Sleep was the last thing on Natalya Arlovskaya's mind.
… Yeah, right. Because nobody thinks about sleep when they're rolling around in bed at 4 in the morning while attempting to sleep. Her mind was restless but exhausted. Her eyes were sick of looking at the same bedroom "scenery" but it didn't feel any better to close them. Natalya noted that after lying down aimlessly for quite a long time, time intervals become irregular as if time slowed down to mock her or something. She also noted that after a certain point at night time, nothing makes sense and the mind goes into a state of remembering certain regretful events. Alfred F. Jones could be a lovely example.
What did the F in Alfred F. Jones even stand for? Natalya knew Alfred for a long time but never bothered to ask what his middle name stood. Did it stand for Franklin or Foster or maybe even Fuck? Maybe it was a shorter amount of time than she thought, or maybe she only liked Alfred for his company and not his actual person. Natalya bitterly shoved her memory into her soft pillow. Actually, she just shoved her entire face into her pillow with a frustrated sigh. She had been trying to forget about Alfred, but it wasn't going to be easy. Even though Alfred was the one that broke off the relationship, Natalya knew that they wouldn't have lasted long anyway and tried to stop herself from stabbing Alfred when he called her "clingy". She wasn't even trying to be clingy; she just wanted to show him the attention she lacked to receive. Natalya tried to forgive Alfred because he probably did it for her own good. Besides, he's the type of person that is unable read the atmosphere around him so maybe he didn't actually mean to hurt her.
Natalya remembered how she met Alfred. It was her first year of university and she was a political science major. Maybe that could work as an excuse for her constantly overanalyzing things. Finals were coming up but Natalya wasn't used to the stress that seemed to be piling up exponentially. She needed more time to review all her materials and the café on her university campus seemed like a nice, calm place to study. If she got tired, she could just rely on the caffeine in her Americano to stay awake. Besides, the few friends Natalya had also studied there. She enjoyed the peace and quiet in the small café. The employees there were extremely kind and the whole atmosphere felt nice and it was difficult to tell that it was freezing cold outside, except for when customers opened the door and walked inside.
A young man walked in and stomped to shake off the snow that had been collecting on his boots. He wore a grey Team USA jacket and dark blue jeans. Strangely enough, he had a pair of red Team Canada mittens. Natalya glanced at the man. The man noticed her gaze and smiled. Feeling embarrassed, Natalya looked away and started memorizing parts of her textbook again, sipping on her still scalding coffee and burning her tongue. The man bought a caramel mocha latte and left the café. This went on for a while. Natalya would always get a medium Americano with a double shot of espresso while the young man would always get a large caramel mocha latte.
The day before Natalya's first exam, she was studying in the café as usual and the young man also read his notes in preparation for his exams. The unusual thing was that fatigue overcame her and she fell asleep on the table and the man had noticed. The atmosphere had become awkward as Natalya's friends were taking their exam at that very moment. The young man decided to do a kind gesture of putting his jacket over Natalya so she wouldn't catch a cold, however as the jacket touched her shoulder, Natalya woke up with a fright. She had almost stabbed the poor man with her blue highlighter. Awkward hellos were exchanged, and Natalya had clearly remembered what happened next. The man introduced himself as Alfred and said his Americanos were much better the café's and that Natalya should try them. The two had met in a café over a mutual interest in coffee. That single cup of coffee with an insufficient amount of caffeine sparked their brief relationship. She had really liked how direct he was until he very bluntly said that I wasn't going to work out.
Natalya remembered the relationship she had with Alfred; the times she had studied with him and the times he made her coffee. His coffee was amazing, made with love perhaps, and the caffeine helped Natalya stay awake for busy classes and exams. Alfred was like a ray of sunshine in her life in a way. As Natalya tried to collect her nostalgic thoughts of the past, her phone suddenly vibrated, finally breaking the silence that lasted the entire night. It was a text message from Alfred. He wanted to get back together, to fix his mistakes, and kept on apologizing. Natalya thought about Alfred and his kindness. Maybe her kindness and love were artificial or maybe their relationship was just not the type that would last. Their personalities clashed with one another and soon after apologies followed. Yet, after they broke up, Natalya began to miss Alfred's jumpy personality and his Americanos. Who knew how much caffeine was in them? They probably had at least three espresso shots, but at least they helped Natalya survive her finals.
She tried to think about if they should get back together or not but their relationship was destined to fail. Was their relationship really worth going through all that trouble? Their personalities didn't work with each other well since Alfred lacked the seriousness that she had. Maybe Natalya didn't love Alfred after all; maybe she just loved his coffee. Natalya thought for another 10 minutes and grabbed her phone and deleted the message. Then she deleted all the other messages Alfred had sent her. Once they were deleted, she turned off her phone and stuffed it under her pillow. She felt bad, but the tears just wouldn't come out. She did fall asleep though; the effects of Alfred's caffeine had finally worn off.