Freedom - or why is the universe so screwed up -

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC. I own nothing.

We all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella, the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales, the stuff of dreams. The problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories, the ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. It's the nightmares that always seem to become reality. - The person that invented the phrase "Happily ever after" should have his ass kicked, so hard! Meredith Grey; Dream a Little Dream of Me (1)

Meredith was standing in a candle-lit outline of a house. "Stupid, corny, idiotic, I cannot believe I did this. Stupid, loser, son of a ... I could be at home instead of ... stupid brain man..." Meredith couldn´t believe that she was doing that. But she was ready to take a step Forwards with her life with Derek...

Derek entered the plateau, on the ground was his trailer. He saw Meredith from afar. He held the said bottle of champagne in hand, surrounded by a mass of burning candles that flickered in the wind. It's dark, the sky saw the stars. Derek tore himself from his rigidity and walked slowly to Meredith who was waiting for him impatiently.

"Where have you been?! I've been waiting and waiting for you! And I did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing. And I was just gonna tell you that, this over here is our kitchen and this is our living room, and over there that's the room where our kids could play. I had this whole thing about I was gonna build us a house, but I don't build houses because I'm a surgeon! And now I'm here feeling like a lame ass loser. I got all whole and healed and you don't show up. And now it's all ruined because you took so long to come home! And I couldn't even find that bottle of champagne." She rambled, obviously nervous.

Derek couldn´t help but smile when he listened to her sweet rambling. God, he missed it...

"I've been waiting forever you and I built this degrading, childish thingy." She pointed to the spreading burning candles, which provoked a magical atmosphere.

"Meredith..." He began.

"That's- Wow." Exclaimed Derek. "This is not wow, this is incredibly demeaning and embarrassment, and, and ..." Meredith stopped. "Damn." She cried. "This is the kitchen." "And that?" Derek asked with a smile and walked toward it.

"This is our living room with a view of this gigantic whatever this is. And there is the room where our children will play." "Our children?" Derek asked, while stepping over the candles to go to Meredith. Meredith fell to a no words. "And where is our bedroom?" Meredith looked at him and said, flashing a laugh. "I do not have one built because ... I'm still mad at you, so you know." Derek smiled warmly and walked over to Meredith. "I understand that. By the way, I have the bottle of champagne if we want to celebrate."

Meredith looked at him in surprise: "Where did you get it? I looked everywhere but did not found it. Where was it?" "Oh, that's a long story." Derek distracted her. The light wind noise gently stroked Meredith' hair and let it fly through the air.

Derek came closer to Meredith and finally he kissed her just so that you stayed away almost the air

When Derek broke the kiss, she asked überrscht: "What about Rose You're with Rose." Derek looked briefly: "Oh, Rose, I do not love her." "Really?" On Meredith' face a beam spread when she realized the meaning of the sentence. Derek did not like Rose, he loved Meredith. He loved her. An irrepressible feeling of joy shot through Meredith within seconds. "I have to go." Derek said quietly as she had kissed to an end. "Why?" Meredith asked. "I want to do more with you, but that's only when I'm with rose before closing."

Derek explained quickly and kissed Meredith again. These kissed once, but Derek broke away gently from her. "I have to do with Rose conclusion wait here for me. Okay, I'm coming as fast as I can go back."

"Okay." Meredith agreed with him immediately and kissed him again. Derek smiled his McDreamy- smile and gently pulled away from her. Derek ran to his car and quickly made his way back into Seattle Grace Hospital. He wanted to get back to Meredith, he was glad that they were finally together again. And Rose? Rose was past, and Derek was clear, because he just wanted Meredith ...

Meredith looked Derek behind dreamily as he left the plateau. She was reunited with McDreamy. At last they were together again. Meredith was still holding the bottle of champagne in hand, she and Derek really wanted to drink if they have had success with their clinical trial about treating gliomas. And the last patient, Beth Monroe, had survived and the tumor had shrunk. Before her, all patients had died during or after surgery. She was the one made their trial a success because she survived.

Meredith looked around the lights flickered, casting shadows on it you thought of Derek as he had kissed her and could not wait until he was back with her Derek went now to Seattle Grace Hospital... It took me a little, because his huge plot was further out and it took him until he came to Seattle Grace. He was about to turn when a bus crashed into a telephone pole in front of him. It all happened too fast. Far too quick to react.

When Derek thought of Meredith as they got to know each other and how they were kissing ... In the next few seconds Derek would crash into this bus... Derek tried to swerve, but it did not work. It was hopeless, he couldn´t do anything about it.

The bus came closer and closer. Derek tried to realize what was in progress here, but that did not work. Then there was a loud bang and a cry in agony escaped Derek in the same minute. Derek was thrown against the steering wheel and back again by the impact. Now he was jammed between the driver´s seat and the dashboard, feeling pressure building on his chest.

He tried to move, but it wasn´t a good idea. He felt a strong pain shooting through him, besides, he felt warm blood running across his forehead. He let out a gasping breath und tries to stay awake, but in the next second, Derek lost consciousness almost immediately.

