a Gryffindor and the wisdom of a Ravenclaw.
He died defending a 1st year from Alecto Carrow. Carrow was teaching (also known as "torturing") the 1st year for speaking out of turn. Tyler saw that the 1st year wouldn't be able to take much more, and disarmed Carrow. Needless to say, in Carrow's eyes, severe punishment was in order. While being tortured, Tyler slammed his head on the unforgiving dungeon walls. He's gone because of internal bleeding.
His death marked the gruesome milestone of one fatality; but it was more than that. Hogwarts has always been a place of safety for its students. A place, though filled with some dangers itself, that could shelter its pupils from the outside world, for the most part. We always knew of the troubles out there, but the staff and faculty of Hogwarts tried their best to protect us from harm. We knew people could get hurt, but we never imagined one of us actually dying. The death of Cedric Diggory was like an alarm clock; the alarm went off, but it was ignored. And when you hit the snooze button in hopes of prolonging the blissful sleep of ignorance, the alarm will always come back to bite you. I guess Tyler's death was the alarm coming back. We all dispersed, to mourn in our own separate ways. The very first drops of rain ran down the stained glass windows of Hogwarts, crying the tears we struggled to hold in.
Later that evening, we all gathered in the Room of Requirements. We didn't practice spells, we didn't trade any new information on Harry, Ron, and Hermione. We all just stayed there, either completely silent or chatting softly.
I rethought Tyler's last words to me.
"You're a leader, Neville. Be one."
I was so confused. How could I, Neville Longbottom, possibly be a leader? I was the laughingstock of Hogwarts, a complete disgrace to my entire family, and I couldn't even walk on a flat surface without somehow falling on my face. Simply put, I wasn't good enough to be a leader. Harry was a perfect example of what a leader should be; strong, steady, and competent, he was an excellent figure of authority that the DA could look up to. But I was a totally different story. I was too shy, too timid, to ever be someone anyone could possibly respect. Rain started to pound on the windows, rather loudly. I shoved my hands into my pockets and proceeded to walk aimlessly around the room, head down, my feet dragging. I felt small, a complete waste of time and energy. Tyler shouldn't have wasted his last words on me. I wasn't worth his last breath.
And as if I needed my ego any more bruised, I tripped over my own feet. Stumbling, and ultimately falling, my low confidence dwindled down to nothing. I sniveled pathetically, wiping my nose on my sleeve. I shamefully stood, tears in my eyes. A leader wouldn't cry. I felt a soft hand on my shoulder, so light it was hardly there.
"There's no need to be embarrassed," Luna said. "Everyone is sad."
"He told me... to be a leader. But I know that... I just can't be." I admitted. Luna was my best friend. I knew I could tell her anything, because she never judges. She watches and listens, but never judges.
"No Neville, that isn't true. It just means Tyler saw something in you that you can't see in yourself. You're special, Neville. You can be a leader."
"No Luna, I can't. I'm... weak. I can't support the DA. I can't even support myself," I said, getting choked up. "We need Harry. I can't live up to their expectations! I can't substitute for someone amazing when I'm just... not. I'm not sure what Tyler saw in me, but it just isn't there."
"But it isn't just Tyler, Neville. I see it too!" Luna grasped my hand in hers, holding on tightly. "We can't let our past struggles define ourselves. We make mistakes, we have problems. We either face them and overcome them, or run away and let them catch up to you. You are a perfectly imperfect person, and those are the best kind. Because you chose to face your problems, and conquer them. You look at every obstacle, every mountain, and you overcome them, Neville! And you judge yourself, because you fall, and because you're less than perfect. But you seem to not realize that everybody falls! And while they would give up, you get back up every time. And while others would run away from that mountain, you start again and climb back up. And you reach the top, and you see that there's another mountain, bigger, taller, but you don't give up, and you climb that mountain, too. You think that you're inferior because you have so many mountains to overcome, while it seems others have none, but it's because they're running away. They're running away from their own fear, their own problems, while you climb to the top of every one, and you never stop. There is no mountain too great for you, Neville. So stop keeping yourself in the mold of your mountains, stop limiting and restricting yourself because of your imperfections. Listen to me! You need to have faith in yourself, Neville! Our pasts are who we were, not who we are. And with every mountain you climb, you get higher and higher, and one day Neville, you will be the highest of all of us! Don't you see? You are exactly what we need. You can be a leader." She stood on her toes, and kissed my cheek.
"I believe in you, Neville."
I didn't realize I was crying until I tasted the salt in my mouth. Nobody had ever expressed their belief in me like that. Nobody had ever had such confidence in me before. The storm picked up. Rolling thunder boomed, while sharp lightning cracked white in great contrast to the inky blackness of the night sky. Usually I would've jumped, startled by the sudden noises. But not this time. Luna's speech gave me a strength that was before unknown. The storm raged, but instead of frightening me, it filled me with a confidence that I have never felt. I was going to do what Tyler wanted me to do; what he knew I could do.
I was going to be a leader.