If I wasn't so upset by its effect, I would have probably noticed how soothing rain could be. I mean, I lived in Washington State. Sunny days were far more infrequent than rainy days were. After a decade of living in the state, I was quite habituated to the rain. Or so I thought.
Today's particular weather, however, was in the form of a brutal storm. It was more of a torrential downpour than anything else. Normally, that would not have been that noteworthy to me, if of course, I had planned on spending the entire day alone in the home, doing what most of my other wealthy, "wives with workaholic husbands" friends did on a Sunday afternoon; absolutely nothing, or rather, absolutely nothing productive.
I sighed inaudibly to myself as I sat down on one of the stools next to the island in the center of the kitchen, resting my chin in my hand as I watched my husband speak on his cell phone. Just from observing his body language, anyone could tell he was not overly satisfied at the moment. His broad, muscular shoulders were tense from stress, and an aggravated expression was plastered on his handsome face. I closed my eyes after he slammed his mobile phone shut, taking a deep breath in dreadful anticipation over what his next words would be.
"Well, my flight is most definitely cancelled."
Being one of the top surgeons in the state, let alone the country, came with a very pretty pay check. The stress that accompanied Carlisle's job, however, made me really wonder if it was all worth it. We had moved to Washington state when he had received his prestigious medical position, but ever since, I had wondered whether or not we both would have been much happier living in the rather dreary, extremely quiet, but quaint town of Ashland, Kansas. He had been offered a position there, as he had in many places before. Yet, both of our ambitions brought us closer to a metropolis, a large city where we both simply assumed that when our careers flourished, so would our family and our marriage. In our case, two out of three was not good enough, for me at least.
Our children adapted very well to the lifestyle change, and thrived in their youth and teenage years. I was even able to garner a job with La Dolce Vita, an interior design company which catered to some of the country's most prosperous and famous citizen's domestic design needs. I couldn't lie to anyone, including Carlisle; I adored my job. I adored being close enough to Seattle without living in the city. I adored raising my children here. I adored the rain. I adored our life. Yet, I hated what had become of our marriage.
Between work, raising our family, and trying to remain relatively sane, Carlisle and I somewhere along the line forgot that we were married. There was never, ever a moment in which I considered divorce. There had been really nothing wrong with our marriage, the way he treated me, or the way I treated him. The first few years of being together were love-filled, abundant, and purely focused on building and rebuilding our relationship with each other. Each year after, however, our priorities altered, and devastatingly, it seemed like our love had changed too. I still loved Carlisle profoundly, just as much as I did the day I married him. However, our main concerns became our family, and then our jobs once the children moved and became adults. As long as we knew we were both healthy, financially secure, and appeared happy, we did not consider nor make the time to reinforce our marriage.
While that method seemed fine and dandy most of the time, today was one of those days that karma decided to seek revenge. Or rather, seek revenge on both of us. Carlisle's flight was cancelled, meaning that he wouldn't be going to New York City for one of his medical meetings for at least a day. And since I was not planned to travel down to Austin to meet with a prospective new client, we both would be home today. I could not even remember a recent time in which both he and I were home alone, without kids, work, or any other vital diversion to keep us unconnected in mind from each other. As inexcusable as it sounds, I really didn't know what today would bring.
"Did they reschedule you for another flight?" was all I could think of asking, watching him pace around the abandoned kitchen that we rarely used for anything, especially cooking.
"Yes, for tomorrow evening. I don't see what the point is. I mean, the conference is only until Wednesday morning. I would be missing an entire day..." he huffed, running a hand through his blond tresses. How his hair never greyed with the stress of his job was indeed a medical mystery to me.
I sighed again, feeling distressed with the prospect of spending the day with him. It was bizarre. It was truly revolting that I was really feeling this upset about it. But frankly, I didn't know what to say to him. We always had something to hide behind, whether it was our children or our work. Now, everything was stripped from us, leaving us only to face each other in absolute and brutal honesty.
"I'm sorry," I replied softly, suddenly feeling guilty for his "loss". His impassioned look softened a bit and his face relaxed, as if he felt remorse for something too.
"Esme... it's not your fault," he replied, in such a mild, peaceful tone that it brought back far too many memories for me. It brought back far too many memories for me to handle without causing a severe headache. And since I knew that we were completely out of Cheval Blanc, I didn't even want to bother with thinking about the past, the losses, and what could have been.
A silence, somewhat awkward and gruelling, arose between us for a moment. He always had an intense look in his eyes, one that could read your innermost secrets and thoughts. I cleared my throat and stood up, wrapping my sweater tighter around my torso as I stood up across from him.
"I'm feeling a bit tired. I think I'll just take a bath and try to get some rest," I said. Faintly I remembered how so long ago, the young Esme would have invited her husband to come along with her. The young Esme and young Carlisle would spend hours together on days like this, cooking together, watching black and white films, discussing nonsense, bathing together, making love...
That was so long ago. And sometimes, I really wished I couldn't remember those moments. The memories were becoming agonizing.
I went upstairs to our master bedroom, walking across the large room to the large bathroom I insisted to be attached to it when we first moved. After turning on the taps, I quickly undressed, throwing my clothes nonchalantly on the floor of our room before re-entering the bathroom. It was terribly depressing that the most exciting thing I had to look forward to right now was cleaning up the small haphazard pile of clothing in our bedroom once my bath was done.
