"Welcome to C.C.G.C. Mr. Wayne!" a cheerful woman in a sweet pink dress greeted, handing him a black bag and a VIP badge. "As your butler requested there is a selection of costumes for your use after the inauguration! We even found you a Batman costume with the appropriate padding, sir!"
Bruce smiled his dopiest smile, taking the bag from the overly cheerful young woman and kissing the back of her hand.
"Thank you miss…" Bruce squinted at the woman's nametag carefully pinned at the frills in her breasts. "Madowkay? Hahah! I don't think I would like to be Batman though, he's far too scary and too big, I don't want to scare my children. My Dami is not the Batman type, don't you agree Tommy?"
Tim, who had been quietly standing behind Bruce, simply rolled his eyes in fond amusement.
"Sure, Brucie," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Plus Damian is more the real hero type."
The woman blinked, peering behind Tim's shoulder at the youngest Wayne heir who had dressed in a long, leather trench coat, black leather pants and a black turtle neck.
A black eyepatch covering his left eye…
A black eyepatch with a kitten drawn on it.
"Ooooh!" she cooed. "Welcome to Comic Con Gotham City, Director Fury."
Damian raised an eyebrow at the woman, a biting retort ready at the tip of his tongue, Tim was sure, but luckily a well-placed elbow from Dick was enough to quiet their youngest member's disposition.
"Thank you," he said, finally, nodding to her. "It is quite fun to visit this city."
The woman giggled.
"Any chance you will have a meeting with the Batman?" she asked, amused. Damian wrinkled his nose.
"That wacko? Not a chance, and even if I was to meet him, I would not go myself, that's what my agents are for."
The boy's visible blue eye turned then to glare at Tim, who simply shrugged his shoulders, a fond smile on his face.
"Oh?" the woman asked, staring at the teen.
Tim simply lifted his hoodie, showing her his red and blue costume.
"Aren't they adorable?" Bruce laughed, placing a hand on one shoulder each. "Captain Fury and Ant Man."
"We are Director Fury and Spiderman, father," Damian sighed, pouting.
"That's what I said! Hahah!" Bruce replied, shaking his head.
The woman sighed, laughing nervously.
"What an ensemble, then, Mr. Wayne," she beamed forcedly, turning to stare at the whole party. "You brought Spiderwoman too and oh, that's the awesomest Spawn costume I've ever seen!"
Cass simply nodded at the woman, her hand reaching to entwine her fingers with Tim's.
Behind them, the tall Spawn simply shrugged his shoulders, guns cocked over his shoulders.
Tim rolled his eyes behind the woman's shoulders, trust Jason to make a statement.
He really hoped those were not his real guns.
… he doubted it, at least.
"And you, Mr. Grayson? What did you come as?" the woman continued, gushing at the older man who simply wore a cheap grey suit with a blue tie.
"Oh, my costume comes in two parts!" Dick laughed, wagging his eyebrows. "Now I'm the everyday man! I could be anyone! But if I do this…"
And he started to unbutton his white shirt, slowly, teasingly, eyes set on the woman's.
Behind him, Spawn snorted, Spiderwoman tilted her head and Bruce did his best to remain quiet.
"Oh! How clever! The every day man AND Superman!" the woman in pink gushed, cheeks red.
"Sure thing!" the beamed back. "Superman is the greatest hero ever. Of course I wanted to dress as him!"
"Dirk has been a fan of Superman since he was a little boy!" Bruce chirped, eyes fond.
"That's so adorable!" the woman cooed. "Well then, why don't you all pose for the site's gallery?"
"Sure thing, and then I'll let the children go and have fun, hahahah!" Brucie cooed back. "They do like their comics so much."
Two hours later Bruce had disappeared in an effort to run from the press while Dick wheeled Poison Ivy around the con, pointing at every single Nightwing costume he could find while beaming in pride.
Barbara simply shook her head fondly, snapping pictures left and right.
Jason had been separated from the group by a team of overzealous fans that wanted to have him pose with his guns, his chains, cover themselves in his cape and gasp in awe at his tall, muscular form.
Cass had met with Miss Marvel and the two of them had promptly decided to walk around while leaving Damian and Tim alone.
