I don't own Hetalia. Please don't try to sue me I'm already poor enough as it is. I also don't own Sweden or pepparkaka. Just putting that out there...

This is also a crack story. I got really bored and decided to write this crap. So yeaaaaaaaaah it's a little break from the normal EstoniShaq.

Sweden was a' walkin' through the grocery store with Danmark. Danmark was being obnoxious as normal and was pretending to be Gerard Way as he ran up and down the aisle.

"YOOOOOOOO I'M THE ULTIMATE SASS QUEEN!" Danmark yelled, frightening a little child as he accidentally toppled over onto some toilet paper. "hahaha look at me..."

Sweden walked unamused past him. "S'ut up, Dane."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaw Sweden you're no fun today! I thought coming to get a cake for Tino would be fun!" Danmark pouted as he perched up on a box of cat litter and poked Sweden. "Come on let's do something cool! Something fun! Something risky! Something...dangerous!"

"L'ke w't?" Sweden said as he picked up a bottle of dish soap for Tino and his' kitchen.

"I don't know...let's steal something!" Danmark said quietly to the Swede. Or at least, as quietly as the Dane could be.

"Th't's not a g'd id'a, Dane..." Sweden said and hesitantly looked at Danmark.

"Come on, Sve! It'll be fun! I've stolen lots of stuff!" Danmark said and grabbed a random box of pepparkaka that was sitting on the shelf. "Here, just tuck this in your knickers or something!"

"'K..." Sweden said and tucked it in his coat instead of his 'knickers'. "I d'nt kn' 'bout this, Dane..."

"Oh, come on Sweden, don't be such a little bitch!" Danmark said and laughed, "I steal stuff all the time! I managed to get away with a whole 10-pound fish once for Norge! And that's just a little box of pepparkaka! It won't be bad!"

"K..." Sweden hesitantly said and kept going to the checkout.

~~~~~at Sweden's house~~~~~

Sweden greeted Finland and Sealand and went to the bathroom. He carefully closed the door and quietly removed the package of pepparkaka he had stolen from the store. He felt really bad about it and turned the little red box over and over in his hands.

"YO TIK!" the box turned over in Sweden's hands and began talking. "Lägga ner mig för Guds skull , din jävla röv torka!"

"BORK!" Sweden yelled out and dropped the box of pepparkaka that was cursing him out in Swedish. "W-what?"

"Yeah you hole, why'd you steal me, eh?" the box grew little arms from the flaps on the side. "Didn't your mother ever teach you stealing was wrong?"

"Uh, y'ha, y'a see, 't wasn' m' fault!" Sweden said and perched up on the toilet trying to get away from the scary little box of pepparkaka.

"Like Helvete it wasn't. Was it you or that idiot blonde that took me out of the store?" the box said and snarled. Sweden gulped and began responding.

"W'll...'t w's me b' I 's pr'ssured!" Sweden said and grabbed a cross off the bathroom counter quietly while the box of pepparkaka was busy telling him off.

"Well you should have told that idiot blonde that he was wrong! Shove me down his pants I'd bit his balls off!" the angry little box of pepparkaka was yelling.

"DIE SATAN DIE!" Sweden grabbed the cross and began beating the box of pepparkaka with it. "DIE! DIE! DEMONS BE GONE!"

"Sweden?" Tino's trembling voice came from outside the bathroom door. "Are-are you ok?"

"Y'ha," Sweden said and turned his back on the pepparkaka for a minute. Big mistake.

"NYAAAAAAAAA!" the box of pepparkaka (now all beat up) latched itself on Sweden's head. "MEEEEEEEHHHHH!"

"What?" Sweden cried and grabbed the box of pepparkaka and held it in his hands. "Stop! Not today bitch!"

The box of pepparkaka opened up and all the indivual cookies dumped on the floor. Sweden sighed a breath of relief and threw it in the trash can. He picked up the crumbs meticulously and went out of the room.

"Jag kommer...tillbaka..." the box of pepparkaka raised its tiny little cardboard flap fist. "Detta är...inte slutet!

The pepparkaka will return...wait for Chapter 2...

TRANSLATIONS:

~~yo, bitch!~~ yo, tik!

~~put me down for God's sake, you fucking ass wipe!~~Lägga ner mig för Guds skull , din jävla röv torka!

~~hell~~helvete

~~I will...be back...~~ Jag kommer...tillbaka...

~~This isn't the end!~~Detta är inte slutet!