Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and associated characters are not mine.
The village mayor, Kavanagh, had offered a reward of 500 gold to whoever managed to rid the hills of the incredibly bad-tempered dragon who had taken up residence in a cave there.
As far as rewards went it was fairly generous – though this may have had something to do with the disappearance of all the other knights who had attempted to slay this particular dragon.
As far as Sir Sheppard was concerned, it was considerably better than the promise of a princess's hand in marriage. He had plenty of serving girls and peasants to keep his bed warm at nights, and that was all he really wanted out of life. The idea of a settling down in one place was enough to make his skin crawl and send him running for his horse, Puddlejumper.
Besides, there was always his reputation to consider. Dragon slaying was practically a necessity if you wanted to become a successful knight – it got you invited to all the parties with the pretty girls and free drinks.
So that was why he found himself riding towards the small village of Athos, his faithful squire Ronon walking briskly by his side. At least, John assumed he was faithful – he didn't really talk enough to determine his allegiances one way or another. Still, he'd saved John's life a number of times, and he was handy to have around when it came to carrying heavy stuff – like a troll's head.
Ronon would've made an excellent knight, but unfortunately he was born to commoners, which meant that squire was as far as he'd advance. Even as a squire he managed to make most people think twice about crossing John – something about the way he loomed over them.
Athos didn't really have much to offer as far as travel destinations went – it was in the middle of nowhere and it was bordered by the Pegasus Forest – a place that was rumoured to be inhabited by all sorts of nasty magical creatures. The Wraith in particular were a problem most of the time – especially around midsummer eve when their insubstantial forms could leave the shelter of the forest and wreck havoc on the unsuspecting villagers.
On top of that, it had only one place to stay – the Atlantis Inn, which is where Sir Sheppard decided to spend the night in hope of learning more about the dragon which he'd come to slay.
Once the horse was properly stabled – Ronon was very effective at cowing the stable boys into giving Puddlejumper the best stall – the squire settled at a table on the edge of the room and began demolishing a large platter of food sufficient to feed an entire family.
John knew better than to question his squire's eating habits – as far as flaws went it was only really a problem went they were travelling and getting low on food. Besides, it left him free to see what the locals knew about the dragon.
This turned out to be a far bit. It seemed that the dragon had actually been living in the hills for quite some time, but hadn't been much of a problem until lately – coincidently around the time that Kavanagh was elected major.
"I honestly have no idea who thought it would be a good idea to elect that monkey," the man he was talking to – Radek – grumbled. "He's done nothing but whinge ever since he got the position." Radek and his wife Elizabeth owned the Atlantis Inn, and had lived in Athos all their lives.
"Any idea why the Mayor wants this dragon dead so badly?" John asked quickly, completely uninterested in the local politics.
Radek gave him a sly grin. "The idiot sent some of his men to evict the dragon, and ever since Rodney's only been stealing Kavanagh's lifestock."
"Rodney?" John asked, puzzled.
"Aye," the village doctor, Carson interjected from over his beer. "That's the dragon's name."
John frowned. "Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully. Dragon's were notoriously secretive about their names since they could be bound with them.
Radek nodded seriously. "Rodney's been here most of our lives, Sir Sheppard. We found his name not long after he moved here – it seemed like a sensible precaution."
John thanked them and returned to his table, deep in thought. Knowing the dragon's name would make his job a lot easier – though he still would have to be careful. The name hadn't been much use to the knights who'd gone before him after all.
It was cold and dreary at first light, which in a fit of insanity the night before John had decided they would leave at. Yawning as he stumbled outside half-asleep, he was further annoyed to see Ronon looking wide awake and cheerful – or at least what passed as cheerful for Ronon.
"Never again," John declared firmly, reaching for the reins. "You are forbidden to allow me to get up this early, understand?" he told Ronon as he mounted Puddlejumper.
Ronon shrugged. "It was your decision," he replied calmly.
John groaned. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," he muttered to himself. He and Ronon had had the same conversation many times before. John secretly believed that Ronon liked getting up early, hence the reason he never reminded John of how much he disliked the early mornings.
