I in no way own the Hunger Games, I am a mere fan, writing for pure fun.
The television flickered on, district update I figured. Boy was I wrong. There he stood; I could almost smell the disgusting aroma sent off from the white roses in his hands. Wasn't he dead? I saw him stampeded over the day I shot Coin, taking her life; the life of the woman who had ordered the death of my beloved Prim, my little sister, my only sister. The last bit of sanity vanished that day; I'd never be the same. I've lost too much.
I guess I could have seen what I wanted. And boy did I want him dead. I felt the old feelings coming back, the fear, the un-sureness, the memories returning. Prim, Rue, Cinna, everyone.
But then he came; reassuring me I'd be fine, that everything would be okay, comforting me in my time of need. Even after all that I caused him, he still loved me. I will never be able to pay him back, he's given me too much; the debt long pass payable, until today.
"Surprised are you, Panem?" He laughed, continuing on afterward. "You really didn't think I was gone did you? Ha." He shook his head disbelievingly and then pointed to the stage beside him. The camera followed. And there she stood, dressed in a wonderful green dress, suited with a silver belt. She looked beautiful, but also serious. Her outfit screamed her name all too well. With a returning nod, she began "Hello all, President Paylor here happy to announce something big, something great. You will all be happy to hear, I'm sure of it." She smiled and then nodded ahead of her, across the central plaza; the camera now taking aim at a stage across from where she stood. She soon made her way there, once again accompanied by Snow. He was baring a smile. Something big was going to happen. I studied the television searching for any type of clue, and there is was. The seal the president's seal, I gasped, not again, this couldn't happen again. It couldn't.
A rush of fear swept through my body, followed soon by anger. What was he going to do? What all was all my suffering for? Did all my loved ones die for nothing? No, they didn't. They died for something; it was just, that something was returning. Infecting a nation that he wasn't supposing to be a part of anymore. The nation that his chaos had made.
When I'm back to reality, I see Snow, he's standing proud. Staring into the camera, staring at me. It was crazy, but true. The look in his eyes, it said my name. It called for me. It told me everything I needed to know, that soon I'd be dead.
He licked his lips, "As president I'd like my first piece of business to be, well to introduce something I know you all missed during my absence. But instead, I'll allow the former president, Ms. Paylor to take care of that. As I have many duties to attend to. Good bye and till next time, Panem. Your returning president, Snow. Ms. Paylor, if you would." He said as he gestured to her, exiting the stage.
"I'd be honored, now on to the Hunger Games-"
I turn from the television, eyes watering. I'd once again be forced to fight. Even with my victor status, I know I'd be pushed into it; they'd find a way. I don't know how but they would.
"You're safe, they can't choose a Victor-" His voice was drained out by the crying coming from the audience, my attention immediately shifts.
She allows the crowd to calm down, "Yes, yes it's true. We will be starting new; I guess you could say fresh; a clean slate. Sixteen years of games down the drain. But that is fine, we are more than happy to restart. Reaping will be tomorrow, and the games, soon. And remember: May the odds ever be in your favor!" The screen goes black, so do I.
I smile at his face, he's saved me once again, another thing to add on the everlasting list of things that I owe him. Do I deserve it? No. Will he allow me to say it? No.
"Get up, you need to change. The reapings await." He says, brushing the mess of hair dangling in my face. I force a smile, hiding my uneasiness. "What happened?"
"You passed out." He said, grabbing my hand, squeezing it. Telling me everything would be okay.
"Oh." I sighed, looking down.
"Yea..."
"I'll get changed." I get up.
"Right, well I've chosen your clothes. It's in the bathroom drawer. I'm dressed, I'll be waiting." He says, embracing me in his arms. I squeeze his shirt in between my fingers. Closing my eyes tightly. Maybe if I do, once I open them, it'll be all gone, and I'll be safe.
I open them, it doesn't work.
I force myself to the bathroom. Stripping the clothes off of me. I step into the shower, allowing myself to be cleansed by the warm water.