Some passers-by who witnessed the accident, immediately alerted emergency services. When they arrived with several ambulances, offered them a picture of horrors: A bus is slammed against a telephone pole and a car Driver, who wasn´t able to brake.

Derek was lying face down on the steering wheel, blood-smeared face. One of the rescuers was finally noticed him and called out to his colleagues. "Here have here another seriously injured"

Ready for another two Paramedics and a doctor came running. "Okay. We need to get him out of the wreck, otherwise he dies." Stated the ambulance. Some firefighters were also alerted Derek liberated from the totally destroyed wreck. When they were finished, the ambulance and the paramedics immediately began to stabilize Derek far as to take him to Seattle Grace Hospital. When they stabilized him, they made him ready for transport. It discovered one of the paramedics that he seemed familiar somehow the victim.

After a while it occurred to him: That was Dr. Derek Shepherd, neurosurgeon at Seattle Grace. Immediately called his colleagues to what he found: "The victim is a neurosurgeon at Seattle Grace." "Okay." Said his colleague. "Then we want to warn his colleagues." He reached for the radio, while the ambulance was racing already under sirens towards Seattle Grace Hospital.

"This rescue unit 21. We come up with a colleague from you in ten minutes. Status is critical, probably internal bleeding." There was a click and the line went dead.

Dr. Webber and Dr. Bailey reached the message, just as they entered the emergency department. When they heard it, they were hoping that it was not true and that it had to be some kind of mistake.

But when the ambulance with screeching brakes stopped in front of the emergency room and the emergency physician, who had sat back in the car, jumped out and pulled the stretcher using a medic with casualty. Dr. Bailey immediately threw a look at the victim and realized at the same moment it was Derek Shepherd. Startled, she cried. "Dr. Bailey, you okay?"

"It's Dr. Shepherd, Meredith and Cristina anyone on the pager must beep anymore., You should come here immediately." was Dr. Bailey shocked response. "Presumably, internal injuries, already intubated, had to be cut out of the wreck at the scene." The paramedic said.

"Clear a trauma bay. Coming through." she called out as she pushes the gurney. In a Trauma room they immediately tried to assess his injuries and tried stabilze him.

"What happened?" Meredith cried from afar, as she ran through the emergency room. She had received the pager call from her friend and Dr. Webber that they should immediately come to Seattle Grace Hospital. She ran to Dr. Webber and Cristina Yang, who waited with worried expression on the doorstep of a shock to her room ...

That did not look good, that Meredith knew immediately something was going on with Derek, that was clear. And when she looked at Dr. Webber and Cristina, she noticed immediately on the serious face of the two that you confirmed what she had believed to know anyway.

"What has happened? That is Derek, is not it?" She asked, as the two before. Cristina held her tightly, as if to a charge on the said emergency room to prevent it disturbed the other doctors who just fought for the life of the neurosurgeon.

"Yes, it is Derek."

"How bad is it?" Meredith wanted to know that it still could not believe that her fairy tale converted into a nightmare "be Meredith, you now have quite strong." Dr. Webber and Cristina said simultaneously. Meredith seemed to have not heard her words, she broke away and rushed to the emergency room and looked through the window.

Instantly came tears to her eyes. On the monitor, a flatline could be seen.

"No. No. No."

Meredith was shocked with something they had not expected.

Derek was all bloody.

He flatlines ...

A shrill cruel cardiac arrest signaling sound appeared on the monitor. Dr. Bailey and Dr. Sloan tried desperately to bring his heart back to beating. But at some point gave up on Dr. Bailey.

"Time of death 3:45."

Dr. Sloan separated the tube from the ambu bag and lowered his face. Meredith watched the whole thing in trance, but when Dr. Bailey called it, everything broke in her. She was devastated, she would never see his McDreamy- smile again, never again she will be with him or have lots of children with perfect hair and they would never get their happy ending... It wasn´t fair.

She screamed: "No, No, No, Derek. No. No. Deeereeek-"

It feels like the end

Cristina tried to pull her away, but Meredith did not want to. She entered the Trauma room to see Derek laying there, bleeding... Dead. As in she´ll never be with him again. These thoughts were unbearable, Meredith grabbed his Hand, it was freezing, but she knew that it was not over yet... Meredith said angrily:" You Coward, McDreamy. You will not let me now in the lurch. I have not left you, so you can not leave me now ... We need our happily ever after..."

Meredith experienced a nightmare that could not be worse. Next was a knee-jerk reaction: She hit Derek with full force to the chest. She glanced at the Monitor, for some seconds it was just like before. Flatline, but then...

When she saw on the Monitor that it picked up a brady sinus rhythm, she could hardly believe it. Derek was alive. Dr. Webber, Dr. Sloan and Dr. Bailey came back in the emergency room and took care of Derek Shepherd. "Wow." Bailey mouthed and they rushed to surgery after taking some scans.

Meredith was now sitting fallen together on the floor and stared at the wall, even though Cristina was pretty sure that she didn´t see the wall.

Why was all of this happening? They were supposed to get their happily ever after.