They set off, Ronon's stride easily keeping pace with John's horse. Even if John had had the money to buy a horse for Ronon, he doubted that he'd ever be able to find one big enough to carry the giant squire. One of the village boys, Jinto, pointed out the path leading into the forest that led to the dragon's cave and they followed that into the leafy depths of the Pegasus Forest.
It was mid-morning when they happened across the young woman gathering herbs in a clearing by the road.
"Excuse me damsel," Sheppard said to her, giving the full effect of his charm. "Could you perhaps tell me where I might find the dragon that has been terrorising yonder village?"
She straightened and turned to look at him, her eyes wise in a golden-hued face that was framed by brown waves. "What doth thy business be with Rodney?" she asked, her voice musical in the still forest.
"Why fair lady, I am a knight," Sheppard replied gallantly. "I have come to slay the beast and free the village from his tyranny." In truth John had some doubts as to the validity of the last statement, but if the tale of his slaying of the dragon was to be told, then he wanted it to sound as impressive as possible.
The woman nodded thoughtfully. "Then I shall speed you on your way. If you leave the path at the bridge and follow the river into the valley you shalt reach the dragon's cave in half the time it would normally take."
John managed a half-bow from where he was seated on his horse. "I thank you for your help, fair lady," he said gratefully and continued down the road. The lady stood watching them until they were out of sight, then grabbed her broom from under a nearby tree and launched off into the sky.
"You do realise she was a witch?" Ronon remarked causally as they worked their way down to the river.
"She was?" John asked in surprise. "Are you sure?"
Ronon just looked at him, which John correctly interpreted as Ronon's way of saying that of course he was sure. Ronon rarely ventured an opinion on anything unless he was fairly certain about something.
John considered this revelation for a moment. "So you don't think we can trust her?" he asked disappointedly.
Ronon shrugged. "Most witches are quite reliable," he replied slowly. "But I've also heard of them working with magical creatures like dragons."
John sighed. "I guess we're in for a long walk then."
Ronon cast a pointed glance at John's horse, but refrained from commenting.
The next distraction came about an hour later. John was actually almost glad for it – travelling with Ronon might be safe, but he wasn't exactly the most talkative of people. John was pretty such that he'd had longer conversations with complete strangers.
A young man dropped out of a tree in front of them, brandishing a rather rusty sword. One of his eyes was completely black, and the side of face looked like it had been badly burnt.
"Your money or your life!" he declared, waving the sword threateningly.
Ronon stepped forward to deal with the threat, but John waved him back. He was bored and the outlaw looked like he might provide a few minutes of entertainment.
"If I had money, don't you think I'd be off spending it somewhere instead of traipsing through this forest?" he asked reasonably.
The outlaw considered this for a moment, and Ronon took the opportunity to jump in with his usual lack of tact.
"What happened to your face?" he asked bluntly and John winced slightly. This could only end badly – for the outlaw. If he got offended he might attack Ronon, which could have been Ronon's intention, and no one could take Ronon. John himself didn't fancy the idea of fighting the squire when he was in a bad mood.
The outlaw only shrugged sheepishly, however. "I ran afoul of a Wizard's Ward," he explained. "I got sick of everyone back home staring at me so I decided to make a life for myself in the forest."
John nodded sympathetically. For all that he'd chosen a career as an outlaw, the man looked like he'd just reached adulthood. "How's the lifestyle working out for you?" he asked curiously.
"Not so good," the young man admitted. "Not many folk from the village venture too far into the trees, and the only travellers heading this way are trying to slay the dragon. The forest people really don't have much to steal, and I'm not crazy enough to try stealing from Teyla or the dragon."
"Who's Teyla?" John asked curiously.
The young man glanced over his shoulder as if he was worried about being watched. "She's a witch," he explained. "She lives with her apprentice in a cottage not far from the dragon's cave."
Ronon shot John a glance that clearly said 'I told you so'.
John studiously ignored him. "Why don't you move closer to civilisation then?" he asked the outlaw.
The man shrugged. "I kind of like it around here," he replied. "It's far enough from home that I don't have to put up with my grandparent's worrying, but close enough that I can visit them from time to time."