After a huge amount of time, I'm out, getting dressed. I smile at the clothes he has chosen for me. It's the dress that started it all. My mother's dress. The Capitol had returned it to me long after the Coin incident. I tried to return it to my mother, but she wouldn't have it. I think she hates me, the letters have depleted greatly. I'm lucky to receive one every two weeks. She's stopped calling all together. But it's okay; I'd probably do the same. I would hate me too if I was her, I may have saved Prim the first time, but the second, I couldn't I allowed them to kill her. I wasn't there for her. And I brought this to her, I killed my sister.
I braid my hair down; I couldn't bring myself to style it as my mother did the first day, the reaping two years ago.
The walk there seems to take forever. I can't stop thinking about it. On arrival all eyes are on me. I don't return any. I can't let them feel bad for me. We all know what is going to happen here. I will be sent into a fight I won't return from. I will die.
I make my way with him to our section. We are with the other eighteen year old kids. I make no attempt to talk to anyone, not even him.
It's quiet before Effie finally begins to speak. She's obviously upset, probably in terms with what will happen. She sighs, "Now remember: A new rule will be added. You may now volunteer for anyone, no matter the gender. We will choose two children, the genders, we don't know." The crowd is still as she dumps the two black boxes together, allowing for the names to be mixed. This year, we won't know who will chosen. Maybe two boys, or two girls, or even as it used to be a boy and a girl. It will all be a surprise. Except for the fact that we all know I'll be up there. We all stand in angst. She pulls out her hand. She reads the name Rory Hawthorne. Only fourteen, now being forced to play. He walks through the crowd, in tears as he has to force his six year old sister off of him, falling to the ground behind him as he slowly makes his way to the stage. Will no one volunteer for him? I was too scared to remember volunteering happened after the two were chosen.
The world then freezes. I can only see Gale in tears, having to watch his brother die in the games. No, I can't allow it. I shove through the crowd, feeling as if I won't make it. That the games will have begun long before I finally made it. I burst through an opening in the crowd front, screaming a loud no! As I take the boy in my arms, the crowd in awe as I begin to tear up. Rory stares at me, forcing back his own tears. He whispers to me, "No." But it is too late; I've made up my mind. I turn bowing to Effie; she shakes her head to me, staring at me in disbelief, also wishing that I wouldn't do it. I wipe the few tears that are now lagging down my face as I clearly say, "I volunteer."
I make my way up, keeping my face straight. Effie is distracted by what I've just done; looking at me as if she wanted to hug me. Which right now, truth be told, I don't think I'd mind.
"Well Katniss, thank you for your eagerness. We'd love to have you be a part of our games!" She says redirecting the attention back to her.
She once again reaches for a slip of paper. She slowly pulls it out, Taking eye to the name she gasps. Did she pull my name? No, I know who. I shake my head. I wish it wasn't true, that this was all a dream. I force the tears that my eyes are begging to release back, fighting to stay calm. I feel as if I'll loose at any second. She then shakily lets it out, revealing the name. "Peeta Mellark."
The cameras are now all on me. Begging for my reaction I don't give in.
He slowly makes his way up and by my side. Grabbing my handing, giving it a slight squeeze. I look into his eyes, his beautiful eyes. I smile, knowing now what is it I'll have to do. I will save him. I will die for the boy with the bread. Taking a whipping for him, just as he did for me many years ago.
He looks at me, staring pass my eyes, and into my soul. Finding the truth, he knows me too well. He looks disgusted by my smile. His eyes widen. He now knows all that I plan to do. Squeezing my hand once more he begs for me to change my mind. Whispering a silent "No." I shake my head, I have to do this.
Effie talks for a while before saying the signature, "May the odds ever be in your favor!" Thus ending this year's reapings. Later we will all watch who else has been picked. She exits the stage in tears, poor Effie. How must it be watching children die? Children you've gotten close to in your short time with them? We may have spared her three years, but this time, my return will be nonexistent. I will die in the games. The Peacekeepers, newly trained and newly hired walk us off. We make our way to the Justice building to say our goodbyes. For me, my final goodbyes.
I'm only visited by one person, Gale's mother. She cries as I comfort her. She begs for my forgiveness. I pat her back. "It's not your fault." I smile, kissing her forehead. "They wanted this."
