Category: AU Fanfiction
Title: Forces of Nature
Author: Jeyla4ever
Characters: John/Teyla, Kanan/Teyla, Chaya/John, Lorne/Teyla
Parings: John and Teyla
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own or have rights to SGA
Size: 3,506 words
File Format: Word document
Comments: Thanks to Azure Horizon aka Gater101 for her AWESOME beta'ing skills. THANK YOU SWEETIE!
Written for the 100 John and Teyla Kissing Challenge in Beya Livejournal.
Summary:Walking swiftly among the thickness of the forest, John knew she was waiting for him. And nothing and no one would stop him from seeing her.
Forces of Nature
It is impermissible for an Atlantian male to speak, and even more so to court an Athosian female let alone sneak up in her tent in the middle of the night. He didn't even want to imagine what would happen to him if he got caught. He would probably be grounded for a month and even lose his rank as leader of the new expedition team or worse - discard the possibility of a future where he'd be working with the distinguished Colonel Sumner, the new Military Commander of Atlantis.
But he didn't care.
Walking swiftly among the thickness of the forest, John knew she was waiting for him. And nothing and no one would stop him from seeing her.
He stalled for a moment crouching low in the low-growth, slowly entering verboten ground on his haunches. It was a move that, as a military man, came naturally to him and he found no discomfiture in the stance as he crept to the small clearing where he knew she would be.
Being the daughter of the leader of the Athosians, Teyla had some privileges that none of the others had, one of which – and by far his favorite – was having her very own and private recluse tent far from the prying eyes of the settlement.
As the future heir and leader of her people, regular meditations and 'soul searching' (as John liked to call it) required absolute privacy. It served to meet its purpose on many occasions but most importantly, it allowed John to lurk into her tent discreetly without interruptions. Which was something he did, more often than he'd ever care to admit.
Slowly, he peered into the clearing, acknowledging the faint light emitting from the tent in front of him. It was like a glowing hub, anchored to the ground by a few strong pegs and John often wondered how it didn't blow away in the wind.
"Good; she's still awake," he whispered good-humouredly.
As he drew closer, he pulled back the flaps of her tent and stepped closer to find the one that he sought out fervently on this cold, dark night and he couldn't help but smile. The young woman stood before a burning candle, brushing through her long brown hair, lowly humming an unrecognized tune.
Teyla Emmagan, daughter of Tagan, leader of the Athosian people; it was a sight that filled John with a rush of pleasure – and had done so for many years.
She was warm, high-spirited, and beautiful in all ways. Guarded by her overly protective father and her proud people, Teyla spent most of her time roaming about the different worlds training and learning the ways of trade with her father, preparing for her journey as leader of her people.
And yet, she did have her moments of freedom. Her father – who was often so caught up in his own responsibilities and social affairs - gave little consideration to her time alone. Unknown to her father, the devious beauty would often wander into forbidden territories. Her inquisitive, curious, and intriguing personality led John to stumble upon her graceful form one day.
It was not uncommon for a young girl to stroll casually through the surrounding planets. Wandering in uncharted land, it was easy for Teyla to blend in with the crowd, unknown to others of her inheritance and bloodline.
For John, it was slightly a bit different since he was well known as the boy from another galaxy who had an advantage unlike any other across galaxies; a strong Ancient gene. The Atlantians lived their lives stratified by the absolute power and they valued greatly John Sheppard's residence in the city for his uncanny, innate and natural ability to power Ancient technology with such ease.
Yet, both John and Teyla didn't care for their inheritance, let alone their genes. They were just your typical average kids seeking knowledge, strength and most of all, long-lasting friendships.
Gate travel, trading and exploring planets through the Stargate was a great opportunity to meet new and interesting people. Survival was their motivation, but fun was the primary intent of young boys and girls crossing through the event horizon. But this became a growing problem among the different planets in the Pegasus Galaxy. There was always a small group of young men and women meeting and even starting relationships that were clearly forbidden by the Planetary Pegasus Council. There was to be no fraternization between races. And the Council made it very clear with its laws and commandments.
Since the awakening of the Wraith, it was imperative that a race retain its authenticity, thus outside mating was for the most part undesirable and even punishable in some cultures. Those that disobeyed found themselves ostracized among their people, destined to roam empty lands for the remainder of their lives. No one would take them in as the awakening of the Wraith had turned planets into secular globes, no longer willing to help their once friends.