Cristina slid down the wall next to Meredith. "Mer." She said. Meredith looked up. There were tears in her eyes. "He´ll make it through this. If he dies and leaves you, I´ll bring him back to life and kill him again. So he has make it." She tried comfort Mer. "I just found him, Cristina. Now, what if I lose him? I don´t want to live without him. He´s everything..." She was on the verge of crying.

Silently, Cristina hugged her friend tightly.

Then they waited. For hours they just sat there and waited for any news from the OR.

But even waiting has an end. After a few hours Dr. Bailey and Dr. Webber finished life-saving surgery on Derek. "How did it go? Is he stable..." Meredith was worried about Derek, hoping desperately that he would be okay, that he would make it... Dr. Bailey sighed. Oh, no. This wasn´t good. Is he... Is he dead. No, no, no, no, no... This is a nightmare...

She couldn´t breathe, it felt like her chest would explode. Suddenly Meredith felt like she was falling. She heard Bailey and Cristina screaming her Name, but it seemed so far away and she just couldn´t take it anymore.

Then, blackness surrounded her...

Cristina saw her friend´s struggle to breathe. "Meredith?" She asked worriedly. Meredith didn´t seem to heard her. "Are you ok..." She couldn´t even finish her sentence before Meredith was falling. Instantly she screamed her name. "Get a gurney in here." Dr. Bailey called. "Is she okay?" Cristina was not able to think straight. Her Person was laying there on the ground and Derek, her person´s love of her life, was in surgery or worse, wait, she didn´t know what his condition is.

"Let´s move, People." Dr. Miranda Bailey ordered. "Come on, Grey. Don´t do this now." Of course Meredith couldn´t hear her in the state she was in. "Let´s get her hooked up to an IV and fluids. I am sure she is dehydrated. Yang, did she..."

"I..." Yang stuttered. "Damn, I should have thought about that. God, I am a doctor. A freaking doctor and didn´t thought about that?"

They got her hooked up on an IV and fluids.

After awhile, Meredith slowly regained consciousness. "What happened?" She asked. She noticed that she has an IV access on her hand. Cristina flinched at her words. "Grey. You are awake." Dr. Bailey saved her from explaining. "Can you remember what happened?" Meredith thought.

Then her face expression changed.

"Derek." Sheer terror plastered on her face. "The accident... God... no..." "Meredith." She spoke her former intern´s name. Meredith stopped and looked at her. "Just tell me. Is he..." "He survived, Meredith. He´s suffered extensive injures to spleen and liver and one of his kidneys were damaged, but we were able to stop the hemorrhage. He´s suffered tension pneumothorax ´cause he has broken ribs and one of them punctured his lung during surgery, so we had to page Erica Hahn. He is in recovery and as soon as his anaesthesia wears off, he´ll be moved to ICU. He´s currently stable." Meredith breathed a sign of relief.

"When can I go see him?" She asked. "You are free to go, but please, Grey, take care of yourself and make sure you eat and drink. Otherwise you´ll end up in a hospital bed." Bailey advised her. "You may not be my interns anymore, but I still care about you." Meredith nodded, she wanted to see Derek.

When she entered his ICU room, she swallowed hard. Derek was laying in this bed, hooked up onto a Million things like catheters, a central line... She forced herself to look at him. He was pale, she suspected it was because of the extensive blood loss. Then there were alll these medical devices he was hooked onto. The heart monitor was beeping rythmically and his sats were stable.

She reached for his hand and squeezed it slightly.

"Derek. Come on, wake up. I am waiting for you." Meredith begged him to open his blue eyes. But nothing happened. Everything stayed the same as it is. She laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His thorax rises and falls with each breath, though he was still intubated and the Ventilator helped him breathe´since he couldn´t do it on his own.

Meredith spent four whole days on his bedside, she´s refusing to leave the room,. If she leaves, only to eat something. But then, when she sleeping, she felt a light touch on her hand. She jolted awake, looking at Derek´s face. And really, he opened his eyes. Meredith could not believe it, she thought she was dreaming.

But she wasn´t. This was real. Derek is awake and responsive.

"Derek?" She asked quietly. When he recognized her voice, he searched with his eyes for her and tried to speak. Then he noticed the ET- tube in his mouth and immediately began fighting it. "Derek. Calm down. Everything´s going to be okay. I´ll page Bailey, she will be here in a minute." "Grey, you paged?" "He is awake." She said grinning. "Can we take him off the ventilator?"

After a quick exam, Dr. Bailey extubated him. He coughed as she removed the tube. "Dr. Shepherd. Nice to have you back." She said. After checking his vitals again, she left the room to give them their privacy.

"Meredith?" He asked, his voice hoarse. "I am here." She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Don´t ever do that again, Derek Shepherd. I thought I lost you forever."

"I love you." He just replied.

Meredith smiled and squeezed Derek´s hand. "Give me a real kiss." He demanded playfully. Meredith leaned over him and kissed him softly on the mouth. "Me too. I love you."

...

Once upon a time, happier ever after. The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams. Fairy tales don't come true. Reality is much stormier. Much murkier. Much scarier. Reality it's so much more interesting than living happily ever after. Dream a Little Dream of Me (2)