"You could get a job," John suggested, gesturing back towards the village they'd left earlier that morning. "People around here are used to seeing strange creatures from the forest, so the novelty of staring at you would wear off pretty fast."
The man considered this. "That's not a bad idea," he remarked. "But I'm not sure what I'd be good at."
"Go see Elizabeth at the Atlantis Inn," John instructed him. "Tell her that Sir Sheppard sent you. I'm sure she'll be able to find you something."
The young man nodded enthusiastically. "I will, thanks," he replied with a grin before darting back into the forest.
John looked after him in satisfaction. "Well, that's my good deed for the day," he announced.
Ronon frowned. "I thought you were supposed to catch outlaws, not offer them career advice," he pointed out.
"Ah, but this is more effective in the long run," John replied, nudging Puddlejumper into a walk again. "This way he gets to contribute to society, and I don't have to catch him again when he gets out of prison."
Ronon looked sceptical, but didn't comment.
It took the rest of the morning to reach the hillside that the dragon's cave was located in. John dismounted at the foot and handed to reins to Ronon.
"I'll go in alone," he said to the squire. "If it looks like I'm in trouble…"
"I'll come and help finish him off," Ronon finished for him.
John frowned. 'I was going to say get out of here, but that works too I suppose."
Ronon grinned. "Don't sorry, I've got your back," he said firmly.
John nodded in acknowledgement of the other man's support, and drew his sword before swiftly making his way up the mountain. Unfortunately, it proved near impossible to climb over uneven ground in a suit of armour and not make a noise.
Fortunately, the dragon was making too much noise to be able to hear if an entire army was approaching, let alone one little knight. As he drew closer, he was able to make out the beast's words in between the bellows.
"No, don't plant those there," the dragon roared, followed by a bellow that sounded suspiciously like a giant sneeze. "I'm allergic to them."
A quieter female voice replied, but John was unable to make out the words.
"I don't care if they match my eyes," the beast howled in frustration, "they make my eyes water and my throat swell."
John frowned. It wasn't exactly the conversation that he'd imagined a ferocious dragon having, but then he'd never actually met a dragon before.
Reaching the entrance to the cave, he peered inside. To his astonishment he saw a pretty young woman standing next to the dragon, a collection of potted plants sitting nearby. John studied the scene, trying to make some sense of what he was seeing. Perhaps the dragon had kidnapped the girl? Somehow that didn't seem right, but John told himself it didn't matter. He had a job to do.
Holding his sword at the ready, he stepped out from his hiding place. "Rodney," he bellowed. "By your name, I bind thee."
The two occupants of the cave turned at stared at him in surprise. The dragon recovered first.
"Oh, not another one," he complained bitterly. "That's the third this month, and there were at least five last month."
The woman nodded in agreement. "Kavanagh's really outdone himself with his attempts to get rid of you. Perhaps you underestimated him?"
The dragon rolled it's eyes. "Oh please, the man is an idiot. He's just a persistent idiot. Hey, you with the sword, how much is he offering you to slay me?"
John frowned. This wasn't working like he'd thought it would. "500 gold," he replied, his glaze carefully tracking the dragon's every move.
Rodney reared back with a snort. "500 gold?" he howled, affronted. "I knew I should've eaten more of his goats. That's practically an insult."
"Actually, I believe that 500 gold is considered to be a decent reward at the moment," the woman interjected.
"Maybe," the dragon muttered crossly, "but I'm more valuable because my superior intellect makes me more of a challenge."
John decided that he'd better take control of the situation, and fast. Raising his sword he intoned "Rodney, by thy name I command thee. Leave these hills and never return."
To his surprise the dragon applauded. "Very nice," he said sarcastically. "That's the best performance I've seen yet. Now leave, I'm busy trying to convince Katie that I need to be able to breath in my own cave."
"Wait a minute," John protested. "You're supposed to obey me."
The dragon shook his head solemnly. "That's only if you use my true name, which isn't Rodney."
"Oh?" John said sceptically. "What is it then?"
The dragon looked at him incredulously. "Is there even a brain under all that hair?" he asked in amazement. "What are you, twelve? Please tell me you didn't expect that to actually work?"