As I submerged myself into the water, I desperately hoped that it would have a therapeutic effect on my body and mind. The warmth, combined with the sound of the soft patter of rain tenderly beating on the window above me, did relax me considerably. I even found myself forgetting about everything, the past and the present, for a few heavenly minutes. I could not hear Carlisle, and briefly, I wondered if he had left to go somewhere. Sometimes I believed that the Hospital was truly his home, and he only came back out of guilt or burdensome responsibility to the mother of his children. But that thought was even too melancholic for my own consciousness, and I tried to push it out of my mind. Unfortunately, it did not disappear that easily, and worsened my already foul mood.
As if things could not get any worse, the lights flickered briefly, before blacking out entirely. I groaned, irritated at how the day, which seemed to have such good potential at the beginning, had hastily diminished into a dreadful day. I stood up and got out of the tub, blindly reaching around the bathroom for my towel. After a few snaps of livid thunder and flashes of lightening, I realized that a towel really was not that important right now, and all I wanted to do was get out of the bathroom and into bed, where I could sulk in my own solitude.
After a few moments of searching, I found the doorknob and opened the door to re-enter the bedroom. What I saw, however, startled me more deeply than anything else I could recall. The room was filled with soft, gentle light coming from several different candles. I self-consciously searched around the room, looking for the only person who would have done something like this for me. With no luck, I promptly began making my way to my closet, until a voice stopped me completely.
"I almost forgot how impeccably beautiful you were, Esme."
I couldn't believe the words that were spoken for two reasons. Firstly, my forty-something year old body was definitely not the twenty-something year-old body that he had married so many years ago. Whether it was a few extra pounds or a few more wrinkles, they all contributed to making my body, or rather my body image, slide downhill over the years. Secondly, I hadn't heard him say anything like that for ages. It wasn't even the fact that he was complimenting me. Carlisle had always complimented me. But it was the tone, the sincere, sensual tone that made it seem far too astounding to be true.
I felt a hand gently rest on the small of my back, and warm breath on the side of my neck, the two actions combining to trigger goose bumps to form on almost every inch of my body. My body was trembling in eagerness, longing for his touch for so long. The moment I felt his lips on my pulse point on the side of my neck, my whole body seemed to arch into his touch and a low moan escaped my lips. I could tell he was silently chuckling, my body reacting overdramatically to him as it usually did.
"I've missed you, so very much..." he whispered, both of his hands inching up the front of my torso as he held me from behind, his lips making a trail from below my ear to my shoulder.
"Have you missed me?" he asked, his voice full of raw, uninhibited lust, before he kissed that one spot just behind my ear that he knew could absolutely drive me wild.
"Yessss...." I hissed. It was remarkable the effect he could have on me. With just a few actions and words, he could have complete control of me. Before I could fully enjoy our moment, I abruptly realized that I was completely naked, and soaked (in more than one way), while he was still fully dressed in his business attire. I reached for his hands, which were dangerously close to the curves of my breasts, and held them as I turned around, with a understated smile on my face.
"If we are going to play any game, Mr. Cullen, we are going to play it fairly," I told him, and with a smirk, I began to undo his tie, taking it off and throwing it aside before undoing each button on his shirt. Next, I kissed my way down his torso, my lips enjoying exploring every tantalizing inch of his well formed abdominal muscles, while savouring the moans he was unsuccessful at containing.
When I reached his belt and trousers, I could already see his desire visible to me. With an overconfident smirk, I went down on my knees and kissed each of his hipbones, before undoing his trousers and looking up at him.
"I can see you've missed me very very much."
He chuckled melodiously as he ran his fingers through my hair, while I slowly stripped the bottom half of his body. I was fully prepared and willing to bring him pleasure first, but the moment I grasped him in my hand, he reached for me, stifling a groan, before pulling me up to stand in front of him.
"Esme... I can't wait. It's been far too long, and I want both of us to share this," he spoke, so unbelievably amorously, that I could barely contain myself. He lifted me up, allowing myself to wrap my legs around his waist, while he carried me to our large bed. We both tumbled upon it, sharing a laugh and a few invigorating kisses, before he slowly entered me. It had been so long, my body still had to adjust to his size. Yet, within moments, our bodies were moving together in shared rapture, just as if they were made to be one, to always be this way. We reached our peaks together, moaning each other's names and gazing into each other's eyes.
Those shared moments rekindled something that had been forgotten within our relationship. Before I even knew it, Carlisle was tenderly wiping a lone stream of tears from my face, gazing at me compassionately, intently, and lovingly.
"Was it not-"he began to question, before I smiled and placed a finger to his lips to silence him.
"It was beyond perfect. It was beyond perfection," I replied, kissing his lips delicately as he held me closer to his body. Our heartbeats synchronized as we rested together, lying in each other's arms, where we were always meant to be.
"I missed you so much, Carlisle. I never want to experience that much time apart, ever again," I confessed to him, my emotions finally allowing themselves to be revealed to him. I could feel tears stinging my eyes again as I looked into his warm eyes, but he just gave me a gentle smile, his thumb smoothly running across my cheekbone, pushing a stray hair aside out of my face.
"I love you Esme. I promise you, it never will," he vowed. With that, he reached for my hand and gently kissed the ring on my ring finger, the symbol that bound us to one another eternally. I gave him a teary-eyed smile, to which he returned. And within moments and the days that passed, we were repeating our previous activities, again and again, whether it was raining or not.
(It was time for a sweet little lemon. With everything else happening right now, I thought it was time for another Carlisle/Esme story! Comments are wonderful (for inspiration and motivation!). Thanks!!)