Yet, once in a while, young blooded men and women would meet in daring matches, some even deadly, in an attempt to quench their curiosity and challenge the forbidden laws, giving free reign to their deepest desires. And John was slowly beginning to see the pleasure in such heinous activities.
Hence, it was a young, charmingly naive John Sheppard who went on his first puddle jumper joyride through the event horizon and into Athosian territory in an attempt to prove to his best friend Rodney that he wasn't one to follow orders, nor did he fear the spears and arrows of the uncultured, uncivilized, indigenous Athosians.
Slipping and skidding clumsily down into a hole on a turbulent and windy night, John gazed for the first time upon the Athosian heir whom he believed then as he does now, was the most beautiful girl to ever grace the planets across two galaxies - and then some.
Since then, they'd never parted too far, nor for too long from the other.
John has intruded on Athosian land again and again. It was where he and Teyla were constant companions climbing trees, swimming in the river, and running about barefoot on the soft grass underfoot. At first, their friendship was pure and innocent since they were both very young but eventually things began to change between them. No healthy young man could fail to be stirred by Teyla' alluring looks who at the age of eighteen had already been asked in matrimony by one too many affluent heirs; a reality that darkened John's thoughts on many sleepless nights.
Purposefully, he would find himself watching her from a distance and tonight was no exception. He leant against the strong wooden post, arms folded across his chest as his eyes followed her every move.
She was dressed for bed wearing a nightgown made of intricate lace fabric that John knew he would dream about for years to come. As she moved across the room, the lamplight silhouetted the generous curves of her breasts and hips through the thin fabric, a body he had claimed as his own in far too many dreams of late. Her bronze skin gave her the appearance of a godly beauty worthy of worship and John was a willing follower. The shining veil of her long hair draped the length of her tantalizing neck that John had fantasized about endlessly; to kiss that exposed neck following it to the lush of her lips; kissing and kissing her until she was weak, quivering in his arms, chanting his name as he devoured her. But her external features only permeated the radiance of her unchecked emotions, her impeccable soul filled with a hint of a radiant, dark magic.
John swallowed hard. She was perfect.
As he watched her, John reflected that the time was soon upon them when they could no longer be together. The familiarity between them would soon be too dangerous, if it was not already. It was becoming more and more difficult for John not to kiss her, not to try and lure her into her bed. And that thought was almost his undoing. Shaking himself visibly, he pulled himself together and stepped forward drawing himself into the warmth of her welcoming tent.
Teyla turned her head in his direction at the sound of his footsteps and saw him without apparent surprise.
His predatory eyes scrutinized her, admiring her every move and he felt that now familiar stirring in his gut.
Arching her brow, Teyla regarded him closely for a minute and then turned from him resuming to brushing her hair. John was sure he saw her pouting.
John was both amused and consternated as he wondered what the hell he had done now. To his knowledge he hadn't been involved in any pranks or mischief making, and he hadn't picked any arguments with her, that he could recall anyways. And as a reward, he had been left waiting for her by the shore for two hours that afternoon.
Shaking his head stubbornly, John remained where he was. He reached down for her bantos sticks twirling them around with increasing speed, as his annoyance grew deeper within him. He swung loosely, mimicking the moves that she'd tried to teach him for years. He would never admit that he purposely got the moves wrong just to see that frown on her face.
He paused his movements, his ears tuning into the sounds outside, listening for any hint of another person. They both knew that if he was discovered, his life was in danger. He was the intruder, not her. For as much as they knew the likelihood of being caught was slim, it was still a high risk for them to be spending this time together. They both know what their time alone means to each other. And it was for this reason that she turned once again, acknowledging his presence.
He couldn't help the grin on his face; he enjoyed when he got her to conform to his whim, as usually it was he bending to hers.
"Did you forget your surfing lessons this afternoon?" He asked almost candidly as he neared her without regard for her personal space, dropping the bantos sticks on the floor as he smiled into her dark brown eyes. Even though he slouched, Teyla was forced to crane her neck upward to meet his gaze.
"No, I did not forget." Her voice, usually so passive and wise, was edged with an ice that John did not recognize.
"Then where were you?"
"It matters not."
John tilted his head as he briefly pondered why girls liked to put guys through a guessing game when he was in trouble. He was not good at these types of conversations.
Arriving at no reasonable answer, he chose to indulge in the moment.
"I thought you wanted to kick my surfing ass," he replied instead, smiling around the words.
"I need not prove my skills to you, John Sheppard."
He tried to conceal his frown as the knowledge that he did something really bad sank in. Something really bad that he had no clue about.