John shrugged, tightening his grip on his sword. "It was worth a try," he replied, studying the dragon for the best angle of attack.
The dragon noticed and groaned. "Not you too," he complained. "How am I supposed to get any work done if people keep on attacking me? I need a guarddog, or a bodyguard or something. Katie, find me a bodyguard," he commanded the young woman, who glanced at him in amusement.
"How about him?" she suggested, pointing behind John.
John risked a quick glance over his shoulder and spotted Ronon making his way towards them.
Rodney studied the squire critically. "He'll do, I suppose. Hey you, how'd you like a job?"
Ronon came to a stop beside John. "I have a job," he replied simply.
"Whatever you're earning, I'll double it," Rodney offered.
To John's dismay Ronon appeared to consider the offer. "Hey," he hissed, "you're supposed to help me slay the dragon, not work for it."
Ronon shrugged. "He's offering money," he pointed out.
John sighed. As far as Ronon was concerned, money equalled food, and food was a great enticement for the squire. "We'll get 500 gold when we finish the job," he reminded him.
"I'll give you twice that not to kill me," the dragon offered calmly.
John frowned suspiciously. "I thought dragons didn't part with their gold?" he asked.
Rodney shrugged. "It's just taking up room in my lab," he replied. "It's probably delaying me in making a major scientific breakthrough."
Ronon actually looked surprised at that. "Aren't dragons supposed to be magical creatures, not sorcerers?"
"The word you're looking for is Mage," Rodney replied haughtily, "and I don't really like using straight magic – it's too unorderly."
"And you're offering us a job?" John asked interested in spite of himself.
"Well, I was actually offering him a job," Rodney gestured at Ronon, "but I suppose I could hire you as a team. I might actually be able to concentrate on my work them."
John looked at Ronon who shrugged. "We'll accept on the condition that you stop bothering the villagers," John said finally.
"Not even Kavanagh?" Rodney asked with a sigh.
John shrugged. "Well, maybe him a little, but no eating his livestock. Or him," he hastily added at the gleam in Rodney's eyes.
"Fine," Rodney agreed, making a gesture with one claw. A small pile of gold appeared next to John and Ronon. "That's this month's pay in advance. And for that sort of money I don't want to hear even a single hoof beat from a knight coming to challenge me."
"Alright," John said, gesturing for Ronon to pick up the gold. That was what a squire was for, after all. "So, how did you manage to defeat all those other knights?" he asked the dragon curiously.
Katie grinned at them. "That's were Teyla and I come in," she said cheerfully.
John stared at her. "You're a witch?" he asked in surprise. They really should have to wear nametags, or pointy hats, or something.
Katie shrugged. "Well, I'm actually still an apprentice, but I can still do simple transportation spells. How do you think the cave stays so clean?"
The dragon looked at her in astonishment. "I thought it was naturally like that," he said, sounding surprised.
Katie glared at him. "Well, it isn't," she replied. "Anyway, Teyla and I just transported the others away as soon as they started to attack."
"They never returned," John pointed out dubiously.
Katie smiled at him innocently. "Well, Teyla moved hers to the other side of the Black Mountains, so they might find their way back in the next five or so years," she replied sweetly.
"What about the ones you transported?" John asked suspiciously.
"Oh, I just moved them to the Nymphs glen," she replied cheerfully. "They're quite free to leave – when they want to…"
John laughed. "How far away would you say this glen is?" he asked curiously.
Rodney glared at him. "You have a job to do," he pointed out.
John sighed. "Don't worry, you won't be bothered by visitors," he reassured the dragon. That didn't mean he couldn't do a little exploring in his free time. Perhaps there were dryads down by the river…
John settled into his new life quite happily. Rodney's reputation kept most knights at bay, so John was able to find the time to clear the area of as many Wraith as possible. Ronon and Teyla were getting along well, and Katie had even managed to convince Rodney to help build a small cottage for John and Ronon to live in – which meant that everything was at perfect right angles – and the house was full of flowers (Katie's touch).
Elizabeth gave the outlaw, Ford, a job at the Atlantis Inn where he discovered an unsuspected aptitude for cooking.
And so everything worked out perfectly – until Rodney's sister came to visit, but that's another story.