She's confused, staring at me puzzlingly. She's about to ask a question, but it's too late. Time is up. They drag her out.
Now time to make our way to the train.
The ride to the train isn't long at all. I step out the car. Taking notice to the crowd that has formed. They are silent, only mumbling small It's okay's to me. We all know it won't be. Peeta is behind me, head held high. He's not going to be shamed, not anymore. We reach the train. Before entering I turn to face the crowd, many of them are crying. I bow, a sort of final goodbye on my part.
It is then when a man lights a stick on fire, screaming, "For our Mockingjay, the girl on fire! If we burn, you burn with us!" It is the last thing I hear before the shots that sound his death. Another to add to the list, I think. I've lost count of what number I was on. I now stare at the frantic crowd. It has been an honor.
We have been on the train for an hour now, there's nothing to do. I haven't seen Haymitch, so I go to his room. Even before getting to the door, the musty smell of alcohol hits my nose. He's even worse than after the nationwide announcement, after hearing all that was said he knew that once again, he'd send me in. Only this time, I wouldn't return.
I open the door, gasping at the sight. I force my eyes closed. He's naked. Drunk.
"Haymitch!" I scream.
"Calm down sweetheart, ain't nothing you ain't already seen." He says, rubbing at his bare chest.
I scream for Peeta. He hurries in, also cringing at the sight. We stare at each other and then nod. We each take a side, lifting the man up. We carry him to the bathroom, forcing him into the shower, the warm water beating against his skin. He mumbles words of reluctance. But we don't stop, we wash him down. I force his head into the stream of water. Washing his hair, leaving the rest of his body to Peeta.
It's awhile before he's fresh and clean, I take the liberty of cleaning his room. I couldn't bring myself to asking the Avox assigned to us. It confused me, really. How could someone betray the government so quickly? Was this because of me? I'm not flattered.
We dress him up, Haymitch is pissed. We ignore his words of anger shooting from his mouth. We force him to the dinning cart. Effie is waiting. I feel bad for not giving her the attention I had given Haymitch. I just figured she could care for herself. I was wrong, she was a mess.
Dinner is silent; it is when dessert arrives that Peeta finally breaks it.
"What are we going to do?" He asks.
"I don't know" Says Haymitch.
"Yea how about we play?" Everybody is now looking at me; they look rather disgusted at my idea. "Or at least look like we are. For I have no intention in winning!" I add.
"You can't do that! People look up to you, people need you!" Peeta informs me, loudly.
"I don't want them to, I want to die! Peeta, I'm not happy. Please! I want to, I want to die!"
He begins to cry, "So you'll leave me?"
The sadness in his words pains me, "I don't want to leave you, I want to save you." I avoid his eye contact.
"Well don't."
"Try me!" I scream, tears threatening to form in my eyes.
"Don't leave me here alone! Katniss, I love you."
I cry at his words. Yes, yes he does. Sigh, why Peeta? Why? I begin to plead with him, "Please."
"No." He says coldly, leaving afterward.
Haymitch stares at me, I don't know what he's thinking. If only he'd talk! And he does, "You can't do that."
"What?"
"Give up." He leaves as well.
It's me and Effie, now. We manage to finish our meal before she runs off in tears. Reminding me before she did that we'd have to get our rest, that we would be expected up early for the Opening Ceremonies. They'd be held in the afternoon this year, rather than late at night. I am in no mood to go this year, I don't think anyone is. I don't think anyone ever is. I'd be without Cinna, I miss him. My stylist in the two games I played in. Another death I caused.
I feel the nightmares on their ways; I knew I'd have to relive her death, all their deaths. Prim's, Rue's, Cinna's, Finnick's, everyone's. I bring myself to my feet. Dragging them to Peeta's room. Looking for his comfort. He's reluctant at first, but too nice, too caring to refuse for too long. He opens his arms to me. I smile, "I'll miss you." I let out before kissing him. He tears up, not arguing. He too now has a plan. And he too would miss me. We kiss for a while. I missed this. Him holding me. I can't remember the last time I slept in his arms.
Before I know it, I'm asleep.
If you would review? Thank you!