"Really? Cause you seem pretty sure…."
"You seem to prefer someone else's company to mine."
He raised his eyebrows at that, his lips pursing slightly at the accusation. He had no idea what she was talking about.
Seeing the confusion in his expression, Teyla twisted her mouth impatiently and he reciprocated with a half smirk.
"You were in the village this morning." Cautiously, John nodded. He recalled how Rodney insisted he come with him to the village in order to buy some herbs for his newest sun block crème that he was working on.
Breathing in slightly, she added. "As was I."
John didn't say anything as he waited for her to continue.
"I saw you by the Puddle Jumper." Blatantly, her eyes narrowed maniacally.
Clarity struck John with the kind of humor he had not expected but he kept it quelled and raised an eyebrow in mock confusion.
Teyla continued, "With Chaya Sar." He made an'O' with his lips as he showed her that clarity had struck.
"You kissed her," her eyes glowed angrily.
"So I did." He voiced, flatly.
Flirting was not part of his personality usually; instead, women flirted with him. And Chaya was doing so much more than your everyday average flirting.
It started off with an act of hospitality and curiosity, but it soon led to laughing, playing, teasing, and ultimately groping, touching, and ardently kissing. It had meant nothing to him or to Chaya, and he had promptly put the whole incident out of his mind.
Then something else struck him. Something much more interesting.
Teyla was jealous. She was jealous that he had kissed someone.
John tried to hide the pleasure of his discovery, but it gathered in an area that had the potential to cause serious problems in insurmountable ways. He shook his head ruefully, and wondered how to remind her that in reality, she shouldn't care one bit about his whereabouts and even less give a damn about what he did.
"Teyla," he half protested, the word escaping his lips on a sigh. "What I do with other girls has nothing to do with us. It shouldn't. You and I are friends. We would never…you're not the kind I…well…she was…I mean…Teyla, there's no need for me to explain this to you!"
As soon as the words were out, he regretted them. He could have sworn he saw hurt in her eyes. She met his eyes in a way that she had never done before; they were filled with such intensity the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.
He made to touch her but his hand stopped mid movement as an intense vulnerability struck him. He knew the danger of even the slightest of touch and he snatched back his hands, lifting them up to brush his unruly hair.
"What if I was Ancient like Chaya?" she asked, "Would you regard me in the same manner?"
It wasn't the first time that Teyla left him tongued-tied but it was the first time that he had found himself wanting to seduce her simply to show her just how much he really wanted her.
But he couldn't. He knew this.
And yet, there was infinite danger in answering with either yes or no to her question. And so he searched for some half-truth that would satisfy her.
"Teyla, you know that I don't think of you that way…" He lied; nodding his head encouragingly trying not to let her see the pain the words had caused him.
"Well, other boys do." He felt the punch right in his gut as she continued to plunge him for the kill. His gut twisted in on itself, forming an almost painful low in his stomach. "Just last night Kanan cornered me by the ironstone wall at the bluff and he tried to kiss me."
"He did what?" John almost yelled in instant fury, recalling the Athosian pretty boy who had made no effort to conceal his fascination for Teyla. "I'm gonna bust that son of a bitch! Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, more wounded than he cared to admit.
"He is not the only one who has tried," Teyla retorted, deliberately adding fuel to the flame of his anger. "Not long ago Evan Lorne dared me to play a kissing game with him-" She broke off with a slight gasp as John reached out and seized her upper arms, slightly drawing her closer to him.
"Lorne can go to hell for all I care. And I'll help him get there!" he said roughly and Teyla had never seen such fury in his eyes. "Anyone else?" He asked dangerously.
Then he realized how close she was to him. He knew it was a mistake to touch her. The feel of her arms, so warm and tender beneath his fingers, stirred every part of his anatomy. Yet he couldn't control himself any longer. He needed to touch more of her, needed to lean in closer, needed to brush his fingers across her face, her earthly scent, the intimate waft of her breath.
It was too much.
Every part of him screamed to hold her near him. To set his mouth on the velvety curve of her perfectly sculpted neck that had haunted his dreams for years. Brusquely, he forced himself to release her and took a few steps away from her.
He couldn't breathe, move or think clearly; wouldn't allow himself to look at her because he knew that when he did everything would change.
"I have not allowed anyone to kiss me," Teyla said astutely. "I am waiting for the one I love to claim me as his and his only," a rueful note entered her voice and John could almost imagine the self-depreciating curve of her lip.
