Summary: (AU, Modern times) One-shot, songfic. Kohaku mulls over his life is suddenly so empty and he doesn't know why.
Rating: PG-13 for implied character death, and profanity
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Nor do I own Something's Missing, by John Mayer.
Author's Note: Dedicated to Roy (darkrealmist) for his birthday.
--
I wish I was
Cause then I'd know I was down because
I couldn't find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now
Kohaku stared blankly out of the dark window of the high-end restaurant. Around him was laughter and happiness, and brightness and cheer, but he couldn't participate. A few muttered words in the name of being conversational were all he had spoken all night. His sister and her friends had coaxed him into joining them at the party they were throwing for Rin, his would-be girlfriend, before she went off to America for two weeks.
He excused himself early, merely with apologies that he wasn't feeling well and wouldn't want to put a damper on the party. As was expected, the friends argued for him to stay, but were eventually persuaded that he shouldn't stay if he wasn't feeling well. A jovial goodbye was called out as he left the café to head for home.
He wasn't feeling well, it was true. But not the way he had brought the others to believe. He felt empty, like his soul was taking a vacation and he was left a hollow husk of a man. Maybe it was caused by his complete abandonment of his other friends. Not willingly, of course.
Some time ago, he'd had a group of friends most would consider 'the wrong crowd'. Kohaku smirked at the idea. They were just unpopular among 'the right crowd', and spent their free time leaving spoons on train tracks. There had been Naraku, the only one who could have really been considered bad, Kanna and Kagura, a pair of sisters who followed him around, although Kagura did it begrudgingly, and Hakudoushi, their younger brother. They had all long outgrown high school, like him, but the entire world hadn't outgrown the high-school type stereotypes.
I searched for joy but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pain
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to
Ever satiate
He tightened his jacket around him as a chill wind nipped at his body through the thin fabric. It was a stark reminder that the summer was quickly slipping away. Not that any of it mattered. Except for today, his summer had been nothing but work anyways. A drop of water hit his nose, and then another. What else could bring him down today?
The short walk from the café brought him to his car, he pulled away, but found himself at a red light shortly. He watched the pedestrians scurry across the street in his headlights, happy couples running for the shelter of nearby clubs and bars. That should have been him. The light went green and he continued home.
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
The long drive home brought him to thinking. Why was he so out of it? He normally had a pretty gloomy outlook, it was just who he was, but this wasn't gloomy. He could almost call this feeling a depression of sorts. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he nearly missed his turn.
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
He yelled at the interior of his car after negotiating the turn, much to the dismay of other motorists. He ignored the honks and fervent yells of the other drivers as they faded away and he was left with his calm, quiet neighborhood.
It doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around
Your summer heart
His boots had been kicked off in the doorway, his keys carelessly tossed onto the kitchen counter as he passed it by. Knowing himself well, he counted this rut as a bout of stupidity. A long hot shower and a good night's rest would cure him. But most of him wasn't too sure. He tried to shrug it off, rinsing out his long hair, which he usually kept up, and longed for any distraction.
The phone rang. Once, twice, three times, four times and then nothing. The high-pitched bleep of the answering machine brought him to the conclusion that they were leaving a message, though he couldn't make out who it was over the sound of the water. Some time later, a bit more relaxed version of Kohaku exited the bathroom, steam pouring out as he opened the door.
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
Prodding the answer button on the machine, the automated voice came on 'You have two new messages'. He frowned slightly. Shrugging, he listened as the first came on. He must have gotten it while he was out. Rin's voice came on to the speaker, practically yelling over the din of what he assumed was still the restaurant.
"Hey Kohaku. I just heard what happened from Sesshoumaru… I'm sorry. If I had known, I wouldn't have even wanted you to come out tonight. I know you two were really good friends. Anyway, if you need someone to talk to, I'll be here until Tuesday, and I hope you'll be able to see me off then. Well bye!"
She spoke solemnly, and the beep signaled the end of her message. What in the word was she talking about? He had a sinking feeling the next message would tell him, and it wouldn't be good.
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test
For loneliness, for loneliness like this
"Kohaku… Shit this isn't good, man," Kagura's voice came on, and it sounded like she was crying. "Earlier… earlier today… Ah fuck it, Kohaku, Hakudoushi was shot. He's dead. Out in broad fucking daylight, and they don't know who did it. I'll call again. Bye."
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Something's different
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is