Damian, so far, was the most popular, and Tim idly wondered if the boy realized it wasn't because his uncanny similarity with Director Fury himself, but because of his size. He decided he might as well let the boy be while he grabbed his camera and snapped pictures all around.
"Hey, Baby Bird," Jason growled as he materialized behind him. "We have a situation."
"What do you mean?" he asked, turning and peering at Jason's masked face through his own mask.
The older teen directed Tim's sight towards Cass and Steph as they were practically harassed by …. Deadpool.
"Oh," he sighed. "I thought you told the girls that the Deadpool cosplayers were… weird?"
"I'm the outcast, remember? You are the smart one," Jason shrugged, amusement clear on his voice.
"I'm sure Cass and Steph can take care of themselves?" Tim tried. "Oh, look, he's going!"
"Directly towards Damian…" Jason finished for him.
"Damn it!" Tim cursed under his breath. "Where's Dick?"
"Trying to pull his pants back up where Deadpool pulled them down?" Jason snorted, scratching his forehead with the barrel of his gun. "You do have to admit the guy is funny."
"Funny or not he's gonna be turned into mincemeat if we don't get there," Tim growled, snapping his back with an audible crack – posing as Spiderman was tiresome and awesome at the same time, he was sure Dick was jealous by now – before he sprinted towards his youngest brother who was, quite at that same moment, trying to kick the Deadpool cosplayer to oblivion and… failing miserably.
"Damian?" Tim asked, blinking.
"Stop… that… bastard!" Damian huffed, continuing to attack.
"Time out, D," Jason said with fake cheer, grabbing the younger boy by the waist and hoisting him up in the air at the same time Dick had finally pulled his pants back up – teehee, Superman underwear too, the Watchtower would have a fest over this – and Cass and Steph had joined in, ready to help subdue their resident psychopath.
"Let me go, Todd!" Damian growled, hands in the air. "I'll kill him!"
The crowd that had formed around them ooh-ed and aah-ed as they snapped pictures with their cellphones because, yeah, it was pretty funny and Deadpool just continued to evade Damian's fists and laugh boisterously at him.
Tim sighed.
"Umm… Deadpool?" he asked, tapping the taller man on the shoulder.
The cosplayer turned.
"Oooh, Spidey-pooh!" he squealed, instantly wrapping his arms around the teen and rubbing his cheek against his. "I knew I'd get your attention!"
Cass, Steph, Damian, Jason and Dick gapped.
The fanboys snapped more pictures.
The fangirls screamed for more SpideyPool.
"Ack!" Tim said. "Let me go!"
"No can do!" Deadpool beamed. "Let's go make more fanservice, Peetey!"
With a quick movement, and before any trained members of the Bat-family – seriously? What was this guy? A meta? – could react, Deadpool had thrown Tim over his shoulder, waved at the crowd, and sprinted away, cackling maniacally as he did so.
Damian snarled in rage, pulling one of Jason's guns from his waist and dashing after them.
Steph cracked her knuckles, still feeling violated by the insane cosplayer, and decided to follow Damian, shrieking her rage.
Jason shrugged, his own smirk twisting his mask as he joined the chase, gun at the ready.
Dick pulled his phone, frantically calling the Manor, the Titan's Tower, the Watchtower, anyone who could help them retrieve their Timmy.
Cass blinked and turned to Barbara, who was happily snapping pictures herself.
They both smiled at eachother.
From his place on Deadpool's shoulder, Tim sighed in exasperation.
"Seriously?" he said, resting his elbow on his captor's shoulder and placing his chin on the palm of his hand. "You just had to do this? Seriously?"
Deadpool turned to him, his square chin twisting his red, black and white mask into a happy-smile.
"You guys started the bullying, I'm just putting an end to it," he said, squeaky voice going deep and throaty.
"The guys don't realize it's you," Tim argued, rolling his eyes.
"Their fault then," the cosplayer shrugged, evading a bullet from Damian, or Jason, or even Dick, who was he to know now? All the while continuing his maddened laughter.
"You are such a brat, Bruce, seriously," Tim sighed, wrapping his arms tighter around his mentor's neck as they continued to evade the rest of the family.
He did have to admit, it was the funniest con he had gone to in years.