This was too much for him to bear and he looked up at her, allowing her to see the naked uselessness he felt inside. Her eyes burned right through him, urging him to let go of the fears they both harbored. He wanted to posses her in every way, so ardently that it throbbed in his chest. He could feel his body migrating closer to hers again; feel his heart reaching out to her in a way that he knew wasn't right.
He was about to reach for her when he stopped.
He couldn't do this. It would change everything. Her people would ostracize her and he would be sent back to Earth far away and out of her reach forever. He couldn't let that happen.
He lowered his eyes and looked away closing his eyes against the pain that was welling up inside of him.
Things would never be the same between them. Not now, not after this. He'd stop coming to Athos, stop lingering in her tent, stop being there with her. It was unfair but he knew it had to be that way.
He froze as Teyla reached up and touched his cheek with the tip of her fingers. Her hand was more familiar to him than his own. He knew every crease, every scar, and every line that graced her fine features. Too many times it had been her hand that had mended his injuries when he'd fled the infirmary and burst open the wounds only recently sewn shut by nurses and doctors; they never had the same touch as Teyla. It had been her hands that had held his on the night that his mother died, that had cradled his head when the tears refused to fall.
And now as those same hands caressed his face and his eyes automatically slid shut, the temptation to turn his mouth into her soft palm was excruciating. The sensuality of her touch was torturous for the heightened senses of his body and he wanted to taste her.
But he didn't.
Instead, he settled on the softness of her touch as her fingers gently stroked down till they reached his jaw. Lovingly, tenderly, sensually she brushed his lips with the tips of her fingers and his lips automatically parted, the air leaving his body in a rush.
"I do not fear the outcome of this moment," Teyla admitted quietly as her face flushed and her eyes darkened. "I know your thoughts just as you know mine and with everything that I feel for you, everything that I am…what I longed for, a moment, just a small act of your…" she struggled to find the words, her voice faltering as she drew closer to him.
"Teyla." He reached for her hand and held it in his. "I can't…we can't," he said gruffly, wishing the words weren't true.
"Are you certain?" she asked, frustration evident in her voice and she roughly drew her hand from his. "Do you question my loyalty? Is my bloodline not enough for that of an Ancient prodigal son?" She bit her lip and looked away; the unpleasant truths lurked behind unshed tears she tried to conceal.
He hated that he'd done that to her.
"Come on Teyla, that's not fair. You know I don't care about that!" His voice was like thunder in the small tent and Teyla looked back to him. "I would die before I hurt you, Teyla." He said grimly, wanting so desperately to hold her in his arms but he could not allow himself to touch her, not again. He didn't think his self-control would survive it. "If I let myself…If I allow…. don't you see, I wouldn't be able to stop. There would be no going back for me. Not ever!"
"You do not know--" She began to argue.
"Yes I do," he interrupted angrily.
They stared at each other in silence, the emptiness around them deepening. He kept his stance fully knowing that if Teyla detected even the slightest hesitation, she'd pounced on him, mercilessly and he would be both unwilling and unable to stop her.
He loved her too much to let her lose so much. Her people meant everything to her. And she meant everything to him.
Finally, Teyla breathed in deeply, letting go of her frustration.
"Forgive me, John," she whispered, the sound only just managing to reach his ears. He sighed slightly, exhaling slowly and bit his lip. Her stance straightened, her tone flattened with resignation. "Shall we attempt to meet again for surfing lessons tomorrow morning?" She asked, a dash of sparkle creeping in her eyes and John was momentarily stunned.
He had not recuperated as quickly as she had. It pained him to have denied her that which he himself wanted, desired – yearned for more than anything else in his life. It took him a few moments longer to gather his thoughts and calm his body back to neutral. She'd lit a fire in him and it took almost too much effort to quell the flames.
"Guess so," he said flatly, attempting to smile. If this was all he could have of her, he wasn't going to lose it now. God knew this was better than to have no part in her life at all.
A smile tugged Teyla's lips as she stared at him forlornly.
"I suggest you go before father realizes that I have not appeared in our nightly prayers."
He started to head out when suddenly she held him back with the slightest of touch on his forearm and he turned back to her, confusion marring his brow.
"John," a sense of urgency lingered in the tone of her voice and he felt apprehension rise within him.
"What is it?" He asked nervously.
"Bend down." A slight smile graced her beautiful features and a drunken John couldn't help but relent to her whim.
