They call me DJ Mercury. I'm Commander Mercury's kid. I'm 5'7" and I weight 120, plus I'm 23 years old. Plus I got the sexiest girl in town, Marissa Amess.

Enough of that, I gotta go. DJ shit and all that, and tonight, its for Club Valent1ne, Sinnoh's underground pokephilia club. Every time, its an orgy consisting of over 9000 pokemon and humans.

Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy,
Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy.

I'm in the mood, the rhythm is right,
Move to the music, we can roll all night.
Oooh, oooh, slow ride - oooh, oooh ...

Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy
Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine

Woo

I'm in the mood, the rhythm is right,
Move to the music yea, we can roll all night, yea.
Oooh, oooh ...

Slow ride, take it easy - Slow ride, take it easy
Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine

(Slow ride, easy, slow ride, sleazy - Slow ride, easy, slow ride, sleazy)

Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine

(Slow ride, take it easy - slow ride, take it easy)
(Slow down, go down - Slow down, go down)

Oh come on baby, take a slow ride with me,
Come on baby, take a slow ride.
Oh feels good, mmmm, feels so good, I like it yea,
I feel good, oh I feel alright!

Slow Ride frm Foghorn blared out of 6' tall speakers as I spun my turntables like a pro. I instantly switched to another song.

Which turned out to be Bass Down Low by Dev.

It's like one, two, three, fuck it
I'm bout to take this drink and just stuff it
Chinchou tank this thing along with four more shots
of Patron I give a fuck about going home
Straight buzzin Robotussin
Wanna get ya mitts in my oven
Wanna get a lick of this lovin
G-g-g-get a lick of this lovin
Yeah, I like it loud
And I'll make you shout

Just as I was changin' songs I felt hands wrap around me. I turn around and face Marissa and next thing you know, your friendly neighborhood DJ just got laid.

While me and Marissa fucked one of my hands changed the song to to Top of the World by the Cataracs

Yo, it's that dancefloor – 808
She hit me like a 808
Have you all night, vodka straight
Bottles up, you and me
Me and you, on a trip
All night flight, girl let's dip
Lickitung my lips I'm in the zone
And I can't really say what I'm sippin' on

You taste good to me
Girls like you make history
Sure does sound like a hit to me
Now che-e-e-ck out this beat

Soon my shift was over, and I went into the lounge with a very horny Marissa. I crashed on the couch, Marissa immediately straddling me. Apparently a quickie on the stage wasn't enough. Wasting no time on foreplay she ripped off my pants and almost (just barely) raped me. She pounded me rough and fast, and though I was enjoying it, my foresight told me that tommorow I would not be enjoying it so much.

...WHO THE FUCK CARES? That was my last conscious thought and I blacked out.

When I woke up,one hour later, I went onto the dance floor to see the DJ who took my place. But before I even saw the main floor, I knew who it was; DJ Rave, Marissa's sister and one of the only DJs I knew who could make a room of sex into an organized social. By making dizzying strings of fast beat 4-1 time rave music, she would turn even the craziest, horniest, Gardevoir-fucking pokephile into a effing breakdancer.

Next thing I knew, a female Charizard smashed into me and laid me pretty much like what Marissa did.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS JOB.