"You cannot walk around as if you had just fought a legion of Wraiths." He nodded in understanding and smiled at her thankfully. "Let me fix your tussled hair. It does have a mind of its own."
Had he not been so distracted, he would have pointed out that there was no need for her to neaten his appearance. He was going to his room and it was so late at night that there wouldn't be anyone awake in the city or its surroundings at this time. And those that were up wouldn't give a damn about his hair, either. But he was so distracted and he bent automatically, not quite fully aware that he would do just about anything she asked.
Indulging Teyla's every wish was simply an inexplicable instinct that he never wanted to grow out of.
But instead of feeling her smooth fingers on his unruly black hair, he saw her stand on her toes and, before he could ask, her fingers slid behind the back of his neck, and her mouth was on his lips.
Lightning struck, electrifying every single cell in his body, connecting him to her. He was immobilized from the shock of pleasure. He made an agitated sound in his throat and soon the feeling was returning to his body, starting with his lips.
Damn her lips, so lush and delicate, searching his with determination that he returned in ardor.
He knew that she had done this knowing that he would never make the first move. It had been his saving grace. He had hid behind the knowledge that she wouldn't make the first move – "The ways of my people are different," she had once confessed. He'd thought he would be able to keep his distance, so long as she didn't make the first move.
Now… well…now, he mentally waved goodbye to his restraint as it slid right out of his body.
No force in two galaxies could draw him away from her and he groaned in resignation as she took over his body. His hands grasped either side of her face at her unspoken command and he drew her to him fully, pressing himself against the length of her tiny body.
And as he slid one hand down her body and around her waist, he realized just how deeply he loved her.
John loved Teyla.
Fighting for breath and more of her, he kissed her over and over, intoxicated by the softness of her lips. She responded eagerly, her fingers trailing the strands of his hair. The joy of holding her was too great… He couldn't stop himself from deepening the kiss. Her lips parted slightly, enough for him to explore the edges of her lips, the silk of her mouth. He felt her tense as he urged his tongue upon her mouth and he moved back slowly, knowing that he was moving too fast, too roughly. Soon he felt her relax in his arms and he used his hands to gently coax her into submission against him and he sank his tongue deeply inside her. He heard her gasp as she clutched his shoulders tightly, responding with a sheer excitement. It surprised him just how much he reveled at the sensuality of this unselfish act.
She was giving herself to him so completely.
And it devastated him.
For so long, he had wanted to live this moment, for he loved everything about her. His every waking moment was to make her happy. He had known desire before, he was by no means a player but he was certainly experienced. And yet, he had never felt this agonizing need to hear her scream his name, to have her shout in pleasure.
He couldn't understand his need to bring her to her climatic moment while at the same time quenching his own hunger hidden in the back of his mind since the day he first laid eyes on her. The realization that he could never surrender to his need for her was simply too painful.
Yet, in this moment unlike any other, John Sheppard damned his name repeatedly for doubting, denying himself of this perfect expression of ultimate love. Oblivious to the fact that all this time she had needed him just as much as he had needed her. It almost infuriated him with a passion that begged to storm out of him in the only way he knew how, loving her unquestionably.
Tearing his mouth from hers, John buried his face in the shining midnight veil of her hair. Letting his fingers touch the outward tips of her dark brows, he drew his thumbs over her warm golden cheeks. And he found himself unable to disguise the reverence of his touch.
Leaving her was simply not an option anymore. The inevitable pain that it would cause him to never see her again would destroy him completely.
Almost two decades of emptiness, now he stood in front of the one that formed all his thoughts and dreams into more than simply a reality; she completed him, made him whole. She is all he'd ever want and all he'll ever need. That will never change.
She's his destiny.
Hugging her close, a surge of protectiveness overwhelmed him, and he breathed harshly aware of the challenges they would face. The pain it would bring them both to go against their people.
Darkness shrouded his sight.
"I love you, John Sheppard." Teyla spoke softly beneath his arms, the words vibrating in his chest, all the way to his heart.
Gathering her face in his arms possessively, passionately he kissed her once again. Pulling back, he gazed upon her face, the undoubted truth behind his eyes. His hands tightened around her waist, wanting to never release her hold.
Yes, she had him trapped in her spell since the very first day they met. And he'd be damned if he wanted her to ever let him go.
Gently, he gripped the back of her head and his mouth covered hers, tenderly.
He was drowning, helplessly surrendering to her love; a force that acts in the direction of its origin. And for John, Teyla was the origin and the force of nature that he could never be without.
Fin
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